My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.

Chelsea Handler
About This Quote

In the short story "Date with Destiny" by Elizabeth Peters, Michaela Esterhazy is a young girl from a wealthy family who has been dating a boy from a poor family. When she comes home from a date with him, her father is there. She tells her father that she needed to spend time with a boy from a lower class and that she was going to a party with him. Her father, assuming that they were going to have sex together, calls the police to report her as a child molester.

He also calls the boy's mother to report him as an accomplice to the crime. He goes so far as to tell the police that he will personally take his gun and wait outside of his daughter’s bedroom for her return from the party so he can shoot them both.

Source: My Horizontal Life: A Collection Of Onenight Stands

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  1. There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

  2. Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.

  3. Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving,...

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