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Reality continues to ruin my life.Bill Watterson
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Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?Bill Watterson
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I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.Bill Watterson
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Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I'm cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.Bill Watterson
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I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.- CalvinBill Watterson
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I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.Bill Watterson
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I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.Bill Watterson
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Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?Bill Watterson
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Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.Bill Watterson
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I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.Bill Watterson