1
Can I see some ID?" "WE DON'T HAVE ID, " said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN." Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.Adam Rex
2
What part of Canada are you from, honey?"" T H E LEFT PART, " said Jay.Adam Rex
3
I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with ... G.""Sausages.Adam Rex
4
Jay lurched in one direction, jerked back, lurched in another, tripped for no reason. He finally made it through a gauntlet of invisible obstacles and crouched behind a water fountain shaped like a hippopotamous throwing up.Adam Rex
5
This is where you all live?" Asked John as they ascended the stairs. "It's small."" This is just our Thanksgiving house, " Scott muttered. "We have a house for every day of the year.Adam Rex
6
They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean?Adam Rex
7
Sneaky would be a lime-green Volkswagen. Nobody would suspect the assassins in the lime-green Volkswagen.Adam Rex
8
Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren't.Adam Rex
9
Stealing is good, honest work, " Said the theif, puffing out his chest. "Well, not honest, strictly speaking, " he admitted after a moment. "Or actually good.Adam Rex
10
Sorry I'm late, " Ms. Egami said to the class. She dropped her papers, which scattered in that special way papers do when one is running late.Adam Rex
11
The Freemen have 987 levels of membership, the first three of which are achieved merely by filling out an application. The 8th level is granted upon full acceptance into the local lodge, the 13th following Initiation, the 21st at the end of the Initiate's second week, and the 89th the first time he brings snacks.Adam Rex
12
He spun out enough toilet paper to vandalize a house and carefully cleaned the seat.Adam Rex
13
...a row of tables manned by seated, serious women. Each woman looked like she could be someone's least-favourite aunt.Adam Rex
14
Project: Potential was a separate class that the gifted students went to for an hour each day. The name was supposed to make it exciting, like Code Name: Cursive or Mission: State Capitals.Adam Rex
15
Scottish Play Doe was born at 4:13 a.m. on September 6th. The ink was barely dry on his father's new tattoo.Adam Rex
16
Polly Esther Doe was born at 8:03 a.m. on August 14.Adam Rex
17
There's a little bit of magic in every box!Adam Rex
18
There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good.Adam Rex
19
We could have made it to the Arizona border in a few more hours if we hadn't been distracting each other with stupid little arguments. Don't get me wrong; I liked J.Lo fine. I've made that bed. But I'm not sure there's a person in the world I could be with twenty-four hours a day for three weeks without getting a little snippy. If I ever meet such a person, I'm marrying them.Adam Rex
20
Why would a vampire create a younger vampire if there was a possibility the young one might end up destroying the old one?' Stephin stared. 'If you can explain to me how this is different from parenting in general I might know how to answer that.Adam Rex
21
In lieu of Tasers, you'll have to hit me. Hard as you can. Then maybe some kind of fight-or-flight response will kick in and I'll turn into a bat to get away from you."" Fight or flight."" Yes."" Only half of that is flight.Adam Rex
22
Sejal had not thought of her home, or of India as a whole, as cool. She was dimly aware, however, of a white Westerner habit of wearing other cultures like T-shirts–the sticker bindis on club kids, sindoor in the hair of an unmarried pop star, Hindi characters inked carelessly on tight tank tops and pale flesh. She knew Americans liked to flash a little Indian or Japanese or African. They were always looking for a little pepper to put in their dish. .Adam Rex
23
The United States was a big country where everybody wore funny t-shirts and ate too much.Adam Rex
24
Sometimes you really want to say "Duh, " but you can't. It's a part of growing up, I guess.Adam Rex
25
There was less than I’d expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept in the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled ‘DEAD SPIDERS.’ As if I hadn’t always known it was there. As if I wouldn’t want to look at dead spiders.Adam Rex
26
Woah, ' I said, blocking the doorway. 'You can't come in here. This is the girls' rAdam Rex
27
Ohh, ' said the girl with a sad tilt of herAdam Rex