76 Quotes About Sexy Humor

Males of all species are made for wooing females, and females typically choose among their suitors. If you take a closer look, you can observe such behavior all around you. The beautiful bird chirping outside your window. It’s a mating call. That pretty little bird is trying to attract a potential mate, so that it can propagate its genes. Why does the peacock have such beautiful feathers? It is to attract a healthy female. He as well is trying to propagate his genes. Even we humans, are not much different from the rest of the animal kingdom when it comes to attracting potential mates. When women dress up for their night out at the club, they are doing so to look attractive. This is a subconscious evolutionary desire to attract as many potential mates as possible.. While women tend to grab attention with their looks, men on the other hand, tend to attract as many potential females as possible, by showing off their resources. When a man shows off with his fancy car, expensive gold watch and suit, or flexes his muscles and brags about how many credit cards he owns, he’s doing so to make himself desirable by healthy women, in order to propagate his genes. It is all in the pursuit of reproduction. . Abhijit Naskar

Nature programmed the neurobiological processes of early love to appear as something beyond the primitive sexual cravings of the genitals. So, from an evolutionary standpoint, it all leads to copulation and reproduction, but from the perspective of the individual who has recently fallen head over heels in love with someone, it is mostly about a sensation of warmth and delight, and rarely of sexual nature. Abhijit Naskar

The primary goal of a righteous parent who has a daughter is to minimize the number of boys and men for whom their daughter will have willingly opened her legs come her wedding day; the closer to zero, the more righteous they will seem. Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Gabby couldn't believe what he had just said. Her mouth gaped open and a flirty smile came over her. She slowly peeled her half wet white t-shirt over her head and then slowly shimmied out of her shorts. What had gotten into her? She had never acted like this before, but she suddenly felt playful, fun and daring. If he wanted to play, so could she. J.B. McGee

Mmmm I like the sounds you're making, " he murmured in a honeyed whisper. "I just bet that you're a screamer. Should I have brought earplugs? Kurt Nielsen Nikki Sex

When you f*** a Vampire, you get a free hat. Daven Anderson

I want you in every way possible and in ways you’ve probably never even imagined. Your saving grace is I don’t sleep with vamps. If things were different we wouldn’t be talking and you’d be enjoying the hell out of where this could be going.” - Lexan, The Way You Bite Zoe Forward

Mr. Montgomery pushes the envelope. It's everything we shouldn't do, yet, he makes us want to, anyway. Nadlee Thims

With Mr. Montgomery, I set out to see what it would be like to write a novel in 30 days. It was hell! I'd do it again in a minute. Nadlee Thims

Nineteen ninety-eight was a banner year for Connie. She was separately invited by two male former college friends to participate in an ménage à trois with them and their wives, despite her overbite and diminutive breasts. Shannon BradleyColleary

It's funny, this - so many words to describe the same thing, ” she smiled..“ Penis is simply an anatomical appendage, as exciting as a finger or a phalange. A willy is something small and flaccid, and at least slightly humorous. Prick is the organ as viewed with distaste, perhaps with so much as to describe the entire body it’s attached to, like a dick, but more so. Phallus is a symbol of fertility, but my favourite..is the cock, which is only ever the hard, real thing, unleashed and ready to dive head-first into any waiting orifice. Or hole, while I’m in thesaurus mode. Morgana Blackrose

I don’t know what came over me.” Charlie smiled. He drew her to him and kissed her. “Me, ” he said. Luggs

The best laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned. Susan Block

Her insides began to roar with a ferocious explosion of sensation and entitlement. For a moment, her thinking mind know this was what male and females were put on earth to do. Lisa McKnight

My sub doesn't pay for me, ” he says, pulling me to my feet. “That just doesn't happen.”“ But we ordered so much, ” I say helpl Nenia Campbell

I’m going to make you feel so good, ” I swore to her, “that you’re going to not just scream my name, but forget yours. Shay Savage

You love that, don't you?" I growled. "Being hammered by my cock... you must think you're in... fucking... heaven." Punctuation by cock thrust - the very best kind. Shay Savage

Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner. Jacob M. Appel

The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop. Jacob M. Appel

Real sex is as much about reciprocity as it is exploration and if you need a reason to resent a man later on, just consider the guy who doesn’t believe in cunnilingus... Roberto Hogue

