58 Quotes About Dirty

There are so many dirty jokes out there, but not all of them are funny. This collection of dirty quotes will help keep you laughing! Many people find that bad language or dirty jokes can be very offensive, or at the very least rude. However, there are some dirty jokes that are just plain funny.

They'll say you are bador perhaps you are mador at...
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They'll say you are bador perhaps you are mador at least you should stay undercover. Your mind must be bareif you would dareto think you can love more than one lover. David Rovics
Even dirty water has a bath
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Even dirty water has a bath R.W. Erskine
The [Five Second Rule] has many variations, including The Three...
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The [Five Second Rule] has many variations, including The Three Second Rule, The Seven Second Rule, and the extremely handy and versatile The However Long It Takes Me to Pick Up This Food Rule. Neil Pasricha
Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's...
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Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil and marabou feathers, I'm covered. Molly Harper
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Your... Your aura. It's... amazing. It's shining. I mean, it always shines, but today... Well I've never seen anything like it. I didn't expect that after everything that happened.' I shifted around uncomfortably. If I lit up around Dimitri normally, what on earth happened to my aura post-sex? Richelle Mead
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There is only one way to fight, and that's dirty. Clean gentlemanly fighting will get you nowhere but dead, and fast. Take every cheap shot, every low blow, absolutely kick people when they're down, and maybe you'll be the one who walks away. Jeaniene Frost
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The world brazenly touts freedom as both the inalienable right and morally liberating justification to mindlessly play in the filth that lies all around me. And the slight bit of sanity that yet remains within me asks, ‘what raging madness would prompt me to incessantly wallow in the very things that will eventually swallow me? Craig D. Lounsbrough
He with the cleanest clothes isn’t necessarily the cleanest.
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He with the cleanest clothes isn’t necessarily the cleanest. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Women are like sparkling diamonds, if you let too many...
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Women are like sparkling diamonds, if you let too many hands touch it, not only will it get dirty with too many smudges and finger prints, it will also lose its shine and lustre. Norhafsah Hamid
We must clean the lens of our hearts to see...
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We must clean the lens of our hearts to see the state of our souls. However, too often the former is too dirty to even know that the latter exists. Craig D. Lounsbrough
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I was taught that the most hardworking nurse is found at the dirtiest part of the clinical ward. Israelmore Ayivor
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To get rid of a spiritual problem, we need to pull it up by its spiritual root. To pull up roots, we're going to have to be willing to get our hands dirty, to make some sacrifices that provides long-term benefits instead of short-term, refinanced gains. God is willing to help us, to provide the tools we need to weed out those areas where our desire for money is spoiling our fruit of the Spirit. Craig Groeschel
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He longed for cleanliness and tidiness: it was hard to find peace in the middle of disorder. Robin Hobb
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Being a billionaire helps when you live in a slum and have to eat scraps of food and drink dirty water. Anthony T. Hincks
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If you are looking for a job that may make you sick, I can recommend working at a high powered solar photovoltaic (PV) utility power plant. Steven Magee
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Snow cleaning of the world's largest telescope mirrors was an impressive sight. The optics technicians would climb into a huge telescopic boom lift and spray immense clouds of cold carbon dioxide snow and gas onto the ten meter diameter mirrors high above the floor indoors. It would cause some of the accumulated dirt to magically fall off, leaving it less dirty. Steven Magee
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A man is not for you when all he knows is to slam your back on the bed and ram into you like a wild fool. The interested ones are the ones so interested that they become very interested in only interesting things about you. Michael Bassey Johnson
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I believe that sexual offenders and predators should be released…as long as it is mandatory they get to move into the house next door to the judge that released them. Heather Chapple
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If any woman opens her legs for you, don't feel so lucky to be fed with nonsense, she has been a bitch for a long time, and now its your own turn to get a share from her itching tunnel. Michael Bassey Johnson
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Anger is like sex urge, once gratified, the inner voice calls you a stinking fool. Michael Bassey Johnson
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The universe created us for and with love, joy, charm and beauty; but we are always running behind what is dirty. Debasish Mridha
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Good parents use the mistakes they did in the past when they were young to advice the children God gave to them to prevent them from repeating those mistakes again. However, bad parents always want to be seen as right and appear "angelic and saintly" as if they never had horrible youth days. Israelmore Ayivor
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The Trust movie it has shown how one picture could be twisted and even how the cops are dirty! Deyth Banger
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Trust, is the stone thrown into the sea, sinking deep in all its murkiness, unable to see what it once lived and believed to be a promise. Anthony Liccione
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Christianity is at its purest a philosophy about a person, Jesus Christ, and at its dirtiest a philosophy about requirements and law. Criss Jami
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Loss of cell phone reception inside of a building generally indicates that the following two issues may be present: 1. High electromagnetic interference (EMI) environment from dirty electricity that is being generated by electronic products. 2. Shielding and Faraday cage effects from metalwork in the building. Steven Magee
