119 Quotes & Sayings By Jasper Fforde

Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one. Jasper Fforde

If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution. Jasper Fforde

Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world. Jasper Fforde

I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind. Jasper Fforde

Bowden Cable is the sort of honest and dependable operative that is the backbone of SpecOps. They never win commendations or medalsand the public has no knowledge of them at all. They are all worth ten of people like me. Jasper Fforde

Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea. Jasper Fforde

I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years, " she announced with some small sense of achievement. "I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade. Jasper Fforde

How about this, ' I said. 'We modify our plans with regard to ongoing facts as they become known to us, then remodify them as the situation unfolds. 'You mean make it all up as we go along?' asked Perkins.'Right. Jasper Fforde

When she turned I could see her face was plain and outwardly unremarkable, yet possessing of a bearing that showed inner strength and resolve. I stared at her intently with a mixture of feelings. I had realised not long ago that I was no beauty, and even at the age of nine had seen how the more attractive children gained favour more easily. But here in that young woman I could see how those principles could be inverted. I felt myself stand more upright and clench my jaw in subconscious mimicry of her pose . Jasper Fforde

Without unscrambled eggs, there was no time travel, no more depredation of the Now, and we could look to a brighter future of long-term thought--and more reading. Jasper Fforde

History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times. Jasper Fforde

Now and again. Good residency is about having the power to ask someone to do something, but not necessarily exercising it. Jasper Fforde

Literature is claimed to be a mirror of the world, ” I said, “but the Outlanders are fooling themselves. The BookWorld is as orderly as people in the RealWorld *hope* their own world to be–it isn’t a mirror, it’s an aspiration. Jasper Fforde

So you're going to have to ask yourselves on simple question: Which one of us is speaking now? Jasper Fforde

I'm sure it's not all hot buttered crumpets out there in the breathing world of asphalt and heartbeats. Jasper Fforde

The very possibility of death focuses the mind wonderfully. Jasper Fforde

Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere. Jasper Fforde

Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captures the essence of the human spirit. Story, in all its forms–of life, of love, of knowledge–has traced the upward surge of mankind. And story, you mark my words, will be with the last human to draw breath. Jasper Fforde

Chromatacia…society…ruled by a colortocracy…social hierarchy based upon one's limited color perception, society is dominated by color. In this world, you are what you can see. Jasper Fforde

Those that can be troubled to muse upon the meaning of life are general disappointed when they figure it out. Jasper Fforde

That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd. Jasper Fforde

And we kissed again. It was a warm, indescribably lovely feeling. But it was more than just physical. It was a dialogue between two young people with high ideals and a Big Plan. It was about belonging, secrets, partnership, commitment. Jasper Fforde

Before, I suspected I might not amount to anything, and now I now I won't, so at least it takes away the wearisome burden of delusive hope Jasper Fforde

Soothsayers are like that. They see many futures but never their own. Jasper Fforde

There are two schools of thought about the resilience of time. The first is that time is highly volatile, with every small event altering the possible outcome of the earth's future. The other view is that time is rigid, and no matter how hard you try, it will always spring back toward a determined present. Myself, I do not worry about such trivialities. I simply sell ties to anyone who wants to buy one.. Jasper Fforde

The sky was like ebony and the only illumination was the harsh white light of the central streetlamp, which cast shadows so hard it seemed you might cut yourself on them. Jasper Fforde

…although her mouth uttered fond words, her eyes spoke only venom. Jasper Fforde

She had large, questioning eyes that seemed to draw me in and a sense of quiet outrage that simmered just beneath the surface. More than anything, within her features, there was a streak of wild quirkiness that made her dazzlingly attractive. Jasper Fforde

For myself, I favored the abstract. I collected not just obsolete terms and words, but ideas. Jasper Fforde

Another one of your quippy japes? Jasper Fforde

Rouge of my heart, intertwined with double-hued destiny, Thread of my thoughts, constant and rubicund legacy, Filament of my future, endeared unto my expectation, Cord of my emotion, seared with eternal elation. Jasper Fforde

7. 3. 12. 31. 208: Reckless disrespect of the lightless hours will not be tolerated. Jasper Fforde

People don’t change just because you know more about them. Jasper Fforde

Though his death would not fill me with any sense of sadness, I would probably feel the loss. Even enemies are part of one. Jasper Fforde

Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations. Jasper Fforde

Love and magic are like oil and water--they just don't mix. Jasper Fforde

Magic is the fifth fundamental force and is even more mysterious than gravity, which is really saying something. Jasper Fforde

