8 Quotes & Sayings By Vivian Gornick

Vivian Gornick is the author of Big Girls Don’t Cry, a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award for criticism in 1985. She has won numerous prizes, including the American Book Award for Criticism, the PEN Center USA West prize, the Lamont Poetry Selection, and the Pushcart Prize. Her essays have appeared in The New Yorker, Harper's, The Nation, and The New York Times.

1
My friendship with Leonard began with me invoking the laws of love: the ones that involved the expectancy. "We are one, " I decided shortly after we met. "You are me, and I am you, and it is our obligation to save each other." It took me years for me to realize this sentiment was off the mark. What we are, in fact, is a pair of solitary travelers slogging through the country of our lives, meeting up from time to time at the outer limit to give each other border reports. . Vivian Gornick
Wharton thought no one could have freedom, but James knew...
2
Wharton thought no one could have freedom, but James knew no one wanted freedom. Vivian Gornick
3
I began to realize what everyone in the world knows and routinely forgets: that to be loved sexually is to be loved not for one's actual self but for one's ability to arouse desire in the other... Only the thoughts in one's mind or intuitions of the spirit can attract permanently... Vivian Gornick
4
As I saw myself moving ever farther toward the social margin, nothing healed me of a sore and angry heart like a walk through the city. To see in the street the fifty different ways people struggle to remain human - the variety and inventiveness of survival techniques - was to feel the pressure relieved, the overflow draining off. I felt in my nerve endings the common refusal to go under. That refusal became company. I was never less alone than alone in the crowded street. Here, I found, I could imagine myself. Here, I thought, I am buying time. What a notion: buying time. Vivian Gornick
5
In Edmund Gosse, Agnes Smedley, Geoffrey Wolff, we have a set of memoirists whose work records a steadily changing idea of the emergent self. But for each of them a flash of insight illuminating that idea grew out of the struggle to clarify one's own formative experience; and in each case the strength and beauty of the writing lie in the power of concentration with which this insight is pursued, and made to become the the writer's organizing principle. That principle at work is what makes a memoir literature rather than testament. Vivian Gornick
6
She leans into the memory. She stares. She concentrates. What IS it that's she's looking for, trying to get straight at last? Vivian Gornick
7
Nettie, it quickly developed, had no gift for mothering. Many women have no gift for it. They mimic the recalled gestures and mannerisms of the women they’ve been trained to become and hope for the best. Vivian Gornick