200+ Quotes & Sayings By Jonathan Safran Foer

Jonathan Safran Foer is the author of nine novels, most recently Eating Animals (2011). His most recent novel is Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (2009). His writing has appeared in The New Yorker, Harper's Magazine, The Village Voice, Granta, and elsewhere. He lives in New York City.

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I love you also means I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else. Jonathan Safran Foer
Time was passing like a hand waving from a train...
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Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on. I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you. Jonathan Safran Foer
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If there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it walls, and we will furnish it with soft, red interiors, from the inside out, and give it a knocker that resonates like a diamond falling to a jeweller's felt so that we should never hear it. Love me, because love doesn't exist, and I have tried everything that does. Jonathan Safran Foer
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In bed that night I invented a special drain that would be underneath every pillow in New York, and would connect to the reservoir. Whenever people cried themselves to sleep, the tears would all go to the same place, and in the morning the weatherman could report if the water level of the Reservoir of Tears had gone up or down, and you could know if New York is in heavy boots. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Why are you leaving me? He wrote, I do not know how to live. I do not know either but I am trying. I do not know how to try. There were some things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So i buried them and let them hurt me Jonathan Safran Foer
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Every widow wakes one morning, perhaps after years of pure and unwavering grieving, to realize she slept a good night's sleep, and will be able to eat breakfast, and doesn't hear her husband's ghost all the time, but only some of the time. Her grief is replaced with a useful sadness. Every parent who loses a child finds a way to laugh again. The timbre begins to fade. The edge dulls. The hurt lessens. Every love is carved from loss. Mine was. Yours is. Your great-great-great-grandchildren's will be. But we learn to live in that love. Jonathan Safran Foer
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I wanted to tell her everything, maybe if I'd been able to, we could have lived differently, maybe I'd be there with you now instead of here. Maybe... if I'd said, 'I'm so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything, ' maybe that would have made the impossible possible. Maybe, but I couldn't do it, I had buried too much too deeply inside me. And here I am, instead of there. Jonathan Safran Foer
You are the only one who has understood even a...
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You are the only one who has understood even a whisper of me, and I will tell you that I am the only person who has understood even a whisper of you. Jonathan Safran Foer
I imagine a line, a white line, painted on the...
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I imagine a line, a white line, painted on the sand and on the ocean, from me to you. Jonathan Safran Foer
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I went to a tattoo parlor and had YES written onto the palm of my left hand, and NO onto my right palm, what can I say, it hasn't made my life wonderful, its made life possible, when I rub my hands against each other in the middle of winter I am warming myself with the friction of YES and NO, when I clap my hands I am showing my appreciation through the uniting and parting of YES and NO, I signify "book" by peeling open my hands, every book, for me, is the balance of YES and NO, even this one, my last one, especially this one. Does it break my heart, of course, every moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was made of, I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent, I never thought about things at all, everything changed, the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn't the world, it wasn't the bombs and burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go, is ignorance bliss, I don't know, but it's so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Brod's life was a slow realization that the world was not for her, and that for whatever reason, she would never be happy and honest at the same time. She felt as if she were brimming, always producing and hoarding more love inside her. But there was no release.. So she had to satisfy herself with the idea of love--loving the loving of things whose existence she didn't care at all about. Love itself became the object of her love. She loved herself in love, she loved loving love, as love loves loving, and was able, in that way, to reconcile herself with a world that fell so short of what she would have hoped for. It was not the world that was the great and saving lie, but her willingness to make it beautiful and fair, to live a once-removed life, in a world once-removed from the one in which everyone else seemed to exist. . Jonathan Safran Foer
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He promised us that everything would be okay. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be okay. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father. Jonathan Safran Foer
She let out a laugh, and then she put her...
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She let out a laugh, and then she put her hand over her mouth, like she was angry at herself for forgetting her sadness. Jonathan Safran Foer
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(What are your ghosts like?)( They are on the insides of the lids of my eyes.)( This is also where my ghosts reside.)( You have ghosts?)( Of course I have ghosts.)( But you are a child.)( I am not a child.)( But you have not known love.)( These are my ghosts, the spaces amid love.) Jonathan Safran Foer
Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight...
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Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living. Jonathan Safran Foer
Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was...
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Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future. Jonathan Safran Foer
It was not the feeling of completeness I so needed,...
