200+ Quotes & Sayings By Chuck Palahniuk

Born in 1962 in Portland, Oregon, Chuck Palahniuk began writing in high school. He attended Reed College in Portland where he studied anthropology, psychology, and creative writing. His first book, Fight Club, was published in 1996. It is the #1 bestselling book about violence in publishing history and was made into a film by David Fincher in 1999 Read more

Palahniuk also wrote Choke, another bestseller about violence; Survivor; Rant; Snuff; Lullaby; Diary; Lullaby 2: Still Me; Invisible Monsters; Fugitives and Flies on the Butterfl y. In 2005 he wrote Damned, a novel about a father's guilt over his daughter's death from cancer. In 2008 he published two novels for young adults: Fight Club 2 and Doom Generation.

In 2012 he published a memoir called Don't Try This at Home: A Memoir of Blood and Stories.

The one you love and the one who loves you...
1
The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person. Chuck Palahniuk
2
What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction. Chuck Palahniuk
You know how they say you only hurt the ones...
3
You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways. Chuck Palahniuk
If you love something set it free, but don't be...
4
If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes. Chuck Palahniuk
Ok. You fuck me, then snub me. You love me,...
5
Ok. You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole. Is this a pretty accurate description of our relationship. Chuck Palahniuk
No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll...
6
No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close. Chuck Palahniuk
Six hundred and forty fish later, the only thing I...
7
Six hundred and forty fish later, the only thing I know is everything you love will die. The first time you meet someone special, you can count on them one day being dead and in the ground. Chuck Palahniuk
Make me into anything, but just love me.
8
Make me into anything, but just love me. Chuck Palahniuk
9
I thought we were a real love relationship. I did. I was very invested in love, but it was just this long long sex thing that could end at any moment because after all, it's just about getting off. Almost all the time, you tell yourself you're loving somebody when you're just using them. This only looks like love. Chuck Palahniuk
10
Almost all the time, you tell yourself you're loving somebody when you're just using them. This only looks like love. Chuck Palahniuk
No matter how much you love someone, you still want...
11
No matter how much you love someone, you still want to have you own way. Chuck Palahniuk
12
Just for the record, she still loves you. She wouldn't bother to torture you if she didn't. Chuck Palahniuk
It's easy to cry when you realize that everyone you...
13
It's easy to cry when you realize that everyone you love will reject you or die. Chuck Palahniuk
Love is bullshit. Emotion is bullshit. I am a rock....
14
Love is bullshit. Emotion is bullshit. I am a rock. A jerk. I'm an uncaring asshole and proud of it. Chuck Palahniuk
15
You can’t fool people into loving you. Chuck Palahniuk
16
All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. Chuck Palahniuk
This is your life and its ending one moment at...
17
This is your life and its ending one moment at a time. Chuck Palahniuk
You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it...
18
You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past. Chuck Palahniuk
19
No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice. Chuck Palahniuk
At the time, my life just seemed too complete, and...
20
At the time, my life just seemed too complete, and maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves. Chuck Palahniuk
It can only take a moment to waste the rest...
21
It can only take a moment to waste the rest of your life. Chuck Palahniuk
What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that...
22
What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven. Chuck Palahniuk
23
You know how both life and porno movies end. The only difference is life starts with the orgasm. Chuck Palahniuk
After you find out all the things that can go...
24
After you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less about living and more about waiting. Chuck Palahniuk
25
Every last minute of my life has been preordained and I'm sick and tired of it. How this feels is I'm just another task in God's daily planner: the Italian Renaissance penciled in for right after the Dark Ages..The Information Age is scheduled immediately after the Industrial Revolution. Then the Postmodern Era, then the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Famine. Check. Pestilence. Check. War. Check. Death. Check. And between the big events, the earthquakes and the tidal waves, God's got me squeezed in for a cameo appearance. Then maybe in thirty years, or maybe next year, God's daily planner has me finished. . Chuck Palahniuk
Everything is funnier in retrospect, funnier and prettier and cooler....
26
Everything is funnier in retrospect, funnier and prettier and cooler. You can laugh at anything from far enough away. Chuck Palahniuk
27
Anymore, no one's mind is their own. Chuck Palahniuk
We just had a near-life experience!
