Quotes From "The Slippery Slope" By Lemony Snicket

For Beatrice, when we first met, I was lonely, and you were pretty. Now I am pretty lonely. Lemony Snicket

A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poem called "The Road Less Traveled", describing a journey he took through the woods along a path most travelers never used. The poet found that the road less traveled was peaceful but quite lonely, and he was probably a bit nervous as he went along, because if anything happened on the road less traveled, the other travelers would be on the road more frequently traveled and so couldn't hear him as he cried for help. Sure enough, that poet is dead. Lemony Snicket

I'm jealous of your hooks, " Kevin replied. "Having no hands is better than having two equally strong hands." Don't be ridiculous, " one of the white-faced women replied. "Having a white face is worse than both of your situations." But you have a white face because you put makeup on, " Colette said, as Sunny climbed back out of the trunk and knelt down in the snow. "You're putting powder on your face right now. . Lemony Snicket

There was a bag of coffee beans beneath a harpoon gun and a frozen hunk of spinach, but there was no way to grind the beans into tiny pieces to make coffee. Near a picnic basket and a large bag of mushrooms was a jug of orange juice, but it had been close to one of the bullet holes in the trunk, and so had frozen completely solid in the cold. And after Sunny moved aside three chunks of cold cheese, a large can of water chestnuts, and an eggplant as big as herself, she finally found a small jar of boysenberry jam, and a loaf of bread she could use to make toast, although it was so cold it felt more like a log than a breakfast ingredient. Lemony Snicket

It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier. Lemony Snicket

I think everyone's parents have secrets. You just have to know where to look for them. Lemony Snicket

The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things Lemony Snicket

Every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, "The world is quiet here, " as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good. Lemony Snicket

It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don't stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much. Lemony Snicket