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It was not the feeling of completeness I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty. Jonathan Safran Foer
I'm sorry for my inability to let unimportant things go,...
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I'm sorry for my inability to let unimportant things go, for my inability to hold on to the important things. Jonathan Safran Foer
I don't think that there are any limits to how...
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I don't think that there are any limits to how excellent we could make life seem. Jonathan Safran Foer
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I am always sad, I think. Perhaps this signifies that I am not sad at all, because sadness is something lower than your normal disposition, and I am always the same thing. Perhaps I am the only person in the world, then, who never becomes sad. Perhaps I am lucky. Jonathan Safran Foer
The mistakes I've made are dead to me. But I...
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The mistakes I've made are dead to me. But I can't take back the things I never did. Jonathan Safran Foer
She was like a drowning person, flailing, reaching for anything...
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She was like a drowning person, flailing, reaching for anything that might save her. Her life was an urgent, desperate struggle to justify her life. Jonathan Safran Foer
It has shown me that everything is illuminated in the...
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It has shown me that everything is illuminated in the light of the past. It is always along the side of us...on the inside, looking out. Jonathan Safran Foer
There's nothing wrong with not understanding yourself.
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There's nothing wrong with not understanding yourself. Jonathan Safran Foer
I want an infinitely blank book and the rest of...
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I want an infinitely blank book and the rest of time......why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time, my greatest regret is how much I believed in the future. Jonathan Safran Foer
...people with nothing to declare carry the most.
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...people with nothing to declare carry the most. Jonathan Safran Foer
If we were to one day encounter a form of...
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If we were to one day encounter a form of life more powerful and intelligent than our own, and it regarded us as we regard fish, what would be our argument against being eaten? Jonathan Safran Foer
Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake!
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Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake! Jonathan Safran Foer
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Anyway.I’m not allowed to watch TV, although I am allowed to rent documentaries that are approved for me, and I can read anything I want. My favorite book is A Brief History of Time, even though I haven’t actually finished it, because the math is incredibly hard and Mom isn’t good at helping me. One of my favorite parts is the beginning of the first chapter, where Stephen Hawking tells about a famous scientist who was giving a lecture about how the earth orbits the sun, and the sun orbits the solar system, and whatever. Then a woman in the back of the room raised her hand and said, “What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant tortoise.” So the scientist asked her what the tortoise was standing on. And she said, “But it’s turtles all the way down! ” I love that story, because it shows how ignorant people can be. And also because I love tortoises. . Jonathan Safran Foer
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Grandfather informs me that is not possible. Jonathan Safran Foer
I will describe my eyes and then begin the story....
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I will describe my eyes and then begin the story. My eyes are blue and resplendent. Now I will begin the story. Jonathan Safran Foer
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What about a teakettle? What if the spout opened and closed when the steam came out, so it would become a mouth, and it could whistle pretty melodies, or do Shakespeare, or justcrack up with me? I could invent a teakettle that reads in Dad’s voice, so I could fall asleep, or maybe a set of kettles that sings the chorus of “Yellow Submarine, ” which is a song by the Beatles, who I love, because entomology is one of my raisons d’être, which is a French expression that I know. Another good thing is that I could train my anus to talk when I farted. If I wanted to be extremely hilarious, I’d train it to say, “Wasn’t me! ” every time I made an incredibly bad fart. And if I ever made an incredibly bad fart in the Hall of Mirrors, which is in Versailles, which is outside of Paris, which is in France, obviously, my anus would say, “Ce n’étais pas moi! ” What about little microphones? What if everyone swallowed them, and they played the sounds of our hearts through little speakers, which could be in the pouches of our overalls? When you skateboard down the street at night you could hear everyone's heartbeat, and they could hear yours, sort of like sonar. One weird thing is, I wonder if everyone's hearts would start to beat at the same time, like how women who live together have their menstrual periods at the same time, which I know about, but don't really want to know about. That would be so weird, except that the place in the hospital where babies are born would sound like a crystal chandelier in a houseboat, because the babies wouldn't have had time to match up their heartbeats yet. And at the finish line at the end of the New York City Marathon it would sound like war. . Jonathan Safran Foer
Feathers filled the small room. Our laughter kept the feathers...
