120 Quotes & Sayings By Stephen Chbosky

Stephen Chbosky is the author of "The Perks of Being a Wallflower," the #1 bestselling book that was adapted into a highly anticipated film, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower." Stephen's first novel, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" was published in September 2010 by Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. He was born in Clarksville, Tennessee and grew up in Winchester, Virginia. He received his BA from The College of William & Mary and his MFA from UCLA's MFA Program for Screenwriters. Stephen has written two additional novels titled "Wonder" and "Teacher Man" that are available now for pre-order via Amazon.com Read more

You can find out more about Stephen at stephenchbosky.com.

We accept the love we think we deserve.
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We accept the love we think we deserve. Stephen Chbosky
I would die for you. But I won't live for...
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I would die for you. But I won't live for you. Stephen Chbosky
What about when someone doesn't need a shoulder? What if...
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What about when someone doesn't need a shoulder? What if they need the arms? Stephen Chbosky
I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes...
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I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. Stephen Chbosky
Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.
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Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody. Stephen Chbosky
Please believe that things are good with me, and even...
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Please believe that things are good with me, and even when they're not, they will be soon enough. And i will always believe the same about you. Stephen Chbosky
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I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs. Or us. And I wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report due on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why. . Stephen Chbosky
I just need to know that someone out there listens...
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I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn't try to sleep with someone even if they could have. I need to know these people exist. Stephen Chbosky
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I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't. Stephen Chbosky
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It’s strange how things can change back as suddenly as they changed originally. When one thing happens and suddenly, things are back to normal. Stephen Chbosky
It's much easier to not know things sometimes. Things change...
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It's much easier to not know things sometimes. Things change and friends leave. And life doesn't stop for anybody. Stephen Chbosky
I feel like a big faker because I've been putting...
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I feel like a big faker because I've been putting my life back together, and nobody knows. Stephen Chbosky
So, this is my life. And I want you to...
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So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be. Stephen Chbosky
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I just want you to know that you’re very special… and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has. Stephen Chbosky
I just hope I remember to tell my kids that...
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I just hope I remember to tell my kids that they are as happy as I look in my old photographs. And I hope that they believe me. Stephen Chbosky
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And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't. Stephen Chbosky
I hate you.
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I hate you." I love you." You're a freak, you know that? Everyone says so. They always have." I'm trying not to be. Stephen Chbosky
I feel infinite.
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I feel infinite. Stephen Chbosky
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I sat down and tried to write a story." Ian MacArthur is a wonderful sweet fellow who wears glasses and peers out of them with delight." That was the first sentence. The problem was that I just couldn't think of the next one. After cleaning my room three times, I decided to leave Ian alone for a while because I was starting to get mad at him. Stephen Chbosky
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I was in my bed trying to figure out why sometimes you can wake up and go back to sleep and other times you can't Stephen Chbosky
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As you see the opening get closer, you just can't get fast enough. And finally, just when you think you'll never get there, you see the opening right in front of you. Stephen Chbosky
I'm not saying she was lying to me, but she...
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I'm not saying she was lying to me, but she just acted so different before I got to know her, and if she really isn't like what she was at the beginning, I wish she could have just said so. Stephen Chbosky
But even if we don't have the power to choose...
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But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. Stephen Chbosky
Why do I and everyone I love pick people who...
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Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we're nothing"; - "We accept the love we think we deserve, Stephen Chbosky
There's nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing...
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There's nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons. Stephen Chbosky
The fights are always the same
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The fights are always the same Stephen Chbosky
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My Aunt Helen was my favorite person in the whole world. She was my mom’s sister. She got straight A’s when she was a teenager and she used to give me books to read. My father said that the books were a little too old for me, but I liked them so he just shrugged and let me read. Stephen Chbosky
On Friday night, I was reading my new book, but...
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On Friday night, I was reading my new book, but my brain got tired, so I decided to watch some television instead. Stephen Chbosky
I hate you.' My sister said it different than she...
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I hate you.' My sister said it different than she said it to my dad. She meant it with me. She really did.' I love you, ' was all I could say in return. Stephen Chbosky
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Girls like guys to be a challenge. It gives them some mold to fit in how they act. Like a mom. What would a mom do if she couldn't fuss over you and make you clean your room? And what would you do without her fussing and making you do it? Everyone needs a mom. And a mom knowns this. And it gives her a sense of purpose. You get it? Stephen Chbosky
Sam and Patrick looked at me. And I looked at...
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Sam and Patrick looked at me. And I looked at them. And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that's all you can ever ask from a friend. Stephen Chbosky
If you care about somebody, you should want them to...
