1
The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can't relate to it. I think most people got into 'cos it gave them something to do on a Sunday, but since all the shops are now open it isn't required as much.Karl Pilkington
2
I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for.Karl Pilkington
3
She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?Karl Pilkington
4
I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.Karl Pilkington
5
I was woken early and had breakfast with the guru. We had some spicy Rice Krispies and a spicy biscuit with some really sweet, milky tea. Not the way I normally like it, but I drank it anyway as I didn’t want to offend him. I suppose that is my heart telling me how to act instead of my head again. My arse may get involved later though.Karl Pilkington
6
It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.Karl Pilkington
7
I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.Karl Pilkington
8
A block of blood should not have the word "cake" after it...they might as well say "shite gateauKarl Pilkington
9
I told her that I can't be doing with the Wonder part of these trips, but she said it should be the icing on the cake.. I've never liked wedding cake due to the amount of icing, but then imagine a wedding cake without it; just a dark, stodgy, horrible dry sponge. The icing covers up the mess, and that's how I feel about most of the Wonders. They use them to get people to visit a place that you probably wouldn't think about visiting. .Karl Pilkington