1
HARV, can you help at all here?” I asked, spinning downward.“ I am writing your obituary. Well, not so much writing it as updating it, ” HARV told me. If I lived, I was going to kill HARV.John Zakour
2
HARV appeared in front of me, arms crossed, head tilted. “You really should read your e-mails from Randy more carefully, ” he lectured.“ I skim them, ” I protested.“ Well, if you skimmed them more carefully you would know that prolonged exposure to stealth mode may lead to side effects.”“ I can handle .”“Impotence.” HARV smiled.“ Oh, ” I said.“ Randy hasn’t really tested it on humans. It’s extra tough to get volunteers for those types of experiments, ” HARV said. “Though he has computer simulated it and the results tend to support this conclusion.”“ Let’s try to limit our use of stealth mode from now on, ” I said.John Zakour
3
Walking into Nova Hollywood, I remembered why I didn’t come here more often. I like a good slice of cheese as much as the next guy, but this place would be too cheesy for a giant mutant rat who had been starving for a week.John Zakour
4
My number one fear is heights. Well, not so much the heights but the falling from heights. Actually the falling isn’t that bad (I have a strong heart), it’s the sudden stops that are painful. Believe me – I experienced it once.John Zakour
5
Thing is, I am not a big fan of hovers. I firmly believe that if man was meant to fly we’d have feathers, rubber bones, or better insurance coverage.John Zakour
6
So, what you’re basically telling me is death is boring but no worse than hanging out with family.John Zakour
7
Twoa said, obviously still in my brain. "It was my pheromones, " she said defensively. I looked up at her; she was sniffing herself. She looked down at me. "Okay, maybe it wasn’t ALL the pheromones, " she admitted. "Nobody makes a good deodorant for superheroes.John Zakour
8
I told you it was easy, ” HARV said.“ True, but you say that about everything.”“ That's because everything is easy for me.”“ Everything but humility.”“ No, that's easy, too. I just choose not to practice it.John Zakour
9
Don't worry, boss, ” HARV said. “I get the feeling that this is only the tip of the iceberg of complications.”“ H A R V, you’re a machine. You don’t get feelings.”“ Would it make you feel better if I said I've done a numerical analysis on the probabilities and the results are skewed toward you having more problems with this case?John Zakour
10
How bad is it?”“ The story is only just now being reported, but let's put it this way, ” HARV said. “The bag is now clearly catless, and there’s a very foul odor coming from the fan.John Zakour
11
Stupid Ape: I had to quantify this with the word “stupid” so as not to offend the ape community. Large of limb, impotent of intellect, he was the kind of guy who lettered in leg-breaking at thug school but flunked the written exam because he didn't know which end of the e-pencil to use.John Zakour
12
No thanks, ” I answered, “I never take rides from strangers, thugs who've tried to kill me or people with poor personal hygiene. Congratulations, by the way, for being the first person to qualify in all three categories.John Zakour
13
Yeah, but will it hurt?”’ I asked.“ This is science, Zach, ” Randy said, reassuringly, as he tilted my head back and lowered the lens to my eye. “Of course it will hurt.John Zakour
14
‘Foo Kyu’ is just a very unfortunate cultural coincidence."" Just think about his poor son, ‘Foo Kyu Two.’John Zakour
15
I smiled, reached into my pockets and pulled out a pair of ultrapowerful earplugs, the kind that are standard issue for skyway construction workers, artillery soldiers, and roadies for the thirty-five most popular teen boy bands.John Zakour
16
I focused the power from my armor into my leg and kicked the door in. The metal and plastic fibers splintered and the hinges ripped free from the wall.“ By the way, boss, ” HARV said. “I believe that the door was unlocked.John Zakour
17
You bastard, stop that whistling and fight me like a man!John Zakour
18
Great Gates almighty, ” HARV said inside my brain. “I go off-line for a few nanos and the whole world goes to DOS.John Zakour
19
As a matter of fact, Ona spent more credits on the window shades alone than you will make in your entire lifetime and that’s if you live to be 185.”“And that’s meant to make me feel better?” I said.“ No, that is meant to inform you. I am your computer not your nanny.John Zakour
20
Carol, I thought you didn't liked playing with the minds of normal people.”“ Yes, but the press don't count as normal.”“ She’s got you there, ” HARV added.John Zakour
21
I can tell you that she's not breathing, ” he said. “She has no heartbeat and all organ function and brain activity have stopped. Also her body temperature is now at seventy-three degrees.”“ So you’re saying that she’s dead, ” I said.“ Well, I can't prove it, but, yes, I am leaning that way.John Zakour
22
W turned on his heel and began walking toward the door at the far wall. And by walking I mean, of course, not moving at all, at least not to the naked eye, because his strides could only be measured in micrometers. His creaky legs made barely the tiniest of forward steps, so he’d taken four strides before I noticed any lateral movement at all.“ I'll be right back.”“ Geologically speaking, of course, ” HARV said.John Zakour
23
Forget it, ” I said. “Opie could be bloodthirsty, rabid, radioactive, and selling life insurance and he’d still be preferable to listening to the two of you.John Zakour