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If you care about somebody, you should want them to be happy. Even if you wind up being left out. Stephen Chbosky
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And then he says something like this ... "I would die for you. But I won't live for you." Something like that. I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people. Stephen Chbosky
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To tell you the truth, I've just been avoiding everything. I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs. Or us. And I wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen. Not in a mea way. In a curious way. it's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heart broken that da, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report on top of that. or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why. Especially since I know that if they went to another school, the person who had their heart broken would have had their heart broken by somebody else, so why does it have to be so personal? And if I went to another school, I would never have known Sam or Patrick or Mary Elizabeth or anyone except my family. (Pg 142). Stephen Chbosky
If somebody likes me, I want them to like the...
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If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. Stephen Chbosky
Patrick actually used to be popular before Sam bought him...
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Patrick actually used to be popular before Sam bought him some good music. Stephen Chbosky
Incidentally, I only have one cavity, and as much as...
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Incidentally, I only have one cavity, and as much as my dentist asks me to, I just can't bring myself to floss. Stephen Chbosky
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And when she started becoming a “young lady, ” and no one was allowed to look at her because she thought she was fat. And how she really wasn’t fat. And how she was actually very pretty. And how different her face looked when she realized boys thought she was pretty. And how different her face looked the first time she really liked a boy who was not on a poster on her wall. And how her face looked when she realized she was in love with that boy. I wondered how her face would look when she came out from behind those doors. . Stephen Chbosky
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It's strange because sometimes, I read a book, and I think I am the people in the book. Also, when I write letters, I spend the next two days thinking about what I figured out in my letters. Stephen Chbosky
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And I thought about how many people have loved those songs. And how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs. And how many people enjoyed good times with those songs. And how much those songs really mean. I think it would be great to have written one of those songs. I bet if I wrote one of them, I would be very proud. I hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. I hope they feel it's enough. I really do because they've made me happy. And I'm only one person. . Stephen Chbosky
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Asleep by the SmithsVapour Trail by RideScarborough Fair by Simon & GarfunkelA Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol HarumDear Prudence by the BeatlesGypsy by Suzanne VegaNights in White Satin by the Moody BluesDaydream by Smashing PumpkinsDusk by Genesis (before Phil Collins was even in the band! ) M L K by U2Blackbird by the BeatlesLandslide by Fleetwood MacAsleep by the Smiths (again! )-Charlie's mixtape . Stephen Chbosky
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Everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other Stephen Chbosky
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The family watched It's a Wonderful Life, which is a very beautiful movie and all I could think was why didn't they make a movie about uncle Billy?...Because he was a drunk and fat and lost all that money in the first place. I wanted an angel to come down and show us how uncle Billy's life had meaning Stephen Chbosky
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The two families really don't like each other, except for all us younger cousins because we don't know any better. Stephen Chbosky
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So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try and feel okay about them. Stephen Chbosky
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I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn't try to sleep with people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist. Stephen Chbosky
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It's sweet and everything, but it's like you're not even there sometimes. It's great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when someone doesn't need a shoulder? What if they need the arms or something like that? You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't. You have to do things." "Like what?" I asked. My mouth was dry. "I don't know. Like take their hands when the slow song comes up for a change. Or be the one who asks someone for a date. Or tell people what you need. Or what you want. . Stephen Chbosky
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It was the look on her face when she said it. And how much she meant it. It suddenly made everything seem like it really was. I felt terrible. Just terrible. Stephen Chbosky
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I feel great! I really mean it. I have to remember this for the next time I’m having a terrible week. Have you ever done that? You feel really bad, and then it goes away, and you don’t know why. I try to remind myself when I feel great like this that there will be another terrible week coming someday, so I should store up as many great details as I can, so during the next terrible week, I can remember those details and believe that I’ll feel great again. It doesn’t work a lot, but I think it’s very important to try. Stephen Chbosky
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You see things You keep quiet about them. You understand. Stephen Chbosky
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I don't want to be just another thing mary elizabeth is in charge of Stephen Chbosky
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And things were back to normal except we were just friends. Stephen Chbosky
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Things change and friends leave and life doesn't stop for anybody Stephen Chbosky
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And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that's all you can ever ask from a friend. Stephen Chbosky
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I don't remember where we were walking to or where we were walking from. I don't even remember the season. I just remember walking between them and feeling for the first time that I belonged somewhere. Stephen Chbosky
