27 Quotes About Funny And Random

Dear God, Why don't you ever get inspired by those carmakers who recall defective models? Please be humble, accept that you made and mistake and recall all idiots, criminals, haters, terrorists and replace their defective minds. EverSkeptic

I guess it’s worth a shot.” More than likely a wasted bullet, but I’ll fire anyway. Brandy Nacole

So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes. Fakeer Ishavardas

His green eyes blazed with desire; such a different look than I'd known before. Chase had studied me, reading my feelings. Tucker was only trying to see his own reflection. Disturbing on several levels. Kristen Simmons

Imogene always sitson the remote. It’s probably wedged between her butt cheeks.”“ Should I go get a crowbar? Kirsten Miller

I grabbed a shovel and dug, and dug, and dug. Sorry not a very poetic thought, but very deep. Lenora Fraga

Ish #19 "If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking? Regina Griffin

He done his level best. Was he a mining on the flat. He done it with a zest. Was he a leading of the choir. He done his level best. If he'd a reg'lar task to do, He never took no rest. Or if 'twas off and on the same. He done his level best. If he was preachin' on his beat, He'd tramp from east to west, And north to south .in cold and heat. He done his level best. He'd Yank a sinner outen (Hades), And land him with the blest; Then snatch a prayer'n waltz in again, And do his level best. He'd cuss and sing and howl and pray, And dance and drink and jest, He done his level best. Whate'er this man was sot to do He done it with a zest; No matter what his contract was, He'd do his level best.. . Mark Twain

It is the end of the world. Surely you could be allowed a few carnal thoughts. Connie Willis

You are having a bad day? Remember it could always be worse... It could be me having a bad day! Mark W. Boyer

If anybody tells says you have to follow his or her #religion or you're going to hell, tell that silly ass to go to hell. Be well. Fakeer Ishavardas

I showed him the Post-it. “You see They’re from Lily.”“Who’s Lily?”“Some girl.”“ Ooh... a girl! ”“ Boomer, we’re not in third grade anymore. You don’t say, ‘Ooh... a girl! ’”“ What? You fucking her?”“ Okay, Boomer, you’re right. I liked ‘Ooh... a girl! ’ much more than that. Let’s stick with ‘Ooh... a girl! David Levithan

Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK? Orson Scott Card

I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace. Fakeer Ishavardas

Is that a rule? Do you have a rule that you can’t kiss people in the morning? Holly Hood

If he didn't want to be mauled by a sex-starved woman who hadn't gotten any skin in months, he'd better keep his hands to himself. Jody Wallace

There is no logic in logics except an illogical logic. Santosh Kalwar

People need to make sure they have a good humor spark plug inside them that can be ignited at any moment when required. Wes Adamson

Darling Daddy, Poor Saffy. She had a big fight in the boys toilets on Monday, did you know? A very big fight and Sarah helped and it was terrifying. Said a boy in my class who has a brother who was there. Saffy washed her hands and said Never Ever Never Dare You Touch My Brother. (Indigo). And the plug holes were blocked with hair. Love from Rose.-Sarah's mother has given us soup. Soup soup soup and then it was all gone. L. F. R. Hilary McKay

The sooner the jihadis go up to their imagined #heaven, the sooner our earth would be a heaven. Fakeer Ishavardas

MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?ME: MATH. KanyaACoffman

You keep the title of 'president' even if you served only one term. The same goes for rapists. Christy Leigh Stewart

Never make eye contact with a stranger when you’re having a churro. Rucy Ban