1
To some believers, being on the pill or using a condom is a nonverbal way of telling God to go to hell.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
2
It goes without saying that even those of us who are going to hell will get eternal life–if that territory really exists outside religious books and the minds of believers, that is. Having said that, given the choice, instead of being grilled until hell freezes over, the average sane human being would, needless to say, rather spend forever idling in an extremely fertile garden, next to a lamb or a chicken or a parrot, which they do not secretly want to eat, and a lion or a tiger or a crocodile, which does not secretly want to eat them.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
3
Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong men; a child, old men; an ignorant man, knowledgeable men; and for a dwarf to control giants.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
4
Being rich or famous is the only profound thing that some people have ever said.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
5
For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
6
Most sane human beings’ chances of being alive in a thousand years’ time are a hundred times higher than their chances of being sincerely happy for at least ten consecutive days.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
7
Not a few millions of parents strongly hope that their own children will step in by instantly becoming their own parents’ foster parents, if and when the parents reach their second childhood.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
8
Pain, unless it is physical, was sold to you (by your culture).Mokokoma Mokhonoana
9
Technically, all tattoos are temporary, even permanent ones.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
10
Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
11
Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are staring at them that they do not eat as much and as frequently as they seem to.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
12
Most sane human beings who are over the age of six usually act or react not as per what they genuinely feel or really think but in accordance with the expectations of those around them.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
13
The most upsetting thing about Society’s attitude towards disabled people is that many millions of disabled people became disabled while trying to please Society, the very same bitch that secretly regards them as subhuman.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
14
Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by our mothers, or vice versa.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
15
Patriotism is the narcissism of countries.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
16
Greed is a contagious mental illness without which civilization as we know it would not have been possible.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
17
Many a survivor of a plane crash who is or was against cannibalism and had never eaten human flesh once found themselves in a situation where they had to either eat human flesh, or go the way of all flesh.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
18
Many if not most slaves would have each readily jumped, and many if not most slaves would each readily jump, at the opportunity to be a master, if such an opportunity presents or had presented itself.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
19
Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not all underdeveloped and developing countries look up to and aspire to someday be developed countries.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
20
To ask a man whether or not he has a girlfriend is to talk about his sex life. If you disagree with that, then how in the name of God do you differentiate between a man’s girlfriend and a girl that is a friend to the man?Mokokoma Mokhonoana
21
The last time everyone loved or at least liked everyone was when the world had a population of about 4.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
22
As we all know, as if forever exploiting or attempting to exploit each other were not enough, a group of sane human beings who have just reached the end of a war against a common enemy of theirs will sooner or later start or continue killing and/or fighting against each other.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
23
In reality most human beings are not, to most human beings, more important than money.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
24
For their never-ending endeavours to obtain or retain wealth, countries desperately need companies, because they–unlike most human beings–have the means of production, and human beings, because they–unlike all companies–have the means of reproduction.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
25
Most sane human beings who have managed to attain and retain fame each uses it to dramatically increase their name’s chances of being remembered until Jesus comes back, since their heart cannot do what they consciously or unconsciously lust for, that is to say, for it to beat until Jesus returns.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
26
The average adult has had sex innumerable times more than they have formed an opinion of their own.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
27
Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the chocolate industry’s use of minors.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
28
There is nothing morally wrong with buying stolen goods, unless you know that they were stolen.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
29
Millions of business people are each constantly forced to choose between their desire to not be a bad person and their desire to be a good business person, that is to say, to make as much money as they possibly can by maximizing their revenue while minimizing the cost of producing whatever it is that they sell.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
30
We, in the interest of the so-called progress, have been persuaded to leave the production and at times the cooking of our food to companies whose owners and employees make a living by exploiting our busyness or laziness and our innate hunger to continue living.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
31
Many millions of pregnancies–many if not most of which have each led to the birth of at least one child–were each used as nothing but a conspicuous means to a secret end called the evasion of abortion.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
32
The world economy would collapse if a significant number of people were to realize and then act on the realization that it is possible to enjoy many if not most of the things that they enjoy without first having to own them.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
33
Many a parent, sad to say, has used their child as an opportunity for them, the parent, to do, through their child, something or some of the things that they, the parent, did not do or did not do successfully.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
34
When selecting a one-night stand, a heterosexual woman who is materialistic is a trillion times more likely to choose a sexually unattractive poor man who seems rich over a sexually attractive rich man who seems poor.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
35
Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of us who will never be or have not yet been pushed or pulled into old age.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
36
As an unavoidable result of the inevitable loss of some physical and/or some mental abilities, many a man who has been alive for many years has become a boy again.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
37
Millions of sane people would each be sexually attracted to their own parent or child if they were not related to them.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
38
Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
39
Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
40
Some people hate people who are overconfident, only because their overconfidence reminds them of their underconfidence.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
41
A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
42
If we were not impressed by job titles, suits, and jargon, we would demand that financial advisors show us their personal bank statements before they tell us what we could or should do with our own money.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
43
Boredom is probably more frequent and more tormenting if you do not have sight or hands.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
44
In some cases, you can tell how somebody is being treated by their own boss from the way they are treating someone to whom they are a boss.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
45
Some people are each holding on to a lover of theirs who no longer loves them and/or who they no longer love, only because they do not want to have a reason or another reason to be jealous of the person who would eventually be their lover if they let go of them.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
46
Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women if they stopped bringing their vaginas along.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
47
A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their partner, even if that is not true.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
48
More often than not, an inspirational or motivational speaker is someone who makes money from telling us that we can do all of the things that we can do … and pretty much all of the things that we cannot do.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
49
Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
50
Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
51
Bigheadedness is usually a symptom of small-mindedness.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
52
Some people will hate you for not loving them.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
53
We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
54
The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily mean that he or she does not love you. And the fact that you are the only person who someone is sleeping with does not necessarily mean that he or she loves you.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
55
A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or has only one hand.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
56
Most human beings strongly believe that money is way less important than the life of a human being, but in reality five hundred, fifty, or even five dollars are way more important to the lives of most human beings than the lives of most human beings.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
57
Most human beings would have never been pained by the death of a human being if they had never seen a human being or pretending to be pained by that.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
58
More often than not, expecting to lose weight without first losing the diet that made the weight loss necessary is like expecting a pig to be spotless after hosing it down while it was still rolling in mud.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
59
Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
60
Being bored is the price we pay for not being insane.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
61
We are loved way more by some of the people who have not contacted us in the last twelve or so months than we are loved by some of those who contact us every twelve or so days … or hours.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
62
We all have problems. Or rather, everyone has at least one thing that they regard as a problem.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
63
Many a death was precipitated by the food, the job, or the medication whose main function was to postpone it.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
64
When in court, the primary role of lawyers is not to prove or disprove innocence; unbeknown to almost all lawyers and their clients, it is to save the court time.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
65
The death of a billionaire is worth more to the media than the lives of a billion poor people.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
66
One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
67
The kind of lies that someone tells us gives us an idea of how stupid, knowledgeable, intelligent, or ignorant they are … or they think we are.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
68
An expensive coffin does not decrease the deceased’s chances of going to hell.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
69
Unless they are off duty, no matter how wide it is, and even when it is sincere, a smile seems fake if the job description of the person who is smiling includes smiling.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
70
Some people have contracted HIV during their separate endeavours to give someone or some people a curable STD.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
71
You cannot be truly humble, unless you truly believe that life can and will go on without you.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
72
Famine sometimes increases the number of people who are overweight.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
73
Some social ills are preserved by the common misbelief that things such as ignorance, greed, and stupidity do not have the stamina required to reach old age.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
74
A truly compassionate man gives a poor woman a portion of his meal before he eats, not after he has eaten.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
75
Some women’s greatest achievement is sleeping with a man who is rich, famous, and/or wanted by many women, whereas some women’s greatest achievement is refusing to sleep with such a man.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
76
Some people masturbate to temporarily replace their partners when they are absent, whereas some people do that to temporarily live in the present.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
77
With regard to things such as independence, mental capabilities, and sexuality, a very old man is nothing but a gigantic infant with white hair and wrinkles.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
78
Life sometimes reminds us that it is sometimes heartless by giving something or someone we really need to someone who does not need or even want them or it.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
79
Some people who have been working out regularly for months or even years are still out of shape because the number of cheat days they have in a week exceeds six.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
80
Some of the people who hate me love some of the sentences that I have written, until they get to the name of the person to whom the sentences are attributed.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
81
A maid’s yard, house, wardrobe, fridge, etc. sometimes also serve as her master’s dustbin or dumpsite.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
82
If the food that one ate the night before were somehow able to be seen and identified through one’s clothes throughout the day, millions of employees would each fast ten or so days before their payday.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
83
The human population would probably be way less than a thousand, if ejaculation were not usually accompanied by an orgasm.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
84
Many of the boys and men who are regarded as immature by some females are so deemed merely because they do not want to get married someday … or soon.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
85
Getting through life without a lot of money, possessions, and/or friends is admirable, especially if it is by choice.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
86
Though people sort of need your permission to talk to you, they do not really need one to talk about you.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
87
We envy people who are extremely old because we wish to live that long, not because we want to be that old.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
88
Being divorced does not necessarily make one’s advice on marriage useless … or useful.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
89
The real reason the number of things that are shared via social media every single minute is so astronomical is because, whenever they each do, most users do not share or say something because they believe they have something worth remembering; they do mainly or only because they fear being forgotten.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
90
Some people would regard people who look like they do as ugly if they did not look like them.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
91
Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
92
The second most dangerous thing about money is that it leaves most of the people who have a lot of it with the unshakable belief that they are intelligent and well informed. The most dangerous thing about it is that it leaves most of the people who do not have a lot of money with the very same belief.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
93
By drinking, a boy acts like a man. After drinking, many a man acts like a boy.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
94
Being a bad parent is a sign of not having learned from experience.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
95
He who is jealous is better off not dating someone who is bisexual.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
96
There is no such thing as a boring person when you are lonely or extremely bored.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
97
There is so much woman in many a girl and too much boy in many a man.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
98
Life curses some poor people with the love of luxury, while it blesses some with the very same thing.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
99
We call talking about other people’s personal lives ‘gossip’ only if we aren’t or weren’t part of the conversation.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
100
People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound.Mokokoma Mokhonoana