1
Of course I believe in hell. I have three brothers.Lois Greiman
2
Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops.Lois Greiman
3
What if there's no such thing as PMS, and this is just my personality?Lois Greiman
4
You don't know many friends you have till you buy a big-ass house on the beach.Lois Greiman
5
You guys gotta get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father.Lois Greiman
6
Taxes for people with too much damned time on their hands.Lois Greiman
7
Expect stupid. It's everywhere.Lois Greiman
8
The trouble with insanity is it can flare up at the most inconvenient moments.Lois Greiman
9
If men were necessary in the procreation process, they'd have gone the way of the dodo bird long ago.Lois Greiman
10
I'd love to go out with you, but I'd hate to deprive some village of its idiot.Lois Greiman
11
A person without regrets is called a corpse.Lois Greiman
12
Sometimes it's nice to have a man around the house. But a dog will clean the dishes.Lois Greiman
13
False hope is better than no hope at all.Lois Greiman
14
All's well so long-as you don't get shot in the hind end with a twenty gauge.Lois Greiman
15
I'm just an everyday kind of hero. If the everyday kind saves babies from burning buildings and looks hotter than hell in bunker gear.Lois Greiman
16
A woman needs a man like a tuba needs a cucumber.Lois Greiman
17
There are 2 kinds of people in the world. Those who enjoy a nice salami and those who have no souls.Lois Greiman
18
A wedding is no way to begin a marriage.Lois Greiman
19
When men age they're called sophisticated. When women age they ain't called at all.Lois Greiman
20
If you don't scare the neighbors while copulating, I'm afraid you're doing something terribly wrong.Lois Greiman
21
Apparently it takes, like, forty-seven muscles to frown. Flippin' the bird' s a hell of a lot easier.Lois Greiman
22
Women have to be in the mood for sex. Men have to be breathing.Lois Greiman
23
Love is like skydiving without a parachute.Lois Greiman