They all think men are obsolete. useless. as if we're just some sexual appendix. Chuck Palahniuk

He began to take off his shirt. "Undress, " he ordered. "No." There was a fierceness in her eye, and a smile on her lips. "Make me. Zoey Ellis

We can’t do this on so many levels, ” she whispered. But I don’t care." Vee, The Way You Bite Zoe Forward

Did you get any blood on your breasts? I’m willing to go the extra mile. Dannika Dark

You know what?” he whispered, out of breath, “You’re about to be in a whole lot of trouble. We probably better go. Laney Smith

I give him a skeptical look. “You want to show me your dick?”“ If it’ll help convince you.” He drains the last drops of his Scotch and stands up. “Come on, let’s go. Kendall Ryan

Ugh. You’re being .. . you.”“ Was that in English?”“This is all your fault.”“ Nope. Definitely not English.”“You’re being all hot and sexy, dammit, ” she said. She banged her head on his chest a few times. “And I can’t seem to .. . not notice said hotness and sexiness. Jill Shalvis

Did you get a secret thrill out of sitting across from me, eating a civilized dinner while pretending not to know you were teasing my cock?" Rate St. Sebastian Samanthe Beck

You didn’t care about anything except my tongue tracing the path of your thong. All the way down…" Rafe St. Sebastian Samanthe Beck

I like to play dirty. I can also be very, very exacting.” Rate St. Sebastian. Samanthe Beck

I warned you the next time you spread your legs for me, I wouldn't be a gentleman. Did you expect a gentleman, Chelsea?" Rate St. Sebastian Samanthe Beck

What the hell are you doing with my underwear?” He kept his response flippant. “I don’t have this color in my collection. Miranda Liasson

It’s not over, Maddie. It’s still not over between us. We need to talk. Miranda Liasson

They’d used sex instead of communication in the past, and it had turned out disastrously. Miranda Liasson

How was it that the one man who could take their company down appeared to be the only one who believed in her? Miranda Liasson

Stop, ” he murmured, or at least that’s what he meant to say. It came out sounding more like “Yes, ” which probably wasn’t the same thing at all. Tawna Fenske

I’m feeling particularly good and wicked at the moment. A.R. Von

He takes my mouth with such fervor, my heart pounds harder than after I’ve just run for miles. My legs now feel like over cooked noodles. A.R. Von

Took long enough, ” she called out, not wanting to admit how the sight of him made her throat hitch, how the man was so gorgeous she lost her mind. “I thought you drowned in the mirror from staring into your reflection too long. Katherine McIntyre

He gives. I take. He bangs. I rock. He slams. I shatter. He throws. I push. He grinds. I buckle. He pants. I puff. He wheezes. I gasp. He growls. I scream. He f*cks me like we're porn stars. ~Lexi S.J. Molloy

Mmhh! I have several ideas, but I don't know where to start.’‘ You mean to hear me shout your name?’‘ Yes, that's one of the ideas I have in mind. Debra Strattford

If you keep torturing me like this …’ Robert said.‘ What will happen?’‘ You don't know? Debra Strattford

I always thought 'love at first sight' was silly and incredibly irresponsible. Then, you came along and you flipped it on me. I understand it now. I do! ~Sheriff Derrick Decker Laney Smith

But as an escort it’s our duty to hold their attention and play with their heads. The one between their ears and the one in their pants. S.K. Logsdon

Guys are like dogs. You wish you could take them all home when they're young. But after they've howled all night and slobbered all over everything, you come to realize the ones already trained are much easier to live with. Paula Wall

First of all, I'll tell you who I'm not. I'm not your enemy, so you can put the sharp pointy objects away, ' he responded in a light conversational tone, obviously not deterred by my abrasiveness, which only pissed me off more to know he didn't find me to be a threat at all.' Well, first of all, I'll be the judge of that, ' I cut him off before he could continue. 'And second of all, I'm not interested in who you're not, ' I added.' So you're saying you're interested in who I am?' He gave me a moment to process what he said before a smile broke on his face. My cheeks flamed. 'Hardly. Just interested in whether or not I'll be seeing you around again, ' I was seething and beginning to shake with indignation.' So you want to see me again? . Alicia Deters

