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Reality continues to ruin my life.Bill Watterson
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I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.Bill Watterson
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When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.Bill Watterson
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Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.Bill Watterson
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I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.Bill Watterson
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Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?" Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yetBill Watterson
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You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's! ! !Bill Watterson
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I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.Bill Watterson
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Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.Bill Watterson
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I'm a misunderstood genius."" What's misunderstood?"" Nobody thinks I'm a genius.Bill Watterson