28
We just had a near-life experience! Chuck Palahniuk
The best way to waste your life, is by taking...
29
The best way to waste your life, is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch. Look for the details. Report. Don't participate. Chuck Palahniuk
You had to risk your life to get love. You...
30
You had to risk your life to get love. You had to get right to the edge of death to ever be saved. Chuck Palahniuk
Skinny guys fight till they're burger.
31
Skinny guys fight till they're burger. Chuck Palahniuk
My point is, that if I'm honest, my life is...
32
My point is, that if I'm honest, my life is all about me. Chuck Palahniuk
33
The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. If you can change the way people think. The way they see themselves. The way they see the world. You can change the way people live their lives. That's the only lasting thing you can create. Chuck Palahniuk
Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after...
34
Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. Chuck Palahniuk
35
You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you. Chuck Palahniuk
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a...
36
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken! Chuck Palahniuk
Yes, terrible things happen, but sometimes those terrible things- they...
37
Yes, terrible things happen, but sometimes those terrible things- they save you. Chuck Palahniuk
Me with nothing left to lose, plotting my big revenge...
38
Me with nothing left to lose, plotting my big revenge in the spotlight. Give me violent revenge fantasies as a coping mechanism. Chuck Palahniuk
39
The truth is, every son raised by a single mom is pretty much born married. I don't know, but until your mom dies it seems like all the other women in your life can never be more than just your mistress. Chuck Palahniuk
40
Music is crucial. Beyond no way can I overstress this fact. Let's say you're southbound on the interstate, cruising alone in the middle lane, listening to AM radio. Up alongside comes a tractor trailer of logs or concrete pipe, a tie-down strap breaks, and the load dumps on top of your little sheetmetal ride. Crushed under a world of concrete, you're sandwiched like so much meat salad between layers of steel and glass. In that last, fast flutter of your eyelids, you looking down that long tunnel toward the bright God Light and your dead grandma walking up to hug you--do you want to be hearing another radio commercial for a mega, clearance, closeout, blow-out liquidation car-stereo sale? . Chuck Palahniuk
41
Tyler lies back and asks, "If Marilyn Monroe were alive right now, what would she be doing?" I say, goodnight. The headliner hangs down in shreds from the ceiling and Tyler says, "Clawing at the lid of her coffin. Chuck Palahniuk
If Marilyn Monroe was alive right now, what would she...
42
If Marilyn Monroe was alive right now, what would she be doing?' Clawing at the roof of her coffin. Chuck Palahniuk
Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your...
43
Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please? Chuck Palahniuk
I still love him so much I'll hide any amount...
44
I still love him so much I'll hide any amount of conjugated estrogen in his food. So much I'll do anything to destroy him. Chuck Palahniuk
This is your life, and its ending one minute at...
45
This is your life, and its ending one minute at a time. Chuck Palahniuk
46
You think maybe if you just work harder and faster, you can hold off the chaos, but then one day you’re changing a patio light bulb with a five-year life span and you realize how you’ll only be changing this light maybe ten more times before you’ll be dead. Chuck Palahniuk
Honest is how I want to look. The truth doesn't...
47
Honest is how I want to look. The truth doesn't glitter and shine. Chuck Palahniuk
The truth is, immigrants tend to be more American than...
48
The truth is, immigrants tend to be more American than people born here. Chuck Palahniuk
You can tell people the truth, but they'll never believe...
49
You can tell people the truth, but they'll never believe you until the event. In the meantime, the truth will just piss them off and get you in a lot of trouble. Chuck Palahniuk
Maybe the truth is I really want to like you...
50
Maybe the truth is I really want to like you instead. Chuck Palahniuk
It's exhausting, the energy it takes to unknow a truth.
51
It's exhausting, the energy it takes to unknow a truth. Chuck Palahniuk
Because supposedly those who forget the past are condemned to...
52
Because supposedly those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it. Chuck Palahniuk
Some soap opera, you know, real people pretending to be...
