When you tell the tale of how another person is from your perspective, you're making him or her into a character, a player in your own life story. This way of knowing does not bring you closer because it is really all about you.

Kira Asatryan
About This Quote

When you tell the tale of how another person is from your perspective, you're making him or her into a character, a player in your own life story. This way of knowing does not bring you closer because it is really all about you. When we think of someone's story, we tend to give them traits that we want to see in ourselves and those traits can be quite limiting. We often believe that those who are close to us are just like us and as such they must have similar likes and dislikes as us as well as similar ways of behaving.

Then, if we do something that they don't like, we feel the need to tell everyone how wrong we were with our actions and we might even say we were wronged by them. Although this may make us feel better and stronger and give us more confidence, it also does a disservice to the person who was wronged and it makes them feel like they were not right to begin with. If you want to know why someone did something or what made them go out with their friends one night instead of coming with us on a day out, ask them what made them do that (not what you think they did).

They will tell their own story and you will get to know their reasons for doing what they did.

Source: Stop Being Lonely: Three Simple Steps To Developing Close Friendships And Deep Relationships

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