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I would like to turn in my skin and change it for a new epidermis. It feels as if I will never be able to rinse the sadness from my soul. All the while I am cognizant of the fact that I am trying to purge myself of my feelings. I start with my shell. I am in the water at least an hour. I immerse my head. My long, thick mane is so heavy, but I feel the lightness of my hair as it floats. I can hear my heart beating in my ears. I wonder what would happen if I died in this water. I drain the bathtub and refill it. I scrub my skin until it stings. I still don't feel clean. I close my eyes. I switch to lying on my back. I gaze at the heavens through the skylight on the ceiling above the tub. I am thinking about Isabella. I am struck by the feeling of uncleanness that I have been immersed in that day. I would imagine that this child feels unclean always, in body and in mind. I am hoping that the sheets in her foster home are snow white and fragrant. I am hoping that she felt safe. I am worried that she is so deeply alone and frightened. I know somewhere deep inside of me that the decisions and choices I made today were sound. I am praying, with eyes glued to the stars, that I will not awaken in the night with my heart beating out of my chest; that I will not be haunted by Francis's diseased body; that I will not perseverate on ever nuance of my day - the smells, the cockroaches, the piercing torment of Isabella's unseeing eye, her father's sore-ridden penis penetrating her tiny body. Yet in many ways this is an experience I hope never to forget. The pearls. I must not forget the pearls that I have promised her. Holly A. Smith
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If someone drives you into the dirty gutter, it's because you have given him your car key. Be careful of who leads you and to where and why... else, you will be taken away before you become aware! Be awake! Israelmore Ayivor
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There is an easy way of finding the job to be done today, just look around your environment; take note of the places that need cleaning and the places that need decoration; do one at a time! Israelmore Ayivor
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You may have been born on the rubbish damp. But be careful not to believe that the rubbish damp was born in you! Your environment may try to set conditions that may attempt their fingers on crippling you. But you got to stand and say "I thank you Lord that I am rising against and above my limitations Israelmore Ayivor
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When we were arguing on my twenty-fourth birthday, she left the kitchen, came back with a pistol, and fired it at me five times from right across the table. But she missed. It wasn't my life she was after. It was more. She wanted to eat my heart and be lost in the desert with what she'd done, she wanted to fall on her knees and give birth from it, she wanted to hurt me as only a child can be hurt by its mother. Denis Johnson
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It's easy to make a mess when you're not the one who has to clean it up. Criss Jami
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I do not worry about the beauty of the world, neither do I care, but it is all dark and dirty when you are not around. M.F. Moonzajer
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One must be a lotus to emerge from mucky waters clean. Will Advise
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Don't be carried away by beauty, for the faeces also stays in the rectum of ravishing faces, and their private life is not beautiful as their public life...fear beauty! Michael Bassey Johnson
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I don’t much care for all this talk of God washing away all my dirt. I like a bit of grit around the edges. It gives me character and does a passable job of faking depth, from a distance. Thomm Quackenbush
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Women are women: the most beautiful creatures, I love and respect. But hoes and tricks, gets slapped with dicks and that's with no regret. 2Shaddy
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You need to work even if it is a menial or dirty job, because every job is participating in the process of creation. Sunday Adelaja
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I love clean sheets. It's the simultaneous reminiscence of how they got dirtied to begin with, and hopeful anticipation of what stories they will live to tell next time you are standing fatefully in front of the washing machine. Kristie LeVangie
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It's a good thing, right, when an author gets turned on by the dirty scenes they write?! Martha Sweeney
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Negative people will always be there to stain your pure image with their dirty tongues and brushes, but you'll always remain as white as snow, no matter how high the quality of paint they use. Michael Bassey Johnson
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And he who would not languish among men, must learn to drink out of all glasses; and he who would keep clean among men, must know how to wash himself even with dirty water. Friedrich Nietzsche
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-I would die for you- You lie -If I lie, why do I stand here before and beg on my knees to get you back? -Because you're feeling alone -If need your love- You don't need me, you only need a person- And you're that person- No I'm not- But I love you- That what I do M
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Chemistry is the dirty part of physics. Johann Philipp Reis
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Biological harm from electromagnetic interference (EMI) is the dirty secret of the electrical, electronics and wireless radio frequency (RF) radiation industries. Steven Magee
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But this city is a world of its own, a country within a country. People are used to taking the old and making it news; and used, too, to taking the new and making it old. Every glass of water from its taps, it is said, has passed six times through the kidneys of another, and every scrap of its land has been trodden on, fought over, dug up and broken down for centuries. Amanda Craig
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Hornier than a bunny on ecstasy Kyle Adams
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I like bawdy humor. I love bawdy humor, but not dirty humor. Betty White
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The thing that makes 'Dirty Jobs' different is that it's one of the few shows that portrays work in a way that doesn't highlight the drudgery. Instead, it highlights the humor. Mike Rowe
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In Rio de Janeiro, every cop has to make a choice. He either turns dirty, keeps his mouth shut, or goes to war. Jose Padilha
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Patriotism, when it wants to make itself felt in the domain of learning, is a dirty fellow who should be thrown out of doors. Arthur Schopenhauer
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Not when truth is dirty, but when it is shallow, does the enlightened man dislike to wade into its waters. Friedrich Nietzsche
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I have an armchair interest in gardening, but I don't like to get my knees dirty. I don't have a garden. Nick Cave
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I don't really need to be dirty to be funny. Jimmy Kimmel
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The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river. Ross Perot
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If American politics are too dirty for women to take part in, there's something wrong with American politics. Edna Ferber
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I'm a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind. Leelee Sobieski