But that was what research and development were like. Full of semi-triumphs and perplexing unforeseen consequences like the whole violent hiccuping thing when conjuring up fire - or the propensity for fillings to fall out of bystanders' teeth when attempting to tease a rainstorm out of a cloud. Jasper Fforde

I liked him, but since his particular field of interest was Remote Suggestion--the skill of projecting thoughts into people's heads from a distance-- I didn't know whether I actually liked him or he was just suggesting I like him, which was both creepy and unethical. In fact, the whole Remote Suggestion or "seeding" idea had been banned once it was discovered to be the key ingredient in promoting talent less boy bands, which had until then been something of a mystery. Jasper Fforde

Magic swirls about us like an invisible fog of energy that can be tapped by those gifted enough, using a variety of techniques that center on layered spelling, mumbled incantations, and a burst of concentrated thought channeled through the index fingers. The technical name for this energy is "variable electro-gravitational mutable subatomic force, " which doesn't mean anything at all--confused scientists just gave it an important-sounding name so as not to lose face. The usual term is "wizidrical energy, " or simply "the crackle. Jasper Fforde

Books" - Snell smiled - "are a kind of magic. Jasper Fforde

The best plans are always the simplest. Jasper Fforde

PDR: Persons of Dubious Reality; refugees from the collective consciousness. Uninvited visitors who have fallen through the grating that divides the real, from the written. They arrive with their actions hardwired due to their repetitious existence and the older and more basic they are, the more rigidly they stick to them. Characters from cautionary tales are particularly mindless; they do what they do because it's what they've always done. And it's our job to stop them. Jasper Fforde

The only way to write is to write. Writers write. And when they’ve written, they write some more. Jasper Fforde

True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good--and we all know how rare that is... Jasper Fforde

The best reason for committing loathsome and detestable acts--and let's face it, I am considered something of an expert in this field--is purely for their own sake. Monetary gain is all very well, but it dilutes the taste of wickedness to a lower level that is obtainable by anyone with an overdeveloped sense of avarice. True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good--and we all know how rare that is.. Jasper Fforde

I don't need you to agree with me, " she said quietly." I'll go away happy with a little bit of doubt. Doubt is good. It's an emotion we can build on. Perhaps if we feed it with curiosity it will blossom into something useful, like suspicion - and action. Jasper Fforde

Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them. Jasper Fforde

Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech. Jasper Fforde

I think Wordsworth was as surprised to see me as I was him. It can't be usual to go to your favorite memory only to find someone already there, admiring the view ahead of you. Jasper Fforde

Prejudice is a product of ignorance that hides behind barriers of tradition. Jasper Fforde

I'm beginning to think you're the sort of person who does a great deal with very little." He meant a liar. Jasper Fforde

The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable. Jasper Fforde

In fact, the room was so quiet you might have heard a drop of paint splash. Jasper Fforde

I was born on a Thursday, hence the name. My brother was born on a Monday and they called him Anton--go figure. My mother was called Wednesday, but was born on a Sunday--I don't know why--and my father had no name at all--his identity and existence had been scrubbed by the ChronoGuard after he went rogue. To all intents and purposes he didn't exist at all. It didn't matter. He was always Dad to me.. Jasper Fforde

Keep your head down, Edward. Those that see too much quickly find themselves seeing nothing at all. Jasper Fforde

Funding for the Special Operations Network comes directly from the government. Most work is centralized, but all of the SpecOps divisions have local representatives to keep a watchful eye on any provincial problems. They are administered by local commanders, who liaise with the national offices for information exchange, guidance and policy decisions. Like any other big government department, it looks good on paper but is an utter shambles. Petty infighting and political agendas, arrogance and sheer bloody-mindedness almost guarantees that the left hand doesn't know what the right is doing. Jasper Fforde

Try to be pleasant to one another, get plenty of fresh air, read a good book now and then, depose your government when it suspends the free press, try to use the mechanism of the state to adjudicate fairly and employ diplomatic means wherever possible to avoid armed conflict. Jasper Fforde

Believe me, you're going to have to do much worse than this--in the pursuit of freedom, the innocents will suffer--and at your hands. Jasper Fforde

There's more to good or bad than what's written in the Rulebook. Jasper Fforde

No one would argue that we owe a debt of gratitude to the Goliath Corporation. They helped us to rebuild after the Second War and it should not be forgotten. Of late, however, it seems as though the Goliath Corporation is falling far short of its promises of fairness and altruism. We are finding ourselves now in the unfortunate position of continuing to pay back a debt that has long since been paid--with interest.. . Jasper Fforde

