I have rage and anger issues. So I get mad about stuff in real life, and then I yell about it onstage, and luckily, something funny ends up coming out. What I'll do is tape-record it, and it will end up coming out even funnier. And I add more punch lines. Lisa Lampanelli
Some Similar Quotes
  1. I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. - Marilyn Monroe
  2. You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth. - William W. Purkey
  3. This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like... - Marilyn Monroe
  4. When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable. - Jess C. Scott
  5. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears." After all this time?"" Always, " said Snape. - J.k. Rowling
More Quotes By Lisa Lampanelli
  1. I was 25 myself once. I also thought I knew everything. I also thought that I could give singers singing advice and comics comedy advice. When you're that age, you know it all, so I understand it. But when you're tired and you don't have...
  2. I got sick of trying everything. I tried every single thing imaginable - diet, exercise. I even bought a house on the health spa property, and I still gained weight.
  3. The thing is, in the dating profiles it says 'spiritual, ' but not with a specific religion. And so I pretty much try to meditate, but I have a very hard time concentrating on things other than me.
  4. I'm way too famous and rich to be on a dating app, but if I get very desperate by the time I'm 60, I'll go on Tinder. Or I'll go on 'Millionaire Matchmaker'; I'll call Patti Stanger.
  5. I have rage and anger issues. So I get mad about stuff in real life, and then I yell about it onstage, and luckily, something funny ends up coming out. What I'll do is tape-record it, and it will end up coming out even funnier....
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