1
It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever, " he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?Terry Pratchett
2
Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.Terry Pratchett
3
Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight!Terry Pratchett
4
History was full of the bones of good men who'd followed bad orders in the hope that they could soften the blow. Oh, yes, there were worse things they could do, but most of them began right where they started following bad orders.Terry Pratchett
5
Where actual evidence had been a bit sparse he had, in the best traditions of the keen ethnic historian, inferred from revealed self-evident wisdom* *Made it upand extrapolated from associated sources** **had read a lot of stuff that other people had made up, too.Terry Pratchett
6
Is somethin' wrong?" said Daft Wullie."Aye! " snapped the kelda. "Rob willnae tak' a drink o' Special Sheep Liniment! "Wullie's little face screwed up in instant grief." Ach, the Big Man's deid! " he sobbed. "Oh waily waily waily - "Will ye hush yer gob, ye big mudlin! " shouted Rob Anybody, standing up. "I am no' deid! I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man cannae feel the chilly winds o' Fate lashing aroound his nethers wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?.Terry Pratchett
7
His granny taught him to read, see. I reckon it overheated his mind.Terry Pratchett
8
The world rides through space on the back of a turtle. This is one of the great ancient world myths, found wherever men and turtles were gathered together; the four elephants were an Indo-European sophistication. The idea has been lying in the lumber rooms of legend for centuries. All I had to do was grab it and run away before the alarms went off. There are no maps. You can't map a sense of humour. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs.Terry Pratchett
9
Then Tak looked upon the stone and it was trying to come alive, and Tak smiled, and wrote All things strive. And for the service the stone had given, he fashioned it into the first Troll, and delighted in the life that came unbidden.Terry Pratchett
10
I just think the world ought to be more sort of organized.'' That's just fantasy, ' said Twoflower.'I know. That's the trouble.' Rincewind sighed again.Terry Pratchett
11
It's rude to stare, " said the troll. Its mouth opened with a little crest of foam, and shut again in exactly the same way that water closes over a stone. "Is it? Why?" asked Rincewind. How does he hold himself together, his mind screamed at him. Why doesn't he spill?Terry Pratchett
12
Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.Terry Pratchett
13
Tiffany thought of the little spot in the woods where Granny Weatherwax lay. Remembered. And knew that You had been right. Granny Weatherwax was indeed here. And there. She was, in fact, and always would be, everywhere.Terry Pratchett
14
Tiffany found her mind filling up with an invisible gray mist, and in that thought there was nothing but grief. She could feel herself trying to push back time, but even the best witchcraft could not do that.Terry Pratchett
15
On the Kite, the situation was being 'workshopped'. This is the means by which people who don't know anything get together to pool their ignorance.Terry Pratchett
16
Silverfish looked down." Oh. Are you a dwarf?" Cuddy gave him a blank stare." Are you a giant?" He said." Me? Of course not! "" Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes.Terry Pratchett
17
Ye mustn't be afraid to ask for help. Pride is a good thing, my girl, but it will kill you in time.Terry Pratchett
18
Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because–what with trolls and dwarfs and so on–speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.Terry Pratchett
19
There was a hell for blasphemers. There was a hell for disputers of rightful authority. There were a number of hells for liars. There was probably a hell for little boys who wished their grandmothers were dead. There were more than enough hells to go around.Terry Pratchett
20
Commander, I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you.”“ Sir?”“ It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority.”“ Sir?”“ That’s practically zen.Terry Pratchett
21
Of course, to be fair, that was a parent's job. The world was so full of sharp bends that if they didn't put a few twists in you, you wouldn't stand a chance of fitting in.Terry Pratchett
22
Captain Vimes believed in logic, in much the same way as a man in a desert believed in ice -- i.e., it was something he really needed, but this just wasn't the world for it.Terry Pratchett
23
It's like chess, you know. The Queen saves the King.Terry Pratchett
24
The smug mask of virtue triumphant could be almost as horrible as the face of wickedness revealed.Terry Pratchett
25
For a witch stands on the very edge of everything, between the light and the dark, between life and death, making choices, making decisions so that others may pretend no decisions have even been needed. Sometimes they need to help some poor soul through the final hours, help them to find the door, not to get lost in the dark.Terry Pratchett
26
All he had was nothing, but that was something, and now it had been taken away.Terry Pratchett