1
Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.Lemony Snicket
2
Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.Lemony Snicket
3
I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.Lemony Snicket
4
Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter.Lemony Snicket
5
In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation.Lemony Snicket
6
For Beatrice, when we first met, I was lonely, and you were pretty. Now I am pretty lonely.Lemony Snicket
7
People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.Lemony Snicket
8
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.Lemony Snicket
9
Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.Lemony Snicket
10
Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.Lemony Snicket
11
I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.Lemony Snicket
12
If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.Lemony Snicket
13
If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'.Lemony Snicket
14
If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed, " but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!Lemony Snicket
15
A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.Lemony Snicket
16
For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears, ' for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house.' The moral of 'Snow White' is 'Never eat apples.' The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.Lemony Snicket
17
This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.Lemony Snicket
18
They're book addicts.Lemony Snicket
19
Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.Lemony Snicket
20
Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding somethingLemony Snicket