Quotes From "Equal Rites" By Terry Pratchett

The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to...
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The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. Terry Pratchett
Do you know how wizards like to be buried?
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Do you know how wizards like to be buried?"" Yes! "" Well, how?" Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs." Reluctantly. Terry Pratchett
...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success...
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...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done. Terry Pratchett
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But she’s going to have a lot of problems." T H A T’ S WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT. SO I’M TOLD. I WOULDN’T KNOW, OF COURSE."What about reincarnation?" Death hesitated. Y O U WOULDN’T LIKE IT, he said. TAKE IT FROM ME."I’ve heard that some people do it all the time." Y O U’ V E GOT TO BE TRAINED TO IT. YOU’VE GOT TO START OFF SMALL AND WORK UP. YOU’VE NO IDEA HOW HORRIBLE IT IS TO BE AN ANT."It’s bad?" Y O U WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT. AND WITH YOUR KARMA AN ANT IS TOO MUCH TO EXPECT. Terry Pratchett
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It was long after midnight and the stars looked damp and chilly; the air was full of the busy silence of the night, which is created by hundreds of small furry things treading very carefully in the hope of finding dinner while avoiding being the main course. Terry Pratchett
Red sky at night, the city's alight.
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Red sky at night, the city's alight. Terry Pratchett
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I saved a man's life once, ' said Granny. 'Special medicine, twice a day. Boiled water with a bit of berry juice in it. Told him I'd bought it from the dwarves. That's the biggest part of doct'rin, really. Most people'll get over things if they put their minds to it, you just have to give them an interest.' She patted Esk's hand as nicely as possible. 'You're a bit young for this, ' she said, 'but as you grow older you'll find most people don't set foot outside their own heads much. . Terry Pratchett
High magic requires a great clarity of thought, you see,...
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High magic requires a great clarity of thought, you see, and women's talents do not lie in that direction. Their brains tend to overheat. Terry Pratchett
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The living often don’t appreciate how complicated the world looks when you are dead, because while death frees the mind from the straitjacket of three dimensions it also cuts it away from Time, which is only another dimension. So while the cat that rubbed up against his invisible legs was undoubtedly the same cat that he had seen a few minutes before, it was also quite clearly a tiny kitten and a fat, half-blind old moggy and every stage in between. All at once. Since it had started off small it looked like a white, catshaped carrot, a description that will have to do until people invent proper four-dimensional adjectives. . Terry Pratchett
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Granny, " said Esk, in the exasperated and remarkably adult voice children use to berate their wayward elders. "I don't think you quite understand. I don't want to hit the ground. It's never done anything to me. Terry Pratchett
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You mean it's my destiny? she said at last. Granny shrugged. Something like that. Probably. Who knows? Terry Pratchett
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You mean it's my destiny?" she said at last. Granny shrugged. “Something like that. Probably. Who knows? Terry Pratchett
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A witch relied too much on words ever to go back on them. Terry Pratchett
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Everyone knew there were wolves in the mountains, but they seldom came near the village - the modern wolves were the offspring of ancestors that had survived because they had learned that human meat had sharp edges. Terry Pratchett
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Esk felt that bravery was called for, but on a night like this bravery lasted only as long as a candle stayed alight. Terry Pratchett
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She told me that if magic gives people what they want, then not using magic can give them what they need. Terry Pratchett
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There are things so horrible that even the dark is afraid of them. Most people don't know this and this is just as well because the world could not really operate if everyone stayed in bed with the blankets over their head, which is what would happen if people knew what horrors lay a shadow's width away. Terry Pratchett
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It is well known that stone can think, because the whole of electronics is based on that fact, but in some universes men spend ages looking for other intelligences in the sky without once looking under their feet. That is because they've got the time-span all wrong. From stone's point of view the universe is hardly created and mountain ranges are bouncing up and down like organ-stops while continents zip backward and forward in general high spirits, crashing into each other from the sheer joy of momentum and getting their rocks off. It is going to be quite some time before stone notices its disfiguring skin disease and starts to scratch, which is just as well. . Terry Pratchett
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She’d struck Esk once before — the blow a baby gets to introduce it to the world and give it a rough idea of what to expect from life. Terry Pratchett
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He had the kind of real deep tan that rich people spent ages trying to achieve with expensive holidays and bits of tinfoil, when really all you need to do to obtain one is work your arse off in the open air everyday. Terry Pratchett
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I'm not a lady, I'm a witch. Terry Pratchett
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Million-to-one chances...crop up nine times out of ten. Terry Pratchett
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I saved a man's life once, " said Granny. "Special medicine, twice a day. Boiled water with a bit of berry juice in it. Told him I'd bought it from the dwarves. That's the biggest part of doct'rin, really. Most people'll get over most things if they put their minds to it, you just have to give them an interest. Terry Pratchett