1
The squeeky wheel gets the grease.Josh Billings
2
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.Josh Billings
3
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.Josh Billings
4
One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.Josh Billings
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In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.Josh Billings
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There is one kind of laugh that I always did recommend; it looks out of the eye first with a merry twinkle, then it creeps down on its hands and knees and plays around the mouth like a pretty moth around the blaze of a candle, then it steals over into the dimples of the cheeks and rides around in those whirlpools for a while, then it lights up the whole face like the mellow bloom on a damask rose, then it swims up on the air, with a peal as clear and as happy as a dinner-bell, then it goes back again on gold tiptoes like an angel out for an airing, and it lies down on its little bed of violets in the heart where it came from.Josh Billings
7
Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.Josh Billings
8
Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.Josh Billings
9
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.Josh Billings
10
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.Josh Billings
11
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.Josh Billings
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The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.Josh Billings
13
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist - it reduces him to his fighting weight.Josh Billings
14
When a man comes to me for advice I find out the kind of advice he wants and I give it to him.Josh Billings
15
The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.Josh Billings
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Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting things he has got.Josh Billings
17
Marrying for love may be a bit risky but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.Josh Billings
18
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you do hold well.Josh Billings
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It ain't no disgrace for a man to fall but to lie there and grunt is.Josh Billings
20
If it wasn't for faith there would be no living in this world we couldn't even eat hash with any safety.Josh Billings
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Faith is the soul riding at anchor.Josh Billings
22
As a general thing when a woman wears the pants in a family she has a good right to them.Josh Billings
23
Nature never makes any blunders when she makes a fool she means it.Josh Billings
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There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.Josh Billings
25
It ain't so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich.Josh Billings
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Pity costs nothin' and ain't worth nothin'.Josh Billings
27
Don't mistake pleasures for happiness. They are a different breed of dog.Josh Billings
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If you ever find happiness by hunting for it you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles safe on her nose all the time.Josh Billings
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Pity costs nothing and ain't worth nothing.Josh Billings
30
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.Josh Billings
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The trouble ain't that people are ignorant: it's that they know so much that ain't so.Josh Billings
32
The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.Josh Billings
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My advice to those who are about to begin in earnest the journey of life is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.Josh Billings
34
Love looks through a telescope envy through a microscope.Josh Billings
35
Most men would rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder.Josh Billings
36
To bring up a child in the way he should go travel that way yourself once in a while.Josh Billings
37
A dog Is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.Josh Billings
38
Money will buy a pretty good dog but it won't buy the wag of his tail.Josh Billings
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Be like a postage stamp-stick to one thing until you get there.Josh Billings
40
Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself and then deliberately gets into.Josh Billings
41
There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.Josh Billings
42
It is a very delicate job to forgive a man without lowering him in his estimation and yours too.Josh Billings
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It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself but the most inconvenient one too.Josh Billings
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It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself but the most inconvenient too.Josh Billings
45
When a man gets talking about himself he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.Josh Billings
46
As scarce as truth is the supply has always been in excess of the demand.Josh Billings
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There are people who are always anticipating trouble and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen.Josh Billings
48
It is the little things that fret and worry us you can dodge an elephant but not a fly.Josh Billings
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About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.Josh Billings
50
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.Josh Billings
51
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.Josh Billings
52
In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.Josh Billings
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I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.Josh Billings
54
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.Josh Billings
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A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.Josh Billings
56
Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.Josh Billings
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There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.Josh Billings
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As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.Josh Billings
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Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.Josh Billings
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Men mourn for what they have lost women for what they ain't got.Josh Billings
61
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.Josh Billings
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Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.Josh Billings
63
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.Josh Billings
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Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.Josh Billings
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There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.Josh Billings
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The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.Josh Billings
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As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.Josh Billings
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There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.Josh Billings
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There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.Josh Billings
70
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.Josh Billings
71
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.Josh Billings
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Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.Josh Billings
73
The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.Josh Billings
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Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.Josh Billings
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Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.Josh Billings
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Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.Josh Billings
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There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.Josh Billings