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Feathers filled the small room. Our laughter kept the feathers in the air. I thought about birds. Could they fly if there wasn't someone, somewhere, laughing? Jonathan Safran Foer
Because sometimes people who seem goodend up being not as...
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Because sometimes people who seem goodend up being not as good as you might have hoped. Jonathan Safran Foer
Nine out of ten significant people have to do with...
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Nine out of ten significant people have to do with money or war! Jonathan Safran Foer
Highs and lows make you feel that things matter, but...
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Highs and lows make you feel that things matter, but they're nothing. Jonathan Safran Foer
There are worse things, worse than being like us. Look,...
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There are worse things, worse than being like us. Look, at least we're alive. Jonathan Safran Foer
I could not believe in a God that would challenge...
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I could not believe in a God that would challenge faith like this. Jonathan Safran Foer
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(You do not have to be shamed in my closeness. Family are the people who must never make you feel ashamed.)( You are wrong. Family are the people who must make you feel ashamed when you are deserving of shame.)( And you are deserving of shame?)( I am. I am trying to tell you.) 'We were stupid, ' he said, 'because we believed in things.'' Why is this stupid?'' Because there are not things to believe in.'( Love?)( There is no love. Only the end of love.)( Goodness?)( Do not be a fool.)( God?)( If God exists, He is not to be believed in.) . Jonathan Safran Foer
You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from...
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You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. Jonathan Safran Foer
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I think and think and think, I‘ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it. Jonathan Safran Foer
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...is ignorance bliss, I don't know, but it's so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it. Jonathan Safran Foer
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It's true, I am afraid of dying. I am afraid of the world moving forward without me, of my absence going unnoticed, or worse, being some natural force propelling life on. Is it selfish? Am I such a bad person for dreaming of a world that ends when I do? I don't mean the world ending with respect to me, but every set of eyes closing with mine. Jonathan Safran Foer
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I thought about all of the things that everyone ever says to each other, and how everyone is going to die, whether it's in a millisecond, or days, or months, or 76.5 years, if you were just born. Everything that's born has to die, which means our lives are like skyscrapers. The smoke rises at different speeds, but they're all on fire, and we're all trapped. Jonathan Safran Foer
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When I heard your organization was recording testimonies, I knew I had to come. She died in my arms, saying 'I don't want to die.' That is what death is like. It doesn't matter what uniforms the soldiers are wearing. It doesn't matter how good the weapons are. I thought if everyone could see what I saw, we would never have war anymore. Jonathan Safran Foer
I said, 'I need to know how he died.' He...
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I said, 'I need to know how he died.' He flipped back and pointed at, 'Why?'So I can stop inventing how he died. I'm always inventing. Jonathan Safran Foer
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That is what death is like. It doesn't matter what uniforms the soldiers are wearing. It doesn't matter how good the weapons are. I thought if everyone could see what I saw, we would never have war anymore. Jonathan Safran Foer
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She died in my arms, saying, "I don't want to die." That is what death is like. It doesn't matter what uniforms the soldiers are wearing. It doesn't matter how good the weapons are. I thought if everyone could see what I saw, we would never have war anymore. Jonathan Safran Foer
I kept thinking how they were all names of dead...
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I kept thinking how they were all names of dead people, and how names are basically the only thing dead people keep. Jonathan Safran Foer
...and when is enough proof enough?
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...and when is enough proof enough? Jonathan Safran Foer
With writing, we have second chances.
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With writing, we have second chances. Jonathan Safran Foer
A few weeks after the worst day, I started writing...
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A few weeks after the worst day, I started writing lots of letters. I don't know why, but it was one of the only things that made my boots lighter. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Writing's funny, it's like walking down a hall in the dark looking for the light switch, and suddenly you find it, flip it on, and then you discover the hallway you passed through is papered with the novel you've written. Jonathan Safran Foer
I want an infinitely blank book and the rest of...
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I want an infinitely blank book and the rest of time. Jonathan Safran Foer
I realized that your mother couldn't see the emptiness, she...