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On that piece of white paper, Sam wrote, "Write about me sometime." And I typed back to her, standing right there in her bedroom. I just typed. "I will." And I felt good that those were the first two words that I ever typed on my new old typewriter that Sam gave me. We just sat there quiet for a moment, and she smiled. And I moved to the typewriter again, and I wrote something. "I love you too. Stephen Chbosky
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I know we didn't accomplish anything, but it felt great to sit there and talk about our place in things. Stephen Chbosky
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I don´t want to be somebody´s crush, if somebody likes me, i want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. Stephen Chbosky
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She also keeps talking about the Billie Holiday record she bought for me. And she says she wants to expose me to all these great things. And to tell you the truth, I don't really want to be exposed to all these great things if it means that I'll have to listen to Mary Elizabeth talk about all the great things she exposed me to all the time. It almost feels like of the three things involved: Mary Elizabeth, me, and the great things, only the first one matters to Mary Elizabeth. I don't understand that. I would give someone a record so they could love the record, not so they would always know that I gave it to them. Stephen Chbosky
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My sister said Mary Elizabeth is suffering from low self-esteem, but I told her that she said the same thing about Sam back in November when she started dating Craig, and Sam is completely different. Everything can't be low self-esteem, can it? My sister tried to clarify things. She said that by introducing me to all these great things, Mary Elizabeth gained a "superior position" that she wouldn't need if she was confident about herself. She also said that people who try to control situations all the time are afraid that if they don't, nothing will work out the way they want. . Stephen Chbosky
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That nice feeling when you look in the mirror, and your hair's right for the first time in your life? I don;t think we should base so much on weight, muscles, and a good hair day, but when it happens, it's nice. It really is. Stephen Chbosky
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She even told me how to treat a girl on a date, which was very interesting. She said that with a girl like Mary Elizabeth, you shouldn't tell her she looks pretty. You should tell her how nice her outfit is because her outfit is her choice whereas her face isn't. She also said that with some girls, you should do things like open car doors and buy flowers, but with Mary Elizabeth (especially since it's the Sadie Hawkins' dance), I shouldn't do that. So, I asked her what I should do, and she said that I should ask a lot of questions and not mind when Mary Elizabeth doesn't stop talking. I said that it didn't sound very democratic, but Sam said she does it all the time with boys. Stephen Chbosky
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Things get worse before they get better, but this is a worse that feels too big. Stephen Chbosky
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It is now my favorite book of all time, but then again, I always think that until I read another book. Stephen Chbosky
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And she kissed me. It was the kind of kiss that I could never tell my friends about out loud. It was the kind of kiss that made me know that I was never so happy in my whole life. Stephen Chbosky
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What's the point of using words nobody knows or can say comfortably? Stephen Chbosky
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Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines he wrote a poem And he called it "Chops" because that was the name of his dog And that's what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and a gold star And his mother hung it on the kitchen door and read it to his aunts That was the year Father Tracy took all the kids to the zoo And he let them sing on the bus And his little sister was born with tiny toenails and no hair And his mother and father kissed a lot And the girl around the corner sent him a Valentine signed with a row of X's and he had to ask his father what the X's meant And his father always tucked him in bed at night And was always there to do it Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines he wrote a poem And he called it "Autumn" because that was the name of the season And that's what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and asked him to write more clearly And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because of its new paint And the kids told him that Father Tracy smoked cigars And left butts on the pews And sometimes they would burn holes That was the year his sister got glasses with thick lenses and black frames And the girl around the corner laughed when he asked her to go see Santa ClausAnd the kids told him why his mother and father kissed a lot And his father never tucked him in bed at night And his father got mad when he cried for him to do it. Once on a paper torn from his notebook he wrote a poem And he called it "Innocence: A Question" because that was the question about his girl And that's what it was all about And his professor gave him an A and a strange steady look And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because he never showed her That was the year that Father Tracy died And he forgot how the end of the Apostle's Creed went And he caught his sister making out on the back porch And his mother and father never kissed or even talked And the girl around the corner wore too much makeup That made him cough when he kissed her but he kissed her anyway because that was the thing to do And at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed his father snoring soundly That's why on the back of a brown paper bag he tried another poem And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"Because that's what it was really all about And he gave himself an A and a slash on each damned wrist And he hung it on the bathroom door because this time he didn't think he could reach the kitchen. Stephen Chbosky
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I am both happy and sad at the same time, and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be. Stephen Chbosky
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It's much easier not to know things sometimes. Stephen Chbosky
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I just wish that God or my parents or Sam or my sister or someone would just tell me what's wrong with me. Just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense. Stephen Chbosky
