1
Do Dragons eat Mexican?" Hank wondered out loud." Dude, they eat people. Mexican is a vast improvement over people.Robyn Peterman
2
Anyone who discounts you is a dumbass, " I muttered as the golf cart jerked forward." And are you a dumbass?" the Pigeon inquired as she peeked under the tarp." Absolutely not... I'm a smartass.Robyn Peterman
3
I'm twenty-nine, happily single and getting it on a regular basis' I said, enjoying the way their thin lips hung open in an impressive O.'Well I've never, ' Jane gasped.' Clearly. You should try it some time. I understand Mr Smith is so vision impaired you might have a shot there.' Their appalled shrieks were music to my ears and I quickly made my escape.Robyn Peterman
4
Do you mind if we leave here so I can chain smoke 'til I throw up so it will be easier to quit?Robyn Peterman
5
He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. “I told you to behave. I don’t want to have to arrest you ever again.”“ Um .. . okay.” I felt him slide something under my hand. He leaned in even closer, his mouth by my ear, and whispered, “Although I wouldn’t mind handcuffing you.” Oh. My. God.Robyn Peterman
6
Her eyes narrowed, but she wasn't yelling. I think she liked me... kind of. The way a mother would like an annoying spastic two year old who belonged to someone else.Robyn Peterman
7
Don't know. Never let a wolf near my neck." He grinned and gave me a quick hug. "I love you, Essie. Before you came into my life, I had considered ending myself. Three hundred years is a long time to be alone. You've given me hope, a career as a drag queen and a dysfunctional family. I am supremely grateful. Bite me." And because I trusted him.... I did.Robyn Peterman
8
He said they've literally set up a camp across the street from the hotel and they have signs and bullhorns and the kind of Christian attitude that makes God puke.Robyn Peterman
9
Is your name even David?' I asked as I yanked my panties back on.' Is yours Melanie?' he inquired, buttoning his jeans.' I asked first, ' I countered, wondering for the umpteenth time why being an idiot came so easily to me.Robyn Peterman
10
We need to pull over now, " she screeched as she gagged. "Paper is not supposed to be made out of poop.”" Did it taste like poop?" Hank inquired as he quickly pulled into a rest stop filled with church buses." Since I don't eat poop, " Dima snapped, "I wouldn't know."" But you do eat people?"" I do not eat people, " she yelled." But your people eat people?" I prodded nicely." Occasionally, " she hissed. "And your people sniff each other's asses when in animal form.." She had a point - and a foul one at that.Robyn Peterman