53
Some soap opera, you know, real people pretending to be fake people with made-up problems being watched by real people to forget their real problems. Chuck Palahniuk
54
The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up. The shortcut to closing a door is to bury yourself in the details. This is how we must look to God. As if everything's just fine. Chuck Palahniuk
55
The best way to waste your life is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch. Look for the details. Report. Don't participate. Let Big Brother do the singing and dancing for you. Be a reporter. Be a good witness. A grateful member of theaudience. Chuck Palahniuk
Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out...
56
Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something. Chuck Palahniuk
57
I see in the fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, slaves with white collars, advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of the history man, no purpose or place, we have no Great war, no Great depression, our great war is a spiritual war, our great depression is our lives, we've been all raised by television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars, but we won't and we're slowly learning that fact. and we're very very pissed off. Chuck Palahniuk
58
If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? Chuck Palahniuk
59
Experts in ancient Greek culture say that people back then didn't see their thoughts as belonging to them. When ancient Greeks had a thought, it occurred to them as a god or goddess giving an order. Apollo was telling them to be brave. Athena was telling them to fall in love. Now people hear a commercial for sour cream potato chips and rush out to buy, but now they call this free will. At least the ancient Greeks were being honest. Chuck Palahniuk
60
Nobody wants to worship you if you have the same problems, the same bad breath and messy hair and hangnails, as a regular person. You have to be everything regular people aren’t. Where they fail, you have to go all the way. Be what people are too afraid to be. Become whom they admire. People shopping for a messiah want quality. Nobody is going to follow a loser. When it comes to choosing a savior, they won't settle for just a human being. Chuck Palahniuk
61
I am the child of a lunatic. Not a child of God. Chuck Palahniuk
It sounds as if you'd like to be God.
62
It sounds as if you'd like to be God. Chuck Palahniuk
If you're male, and you're Christian and living in America,...
63
If you're male, and you're Christian and living in America, your father is your model for God. And sometimes you find your father in your career. Chuck Palahniuk
It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder...
64
It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace. Chuck Palahniuk
The only way to find true happiness is to risk...
65
The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. Chuck Palahniuk
66
The big reason why folks leave a small town, ' Rant used to say, 'is so they can moon over the idea of going back. And the reason they stay put is so they can moon about getting out.' Rant meant that no one is happy, anywhere. Chuck Palahniuk
Our purest form of joy comes when people we envy...
67
Our purest form of joy comes when people we envy get hurt. That most genuine form of joy. Chuck Palahniuk
I don't want to die without any scars.
68
I don't want to die without any scars. Chuck Palahniuk
If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to...
69
If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character... Would you slow down? Or speed up? Chuck Palahniuk
A girl calls and asks,
70
A girl calls and asks, "Does it hurt very much to die?"" Well, sweetheart, " I tell her, "yes, but it hurts a lot more to keep living. Chuck Palahniuk
71
Reality means you live until you die...the real truth is nobody wants reality. Chuck Palahniuk
It's only in drugs or death we'll see anything new,...
72
It's only in drugs or death we'll see anything new, and death is just too controlling. Chuck Palahniuk
Put a gun to my head and paint the wall...
73
Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. Chuck Palahniuk
74
The worst part of writing fiction is the fear of wasting your life behind a keyboard. The idea that, dying, you'll realize you only lived on paper. Your only adventures were make-believe, and while the world fought and kissed, you sat in some dark room masturbating and making money. Chuck Palahniuk
75
You’ve thrown down the gauntlet. You’ve brought my wrath down upon your house. Now, to prove that I exist I must kill you. As the child outlives the father, so must the character bury the author. If you are, in fact, my continuing author, then killing you will end my existence as well. Small loss. Such a life, as your puppet, is not worth living. But… If I destroy you and your dreck script, and I still exist… then my existence will be glorious, for I will become my own master. Chuck Palahniuk
There's still a thousand places I haven't gone to die.
76
There's still a thousand places I haven't gone to die. Chuck Palahniuk
The lucky ones are just born dead.
77
The lucky ones are just born dead. Chuck Palahniuk
The amazing miracle of death, when one second you're walking...
78
The amazing miracle of death, when one second you're walking and talking, and the next second you're an object. Chuck Palahniuk
Someday you will die, and until you know that, you're...
79
Someday you will die, and until you know that, you're useless to me. Chuck Palahniuk
Only in death will we have our own names since...