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And she says she wants to expose me to all these great things. And to tell you the truth, I don't really want to be exposed to all these great things if it means that I'll have to hear Mary Elizabeth talk about all the great things she exposed me to all the time. I don't understand that. I would give someone a record so they could love the record, not so they would always know that I gave it to them. . Stephen Chbosky
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I know I should have been grateful because it was a very nice thing to do. But I wasn't grateful. I wasn't grateful at all. Don't get me wrong. I acted like I was. But I wasn't. To tell you the truth, I was starting to get mad. Stephen Chbosky
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I thought if I didnt take a break, I would do something even worse. Like yell or hang up the phone. Stephen Chbosky
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I just reminded myself that she didn't say it mean. She wasn't making fun of me. She wasn't comparing. Or criticizing. Stephen Chbosky
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I just kind of put my feelings away somewhere after that. Stephen Chbosky
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It's nice to have things to look forward to. Stephen Chbosky
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She hated everything her parents loved Stephen Chbosky
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I decided then that when I met someone I thought was as beautiful as the song, I should give it to that person. And I didn't mean beautiful on the outside. I meant beautiful in all ways. So, I was giving it to Sam Stephen Chbosky
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I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have. Stephen Chbosky
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I was just trying to be a friend, ' I said. 'But you weren’t, Charlie. At those times, you weren’t being his friend at all. Because you weren’t honest with him. Stephen Chbosky
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So, tomorrow, I'm leaving. And I'm not going to let that happen again with anyone else. I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to be who I really am. And I'm going to figure out what that is. But right now I'm here with you. And I want to know where you are, what you need, and what you want to do. Stephen Chbosky
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I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it won't change the fact that they are upset. Stephen Chbosky
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It was hard to listen to her all the time without getting to say anything back Stephen Chbosky
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Things change, friends leave. And life doesn't stop for anybody. Stephen Chbosky
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You know I blamed Craig for not letting me do things? You know how stupid I feel about that now? Maybe he didn't really encourage me to do things, but he didn't prevent me from doing them either. But after a while, I didn't do things because I didn't want him to think different about me. But the things is, I wasn't being honest. So, why would I care whether or not he loved me when he didn't really even know me?. Stephen Chbosky
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And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad... Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think the only perspective is to really be there. Like Sam said. Because it's okay to feel things. And be who you are about them. Stephen Chbosky
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Charlie .. have you ever kissed a girl?" I shook my head no. It was so quiet. "Not even when you were little?" I shook my head no again. And she looked very sad. She told me about the first time she was kissed. She told me that it was with one of her dad's friends. She was seven. And she told nobody about it except for Mary Elizabeth and then Patrick a year ago. And she started to cry. And she said something that I won't forget. Ever. "I know that you know that I like Craig. And I know that I told you not to think of me that way. And I know that we can't be together like that. But I want to forget all those things for a minute. Okay?" "Okay." "I want to make sure that the first person you kiss loves you. Okay?" "Okay." She was crying harder now. And I was, too, because when I hear something like that I just can't help it. "I just want to make sure of that. Okay?" "Okay." And she kissed me. It was the kind of kiss that I could never tell my friends about out loud. It was the kind of kiss that made me know that I was never so happy in my whole life. Stephen Chbosky
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I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people. You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. Stephen Chbosky
90
I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning. Stephen Chbosky
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Put my head under my pillow, and let the quiet put things where they are supposed to be. Stephen Chbosky
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I know that things get worse before they get better because that's what my psychiatrist says, but this is a worse that feels too big. Stephen Chbosky
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Banning books gives us silence when we need speech. It closes our ears when we need to listen. It makes us blind when we need sight. Stephen Chbosky
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Some kids look at me strange in the hallways because I don't decorate my locker, ... Stephen Chbosky
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But my dad said it was no excuse." But I love him! " I had never seen my sister cry that much." No, you don't."" I hate you! "" No, you don't." My dad can be very calm sometimes." He's my whole world."" Don't ever say that about anyone again. Not even me." That was my mom. Stephen Chbosky
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A lot of parents make you feel very awkward when you meet them. Stephen Chbosky
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I just wish Mary Elizabeth would ask me questions other than “What's up? Stephen Chbosky
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Maybe he didn’t really encourage me to do things, but he didn’t prevent me from doing them either. But after a while, I didn’t do things because I didn’t want him to think different about me. But the thing is, I wasn’t being honest. So, why would I care whether or not he loved me when he didn’t really even know me? Stephen Chbosky
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It’s like when you’re excited about a girl and you see a couple holding hands, and you feel so happy for them. And other times you see the same couple, and they make you so mad. And all you want is to feel happy for them because you know that if you do, then it means you’re happy, too. Stephen Chbosky
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I asked Patrick if he felt sad that he had to keep it a secret, and Patrick just said that he wasn't sad because at least now, Brad doesn't have to get drunk or stoned to make love. Stephen Chbosky