9 Quotes & Sayings By Merrill Markoe

Merrill Markoe is one of the most widely read humorists in the country. She has written for The New Yorker, Mad, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and 60 Minutes. She has also written four books of her own, including The Dog Who Walked Human, which was a finalist for the National Book Award. Markoe spent her early years in Washington DC and Virginia before moving to New York City in 1990.

1
I always hated those classic kid movies like Old Yeller or The Yearling where the beloved pet dies. What would be so wrong with having those damn kids learn their lessons about mortality from watching Grandpa kick? Then at least the dog would be around to comfort them. Merrill Markoe
2
Maybe this is kind of cliche, but animals, well, dogs, are what I do for a living. One reason I like spending time with them so much is they seem to think people are really good. They live with us, and obey our rules, most of which make no sense to them. And the main reason they do it is because they like us. When I watch them, sometimes I'm so blow away by how enthusiastic they are about everything we do that I have to go out and buy them something squeaky or chewy. Just because I love proving to them that it's not a mistake to see the world as a great benevolent place. I hope one day to react to something with as much pure ecstasy as I see in Chuck's face every time I throw the ball. Sometimes he looks so happy, it reminds me of the way blind people smile way too big because they can't see themselves. And if none of this links to anything in you, well.. I think you don't know who I am. . Merrill Markoe
3
I have a very hard time getting to rage. I always assume that maybe I've done something wrong and then forgotten about it. Merrill Markoe
4
I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see a wistful sadness and existential angst, when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies. Merrill Markoe
5
At least watching dirty movies can be kind of fascinating if they aren't too horribly strange. And even the horribly strange ones are still more interesting than televised sports. Merrill Markoe
6
I learned to cope with my needs for attention by creating my own private personal rituals to make myself feel special. Merrill Markoe
7
It's just like magic. When you live by yourself all your annoying habits are gone! Merrill Markoe
8
Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get plenty from that. Then there are some of us who, early on, see that that doesn't work. So we joke about it. Merrill Markoe