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I realized that your mother couldn't see the emptiness, she couldn't see anything... All of the words I'd written to her over all of those years, had I never said anything to hear at all? Jonathan Safran Foer
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God loves the plagiarist. And so it is written, 'God created humankind in His image, in the image of God He created them." God is the original plagiarizer. With a lack of reasonable sources from which to filch - man created in the image of what? the animals? - the creation of man was an act of reflexive plagiarizing; God looted the mirror. When we plagiarize, we are likewise creating in the image and participating in the completion of Creation. . Jonathan Safran Foer
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Mesa, adorno de marfil, arcoíris, cebolla, peinado, molusco, Sabbat, violencia, cutícula, melodrama, cuneta, miel, pañuelo... Nada la conmovía. (...) Nada conseguía ser más de lo que era en realidad. Eran solo cosas, prisioneras de su propia esencia. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Parents are always more knowledgeable than their children, and children are always smarter than their parents. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Sam enjoyed knowledge. The accumulation and distribution of facts gave him a feeling of control, of utility, of the opposite of the powerlessness that comes with having a smallish, underdeveloped body that doesn't dependably respond to the mental commands of a largish, overstimulated brain. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Touch had always saved them in the past. No matter the anger or hurt, no matter the depth of the aloneness, a touch, even a light and passing touch, reminded them of their long togetherness. A palm on a neck: it all flooded back. A head leaned upon a shoulder: the chemicals surged, the memory of love. At times, it was almost impossible to cross the distance between their bodies, to reach out. At times, it was impossible. Each new the feeling so well, in the silence of a darkened bedroom, looking at the same ceiling: If I could open my fingers, my heart's fingers could open. . Jonathan Safran Foer
Between any two beings there is a unique, uncrossable distance,...
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Between any two beings there is a unique, uncrossable distance, an unenterable sanctuary. Sometimes it takes the shape of aloneness. Sometimes it takes the shape of love. Jonathan Safran Foer
In the struggle between yourself and the world, side with...
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In the struggle between yourself and the world, side with the world Jonathan Safran Foer
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From space, astronauts can see people making love as a tiny speck of light. Not light, exactly, but a glow that could be confused for light - a coital radiance that takes generations to pour like honey through the darkness to the astronaut's eyes. In about one and a half centuries - after the lovers who made the glow will have long since been laid permanently on their backs - the metropolitan cities will be seen from space. They will glow all year. Smaller cities will also be seen, but with great difficulty. Towns will be virtually impossible to spot. Individual couples invisible. . Jonathan Safran Foer
Anyone who believes that a second is faster than a...
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Anyone who believes that a second is faster than a decade did not live life. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Isn’t it so weird how the number of dead people is increasing even though the earth stays the same size, so that one day there isn’t going to be room to bury anyone anymore? For my ninth birthday last year, Grandma gave me a subscription to National Geographic, which she calls “the National Geographic.” She also gave me a white blazer, because I only wear white clothes, and it’s too big to wear so it will last me a long time. She also gave me Grandpa’s camera, which I loved for two reasons. I asked why he didn’t take it with him when he left her. She said, “Maybe he wanted you to have it.” I said, “But I was negative-thirty years old.” She said, “Still.” Anyway, the fascinating thing was that I read in National Geographic that there are more people alive now than have died in all of human history. In other words, if everyone wanted to play Hamlet at once, they couldn’t, because there aren’t enough skulls! . Jonathan Safran Foer
Fuck You! ' [Oskar said] 'Exuse me! ' [His mom...
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Fuck You! ' [Oskar said] 'Exuse me! ' [His mom said] 'Sorry. I mean, screw you.' 'You need a time-out! ' 'I need a mausoleum! Jonathan Safran Foer
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Perhaps in the back of our minds we already understand, without all the science I've discussed, that something terribly wrong is happening. Our sustenance now comes from misery. We know that if someone offers to show us a film on how our meat is produced, it will be a horror film. We perhaps know more than we care to admit, keeping it down in the dark places of our memory-- disavowed. When we eat factory-farmed meat we live, literally, on tortured flesh. Increasingly, that tortured flesh is becoming our own. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Needless to say, jamming deformed, drugged, overstressed birds together in a filthy, waste-coated room is not very healthy. Beyond deformities, eye damage, blindness, bacterial infections of bones, slipped vertebrae, paralysis, internal bleeding, anemia, slipped tendons, twisted lower legs and necks, respiratory diseases, and weakened immune systems are frequent and long-standing problems on factory farms. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Find a printer paper and imagine a full-grown bird shaped something like a football with legs standing on it. Imagine 33, 000 of these rectangles in a grid. (Broilers are never in cages, and never on multiple levels.) Now enclose the grid with windowless walls and put a ceiling on top. Run in automated (drug-laced) feed, water, heating, and ventilation systems. This is a farm. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Just how common do such savageries have to be for a decent person to be unable to overlook them? If you knew that one in one thousand food animals suffered actions like those described above, would you continue to eat animals? One in one hundred? One in ten? Jonathan Safran Foer
So many people enter and leave your life! Hundreds of...