Did you want to change into something more comfortable?” Adrian asks with a raise in his eyebrows, breaking me out of my train of thought, but not away from naughty thoughts. I smack his knee. “I'm comfortable, but I know you're not.” He doesn't mind dressing up, but on most days I see him in casual clothes like screen-printed tees and hoodies.“ You're right, ” he says, tapping my knee lightly, standing up. As he walks toward the hallway, he slips his shirt off the rest of the way. I can't look away from the sight, even if it is only from the back. Damn. What is happening to me? Have I gone mad? Before I can tear my eyes away from him, he turns around. Judging by the look in his eyes, I've been caught. I have so been caught. Damn again. I didn't want him to see me practically drooling. It's too late for that now. He smirks. “You know, I could spend the rest of the night just like this.” He places a hand to the hard muscles of his chest. I clear my throat, trying really hard not to imagine my hand in place of his, and say, “If I'm wearing clothes, you're wearing clothes.”“ So if I'm not wearing clothes..” I grab a coaster from the coffee table and fling it at him. He catches it in his hand. “Just remember, all you have to do is say otherwise. Lilly Avalon

Feeling a little calmer?” she asked, leaning against the desk again. Dax snorted. “Mellow as anything. I’m ready to curl up and take a nap now. Don’t mind if I purr. Katherine McIntyre

She took hold of him through his pants. "I want this inside me five minutes ago. Amber Belldene

I hired you for your attitude, and so far I’m pretty happy with my decision. But I’m not sure I can work with you until I’ve fucked this attraction out of my system. J.C. Reed

For the briefest of moments his eyes sparkled before dimming again. “However much I would love to get into a discussion about chastity belts, now is not the time. The people we were fighting were not human in the strictest sense of the word. Michelle Smart

What was she thinking? He was her mechanic, not a piece of meat. Although, if he were a piece of meat, he’d be a big, juicy porterhouse, the naughtier side of her thought. -Gabby, Love in Greener Pastures Amanda Bretz

She had no idea how long they kissed–and kissed–but she didn’t think about stopping until she ran out of air. Breathing hard, she slowly opened her eyes and stared directly into his. They’d heated. Darkened. And something else. He wasn’t looking so relaxed now. In fact, he was looking the opposite of relaxed. He looked…feral. And she was his prey. Jill Shalvis

Because I absolutely, positively cannot fuck you, Lola, ” he says like it’s a formal declaration. I furrow my brow and salute him, which makes him snicker. Bianca Giovanni

Many of my ex-girlfriends were habitual half-asian daters. These women considered half-asian men 'exotic, ' 'sexy, ' and 'just-like-Keanu Reeves-in-the-Matrix. I consider these stereotypes appropriate because I got laid. Kip Fulbeck

You smell salty, " he says. "Like the ocean." He leans closer to me and licks up the side of my face. "You taste salty too. Maybe I should grab a bottle of tequila and we should have some fun." He moves his eyebrows up and down. "What do you say? We'll do some shots and I'll lick you all over. Jillian Dodd

Come make me sticky. Dimitri to Honor Nalini Singh

Shane was just leaving, too.”“ What?” he c Devon Ashley

Robert, what are you doing? I'm cooking.’‘ I like to thank the chef for the excellent food.’‘ But surely that is done at the end of the meal.’‘ What a good idea, I'll thank you later … as it should be done. Debra Strattford

Oh yeah, " Zane says and smirks at me. "I had her for dinner once. Best meal of my life. Nicole Christie

Just don’t stare at my ass, Landemere, ” he added.“ I wasn’t staring at your ass, ” Arranulf, who had been staring at his ass, said. Andrew Ashling

I’ll take her home. You guys finish … whatever … you were doing.” She glances to me, a slight blush on her face. I tug Cash’s borrowed shirt down, hiding my red ass cheek. The spatula is still in his hand. He’s only wearing boxers. Dear Lord. Pella Grace

Mew - mew. Mew.” I jump back from her finger swipes. “I am fluent in pussy, but I have no idea what this fucking means, Georgia. Pella Grace