8 Quotes & Sayings By John Mortimer

John Mortimer is the author of the internationally best-selling novels "Rumpole of the Bailey," a play, several television series and a film. He was born in East Ham in 1931 and began his career in journalism in 1948. In 1951 he became a reporter on the "Daily Express," where he remained until 1961, when he joined the BBC as a news broadcaster. In 1962 he began his highly successful writing career with the novel "The Rumpole Omnibus," which was eventually published as three separate works Read more

In 25 years he wrote more than 50 books, including six novels featuring "Rumpole" and four plays. He was made a life peer in 1987, and 25 years later was awarded an OBE for services to literature and broadcasting.

Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake; all they...
1
Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake; all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have some sort of complaint that you were far happier not knowing about. John Mortimer
2
LIf someone tries to steal your watch, by all means fight them off. If someone sues you for your watch, hand it over and be glad you got away so lightly. John Mortimer
3
A hundred pounds! He couldn't remember ever having seen a hundred pounds, all at one time. He found himself envying his father, who had nothing to worry about except the future of mankind. John Mortimer
4
Writing about the indignities of old age: the daunting stairway to the restaurant restroom, the benefits of a wheelchair in airports and its disadvantages at cocktail parties, giving the user what he described as a child's-eye view of the party and a crotch-level view of the guests. Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The aging process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous. John Mortimer
5
She felt a tightness in her chest and sent for Dr Simcox.'What's the trouble?'' Look out there, that's the trouble! It's so green and quiet and it's always bloody raining.'' That's England, Mrs Mallard-Greene. I'm afraid there's no known cure for it. John Mortimer
6
I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print. John Mortimer
7
I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. John Mortimer