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So many people enter and leave your life! Hundreds of thousands of people! You have to keep the door open so they can come in! But it also means you have to let them go! Jonathan Safran Foer
So it had something to do with the sinner, and...
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So it had something to do with the sinner, and something with the judge, and the fear of not being forgiven, and the relief of being loved again. Jonathan Safran Foer
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I feel too much. That's what's going on.' 'Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways?' 'My insides don't match up with my outsides.' 'Do anyone's insides and outsides match up?' 'I don't know. I'm only me.' 'Maybe that's what a person's personality is: the difference between the inside and outside.' 'But it's worse for me.' 'I wonder if everyone thinks it's worse for him.' 'Probably. But it really is worse for me. . Jonathan Safran Foer
Sometimes people who seem good end up being not as...
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Sometimes people who seem good end up being not as good as you might have hoped, you know? Jonathan Safran Foer
My dream went all the way back to the beginning....
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My dream went all the way back to the beginning. The rain rose into the clouds, and the animals descended the ramp. Jonathan Safran Foer
Nothing goes away. Not on its own. You deal with...
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Nothing goes away. Not on its own. You deal with it, or it deals with you. Jonathan Safran Foer
No father knows that he is carrying his son up...
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No father knows that he is carrying his son up the stairs for the final time Jonathan Safran Foer
Why do beautiful songs make you sad?' 'Because they aren't...
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Why do beautiful songs make you sad?' 'Because they aren't true.' 'Never?' 'Nothing is beautiful and true. Jonathan Safran Foer
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But I knew the truth and that's why I was so sad. Every moment before this one depends on this one. Everything in the history of the world can be proven wrong in one moment. Jonathan Safran Foer
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AND IF WE ARE TO STRIVE FOR A BETTER FUTURE, MUSTN'T WE BE FAMILIAR AND RECONCILED WITH OUR PAST? Jonathan Safran Foer
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I went to my grandmother, your great-great-grandmother, and asked her to write a letter. She was my mother's mother. Your father's mother's mother's mother. I hardly knew her. I didn't have any interest in knowing her. I have no need for the past, I thought, like a child. I did not consider that the past might have a need for me. What kind of letter? my grandmother asked. I told her to write whatever she wanted to write. You want a letter from me? she asked. I told her yes. Oh, God bless you, she said. The letter she gave me was sixty-seven pages long. It was the story of her life. She made my request into her own. Listen to me. . Jonathan Safran Foer
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We spent our lives making livings. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Not in all ways (of course), but the animals you know have power: they have abilities humans lack, could be dangerous, could bring life, mean things that mean things. Jonathan Safran Foer
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How many times, in those first weeks, did he enter the room and stand by the door, unable to speak? How many times did she ask, "Do you need anything?" And he would say, "No."And she would say "Are you sure?" And he would say, "Yes, " but think, Ask again. And she would say, "I know, " but think, Come to me. And he would say , "Ask again." And she would say, "Come to me." And saying nothing, he would. There they would be, side by side, her hand on his thigh, his head resting on her chest. If they had been teenagers, it would have looked like the beginning of love, but they'd been married for twenty years, and it was the exhumation of love. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Let's go to bed. Those four words differentiate a marriage from every other kind of relationship. We aren't going to find a way to agree, but let's go to bed. Not because we want to, but because we have to. We hate each other right now, but let's go to bed. It's the only one we have. Let's go to our sides, but the sides of the same bed. Let's retreat into ourselves, but together. How many conversations had ended with those four words? How many fights? . Jonathan Safran Foer
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I remembered my mother's speech at my wedding. "In sickness and in sickness. That is what I wish for you. Don't seek or expect miracles. There are no miracles. Not anymore. And there are no cures for the hurt that hurts most. There is only the medicine of believing each other's pain, and being present for it." Who will believe my pain? Who will be present for it? Jonathan Safran Foer
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In sickness and in sickness. That is what I wish for you. Don't seek or expect miracles. There are no miracles. Not anymore. And there are no cures for the hurt that hurts most. There is only the medicine of believing each other's pain, and being present for it. Jonathan Safran Foer
