200+ Best Funny Quotes And Sayings

Sometimes the best way to brighten someone’s day is to make them laugh. These funny quotes will make sure you are always ready for a good laugh.

1
I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for? Stephanie Lennox
Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those...
2
Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long. Good things come to those who wait. Jess C. Scott
3
A fit, healthy body–that is the best fashion statement Jess C. Scott
4
I felt like an animal, and animals don’t know sin, do they? Jess C. Scott
5
V-Day…if you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for “your loved one” I think it’s quite stupid. I hate this commercialism. It’s all artificial, and has nothing to do with real love. Jess C. Scott
6
And now, " Eric yelled into his mircophone, "we're going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one's for my girlfriend. We've been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We're gonna be together forever, baby. This one's called 'Bang You Like a Drum. Cassandra Clare
7
Last night I was seriously considering whether I was a bisexual or not but I don’t think so though I’m not sure if I’d like to be and argh I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, if you like a person, you like the person, not their genitals. Jess C. Scott
8
My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism. Jess C. Scott
9
Huh, " Leo said. "Well, if you ever get off this island and want a job, let me know. You're not a total klutz." She smirked. "A job, eh?" Making things in your forge?"" Nah, we could start our own shop, " Leo said, surprising himself. Starting a machine shop had always been one of his dreams, but he'd never told anyone about it. "Leo and Calypso's Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters. Rick Riordan
If you have the woman you love, what more do...
10
If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.
 Unknown
11
Sam came around the side of the car and stopped dead when he saw me. “Oh my God, what is THAT?” I used my thumb and middle finger to flick the multicolored pom-pom on top of my head. “In my language, we call it a HAT. It keeps my ears warm.” “Oh my God, ” Sam said again, and closed the distance between us. He cupped my face in his hands and studied me. “It’s horribly cute.” He kissed me, looked at the hat, and then he kissed me again. I vowed never to lose the pom-pom hat. . Maggie Stiefvater
To find out if she really loved me, I hooked...
12
To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.
 Unknown
13
Whatever happened to the dragon?" I mustered my primmest tone. "He has a name, you know." Adrian pulled back and gave me a curious look. "I didn't know, actually. What'd you decide on?"" Hopper." When Adrian laughed, I added, "Best rabbit ever. He'd be proud to know his name is being passed on."" Yes, I'm sure he would. Did you name the Mustang too?"" I think you mean the Ivashkinator."He stared at me in wonder. "I told you I loved you, right?" Yes, " I assured him. "Many times. Richelle Mead
Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making...
14
Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
 Unknown
My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you...
15
My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health. Cassandra Clare
16
I’m a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up. Dora J. Arod
I make love with a focus and intensity that most...
17
I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep. Unknown
Our love was a two-person game. At least until one...
18
Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.
 Unknown
19
She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn't apply to Calypso. Obviously. Rick Riordan
She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered...
20
She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert. Unknown