Never underestimate the capacity for romance, no matter what the circumstances. Jasper Fforde

You're just a huge romantic at heart, aren't you?"" If there's cash involved, I'm anything you want me to be. Jasper Fforde

Inviting a goblin to cross your threshold was a recipe for disaster, and certainly worse than doing the same with a vampire. With the latter all you got was a nasty bite, but the company, the extraordinarily good sex and the funny stories more than made up for it–apparently. Jasper Fforde

All of everything came into existence simply because it wanted to be. The big bang wasn't so much a big bang as a hasty dash toward an opportunity to trade nothingness for somethingness. The main contributory factor to the entire universe was a momentary effect in need of a cause. Jasper Fforde

The Special Operations Network was instigated to handle policing duties considered either too unusual or too specialized to be tackled by the regular force. There were thirty departments in all, starting at the more mundane Neighborly Disputes (SO-30) and going onto Literary Detectives (SO-27) and Art Crime (SO-24). Anything below SO-20 was restricted information, although it was common knowledge that the ChronoGuard was SO-12 and Antiterrorism SO-9. It is rumored that SO-1 was the department that polices the SpecOps themselves. Quite what the others do is anyone's guess. What is known is that the individual operatives themselves are mostly ex-military or ex-police and slightly unbalanced. 'If you want to be a SpecOp, ' the saying goes, 'act kinda weird.. . Jasper Fforde

You have many fine qualities that I admire. But you are out of time. You should have been born a century ago, when values such as yours meant something. Jasper Fforde

I am boring, but I'm ok with it. I'm the anchor, the shoulder... I'm an average man...with a truly extraordinary wife Jasper Fforde

The course of true love rarely runs smooth. Jasper Fforde

Outside Styx's apartment was not the first time Rochester and I had met, or would it be the last. We first encountered each other at Haworth House in Yorkshire when my mind was young and the barrier between reality and make-believe had not yet hardened into the shell that cocoons us in adult life. The barrier was soft, pliable and, for a moment, thanks to the kindness of a stranger and the power of a good storytelling voice, I made the short journey--and returned. Jasper Fforde

Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous. Jasper Fforde

Said by Colin the dragon:" It's somewhat bizarre to learn that many of you (humans)think that other humans are somehow different enough to be hated and killed, when in reality you're all all tiresomely similiar in outlook, needs and motivation, and differ only by peculiar habits, generally shaped by geographical circumstance. Jasper Fforde

You want me to spy on a National Colour operative?'' Wow, ' she said, 'you got it. I thought I was going to have to explain that one for a lot longer. Jasper Fforde

I got mixed up with some oddness in my youth, and the long and short of it is that I can't shuffle off this mortal coil until I have read the ten most boring classics. Jasper Fforde

Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception. Jasper Fforde

There is no point in expending good money on the pursuit of an engine that can power aircraft without propellers. What is wrong with airships anyway? They have borne mankind aloft for over a hundred relatively accident-free years and I see no reason to impugn their popularity... Jasper Fforde

Pretty?' I said, swivelling in the driver's seat to face him, 'you want to ask me out because I'm pretty?' 'Is there a problem with asking you out because you're pretty?' 'I think you blew it, ' said Tiger with a grin. 'You should be asking her out because she's smart, witty, mature beyond her years and every moment in her company makes you want to be a better person - pretty of face should be at the bottom of the list.' 'Oh, blast, ' said Perkins despondently. 'It should, shouldn't it? . Jasper Fforde

Those that see too much quickly find themselves seeing nothing at all. Jasper Fforde

Curiosity is a descending stair…that leads to only who-knows-where. Jasper Fforde

Sometimes I wonder if the human race isn't collectively as mad as a sack of door knobs. Jasper Fforde

My only companion from the outside world during nineteen years of isolation has been my personal hatred of Thursday Next. It's kind of like the old me suddenly taking over, and I promised myself that this was how I would act if I ever saw you.' 'I have the same thing, but with Tom Stoppard, ' I said. 'You'd kill Tom Stoppard?' 'Not at all. I promised myself many years ago that I would throw myself at his feet and scream "I'm not worthy! " if I ever met him, so now if we're ever at the same party or something, I have to be at pains to avoid him. It would be undignified, you see–for him and for me. Jasper Fforde

Honor is kind of what you get when you weaponize manners Jasper Fforde

Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isn"t what it used to be? Jasper Fforde