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So many days in their shared life. So many experiences. How had they managed to spend the previous sixteen years unlearning each other? How had all the presence summed to disappearance? Jonathan Safran Foer
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Songs are as sad as the listener. Jonathan Safran Foer
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If we communicated with something like music, we would never be misunderstood, because there is nothing in music to understand...... But until we find this new way of speaking, until we can find a nonapproximate vocabulary, nonsense words are the best thing we've got. Ifactifice is one such word. Jonathan Safran Foer
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I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others–the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad. Jonathan Safran Foer
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One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Mother is a humble woman. Very, very humble. She toils at a small café one hour distance from our home. She presents food and drink to customers there, and says to me, "I mount the autobus for an hour to work all day doing things I hate. You want to know why? It is for you, Alexi-stop-spleening-me! One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be a family." What she does not clutch is that I already do things for her that I hate. I listen to her when she talks to me. I resist complaining about my pygmy allowance. And did I mention that I do not spleen her nearly so much as I desire to? But I do not do these things because we are a family. I do them because they are common decencies. That is an idiom that the hero taught me. I do them because I am not a big fucking asshole. That is another idiom that the hero taught me. . Jonathan Safran Foer
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If I’d been someone else in a different world I’d've done something different, but I was myself and the world was the world, so I was silent. Jonathan Safran Foer
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As we drove, I imagined we were standing still and the world was coming toward us. Jonathan Safran Foer
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This is the sixty-nine, " I told him, presenting the magazine in front of him. I put my fingers -- two of them -- on the action, so that he would not overlook it. "Why is it dubbed sixty-nine?" he asked, because he is a person hot on fire with curiosity. "It was invented in 1969. My friend Gregory knows a friend of the nephew of the inventor." "What did people do before 1969?" "Merely blowjobs and masticating box, but never in chorus. Jonathan Safran Foer
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From space, astronauts can see people making love as a tiny speck of light. Not light, exactly, but a glow that could be mistaken for light--a coital radiance that takes generations to pour like honey through the darkness to the astronaut's eyes. In about one and a half centuries--after the lovers who made the glow will have long been laid permanently on their backs--metropolises will be seen from space. They will glow all year. Smaller cities will also be seen, but with great difficulty. Shtetls will be virtually impossible to spot. Individual couples, invisible. The glow is born from the sum of thousands of loves: newlyweds and teenagers who spark like lighters out of butane, pairs of men who burn fast and bright, pairs of women who illuminate for hours with soft multiple glows, orgies like rock and flint toys sold at festivals, couples trying unsuccessfully to have children who burn their frustrated image on the continent like the bloom a bright light leaves on the eye after you turn away fr . Jonathan Safran Foer
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I know a lot about birds and bees, but I don't know very much about the birds and the bees. Everything I do know I had to teach myself on the Internet, because I don't have anyone to ask. For example, I know that you give someone a blowjob by putting your penis in their mouth. Jonathan Safran Foer
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I have tutored Little Igor to be a man of this world. For example, I exhibited him a smutty magazine three days yore, so that he should be appraised of the many positions in which I am carnal. 'This is sixty-nine, ' I told him, presenting the magazine in front of him. I put my fingers--two of them--on the action, so that he would not overlook it. 'Why is it dubbed sixty-nine?' he asked, because he is a person hot on fire with curiosity. 'It was invented in 1969. My friend Gregory knows a friend of the nephew of the inventor.' 'What did people do before 1969?' 'Merely blowjobs and masticating box, but never in chorus. . Jonathan Safran Foer
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The disgraced Usurer Yankel D took the baby girl home that evening.. He made a bed of crumpled newspaper in a deep baking pan and gently tucked it in the oven, so that she wouldn't be disturbed by the noise of the small falls outside.. When he pulled her out to feed her or just hold her, her body was tattooed with the newsprint.. Sometimes he would rock her to sleep in his arms, and read her left to right, and know everything he needed to know about the world. If it wasn't written on her, it wasn't important to him. Jonathan Safran Foer