80
Only in death will we have our own names since only in death are we no longer part of the effort. In death we become heroes. Chuck Palahniuk
Believe in me and you shall die, forever.
81
Believe in me and you shall die, forever. Chuck Palahniuk
The shortest distance between two points is a time line,...
82
The shortest distance between two points is a time line, a schedule, a map of your time, the itinerary for the rest of your life. Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list. Chuck Palahniuk
If she was going to die, Marla didn't want to...
83
If she was going to die, Marla didn't want to know about it. Chuck Palahniuk
Every evening, I died, and every evening, I was born.
84
Every evening, I died, and every evening, I was born. Chuck Palahniuk
What's up with you? How come you're being like this?'...
85
What's up with you? How come you're being like this?' Because it's the truth. This is the world we live in. Chuck Palahniuk
Le stelle in cielo Non conoscono l'ira Bla, bla, bla,...
86
Le stelle in cielo Non conoscono l'ira Bla, bla, bla, fine Chuck Palahniuk
What you run from only stays with you longer. When...
87
What you run from only stays with you longer. When you fight something, you only make it stronger. Chuck Palahniuk
88
The first step - especially for young people with energy and drive and talent, but not money - the first step to controlling your world is to control your culture. To model and demonstrate the kind of world you demand to live in. To write the books. Make the music. Shoot the films. Paint the art. Chuck Palahniuk
89
Ideas come at any moment -- except when you demand them. Most ideas come while I'm physically active, at the gym, with friends, gardening, so I always carry pen and paper. My first draft is always written in longhand. But once the first dozen chapters, more like short stories, are written, then momentum builds until I can't leave the project until it's done. Chuck Palahniuk
All the effort in the world won't matter if you're...
90
All the effort in the world won't matter if you're not inspired. Chuck Palahniuk
91
That’s the biggest purpose of religious gathering: permission to look terrible in public. We used to go to church to confess our worst behaviour, to be heard and forgiven, then to be redeemed and accepted back into our community Chuck Palahniuk
92
The religious school she went to, growing up, Ms. Wright said how all the girls had to wear a scarf tied to cover their ears at all times. Based on the biblical idea that the Virgin Mary became pregnant when the Holy Spirit whispered in her ear. The idea that ears were vaginas. That, hearing just one wrong idea, you lost your innocence. One detail too many and you’d be ruined. Overdosed on information. . Chuck Palahniuk
93
For official record, if become bankrupt old retail distribution centers-labeled supermega, so-enlarged foodstuff market- later reincarnate to become worship shrine. First sell food-stuff, next then same structure sell battered furnitures, next now born as gymnasium club, next broker flea markets, only at final end of life...sell religions. Chuck Palahniuk
94
Centuries ago, sailors on long voyages used to leave a pair of pigs on every deserted island. Or they'd leave a pair of goats. Either way, on any future visit, the island would be a source of meat. These islands, they were pristine. These were home to breeds of birds with no natural predators. Breeds of birds that lived nowhere else on earth. The plants there, without enemies they evolved without thorns or poisons. Without predators and enemies, these islands, they were paradise. The sailors, the next time they visited these islands, the only things still there would be herds of goats or pigs. Oyster is telling this story. The sailors called this "seeding meat." Oyster says, "Does this remind you of anything? Maybe the ol' Adam and Eve story?" Looking out the car window, he says, "You ever wonder when God's coming back with a lot of barbecue sauce? . Chuck Palahniuk
Some people still think knowledge is power.
95
Some people still think knowledge is power. Chuck Palahniuk
Game shows are designed to make us feel better about...
96
Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education. Chuck Palahniuk
Why do I do anything?' she says. 'I'm educated enough...
97
Why do I do anything?' she says. 'I'm educated enough to talk myself out of any plan. To deconstruct any fantasy. Explain away any goal. I'm so smart I can negate any dream. Chuck Palahniuk
Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good...
98
Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life. Chuck Palahniuk
The voice says, maybe you don't go to hell for...
99
The voice says, maybe you don't go to hell for the things you do. Maybe you go to hell for the things you don't do. The things you don't finish. Chuck Palahniuk
By the time you're thirty, your worst enemy is yourself.
100
By the time you're thirty, your worst enemy is yourself. Chuck Palahniuk