1
I had a blind date with a dentist – and he told me to come back in six months.Joan Rivers
2
People say it is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made.Joan Rivers
3
I said, "Is there! " I told him there is a Mafia school where they teach them math – if Johnny has ten fingers and they cut off two, how many does he have left?Joan Rivers
4
Somehow, some way, every person in the arts has to find an accommodation with disappointment and embarrassment. They are the pollen in the air we breathe.Joan Rivers
5
It gathers emotionally inside you, in a strange way a by-product of struggle, of a willingness to do anything, try anything, expose yourself to anything – staying in motion because sooner or later those ripples will cause change.Joan Rivers
6
Laughing made me feel safe. I was not going to be enveloped by the seediness that coated this world like dust.Joan Rivers
7
When you begin to losing your audience, do not get loud; get quiet, make them find you and come back to you.Joan Rivers
8
I am driven. Being driven is my energy source. It is my fun.… I believe that where there is action, there is movement, and those ripples will eventually produce something positive.Joan Rivers
9
The revelation that personal truth can be the foundation of comedy, that outrageousness can be cleansing and healthy…Joan Rivers
10
The act of creation fascinates me. You can only sit with blank page and wait. You cannot press a button, cannot program it.Joan Rivers
11
Everything comes out of smoke and mist and nothingness, a mystical happening…Joan Rivers
12
Liked" was the kiss of death. "Loved" or "hated" interested him. At least the performer had aroused emotion.Joan Rivers
13
Maybe that is why in my comedy I try and puncture the hypocrisy all around us, why it is almost a crusade with me to strip life down to what really is true.Joan Rivers
14
…but I think comedy is more aggressive than that. It is a medium for revenge. We can deflate and punish the pomposity and the rejection which hurt us. Comedy is power.Joan Rivers
15
…you either do or do not have a comedy mind, whatever that is, maybe a heightened sense of the ridiculous and the absurdity of life… We are all crazy and crazed.Joan Rivers