Have you ever suffered a sharp disappointment or a painful loss and found yourself looking for someone to blame? Have you, for example, ever been nasty to a store clerk when you were really upset about your job? Most people have an impulse to dump bad feelings on some undeserving person, as a way to relieve - temporarily–sadness or frustration. Certain days you may know that you just have to keep an eye on yourself so as not to bite someone’s head off. The abusive man doesn’t bother to keep an eye on himself, however. In fact, he considers himself entitled to use his partner as a kind of human garbage dump where he can litter the ordinary pains and frustrations that life brings us. She is always an available target, she is easy to blame – since no partner is perfect–and she can’t prevent him from dumping because he will get even worse if she tries. His excuse when he jettisons his distresses on to her is that his life is unusually painful–an unacceptable rationalization even if it were true, which it generally isn’t. Lundy Bancroft
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 - Unknown
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More Quotes By Lundy Bancroft
  1. The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.
  2. Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
  3. He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
  4. He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
  5. It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
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