1
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.Jackie Mason
2
Right now I have enough money to last me the rest of my life - unless I buy something.Jackie Mason
3
You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.Jackie Mason
4
Ladies and gentlemen you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world.. .. That's me .. . But to my wife .. .Jackie Mason
5
It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.Jackie Mason
6
I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.Jackie Mason
7
Predictions are preposterous.Jackie Mason