18 Quotes & Sayings By Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun was born in 1869 in Rome, Georgia. She was the youngest of three daughters born to Samuel Lee Calhoun, a blacksmith, and his wife Martha Jane. Her older sister was named Grace Eliza. Her father died when Ada was only two years old, leaving her family in poverty Read more

The family moved to Vidalia, Georgia, where Ada lived the majority of her early life. Ada Calhoun began writing at an early age. Her stories were published in local newspapers and she never forgot how much she loved to write. At the age of 13, when she left school to work at home to help support her family, Ada also began teaching herself how to read and write shorthand by studying at night under the light of her oil lamp.

By the age of 21 she began attending night classes at Atlanta University (now Morehouse College) to further her education. She continued to teach herself how to write, even though she no longer attended school. Ada was eventually able to obtain a teaching certificate in 1892 and become co-owner of a private school for young black women in Atlanta in 1893.

She continued writing after she obtained the teaching certificate until March 1894 when she married Robert H. Ivy who worked as an elevator operator at the Rialto Theater on Peachtree Street in Atlanta. Ada Ivy published her first book, "The Church Servant", in 1899. It is still considered an African-American classic today because it focused on true stories of working class African-American heroes and heroines living during this period of time when religion and religion-based social reform were prominent issues in African-American literature during this time period. Her second book was published five years later in 1903 titled "A Mothers Secret".

The story is about a mother's struggle with poverty and disease that results from the absence of fathers from their families that made up most of these families during this time period. The book focuses on how important it is for mothers to take care of themselves before they can take care of their children; showing that most working class African-American families could not afford childcare at this time (because most childcare consisted of what was called "parlour" or "household" work). Later on Ada Ivy would publish twenty four books throughout her lifetime; all relating one way or another to working class African American families during this long period known as Jim Crow; which lasted until 1954 with the landmark Supreme Court decision that ruled that segregation

All the couples therapy and communication seminars in the world...
1
All the couples therapy and communication seminars in the world won't save you if you aren't prepared to close your eyes and hug the mainmast through a storm. Ada Calhoun
2
So what's the secret to staying together?" I asked her. "Be nice?" she offered. I laughed, but that may be it, the way a secret to losing weight is to eat less. Be nice. Don't leave. That's all. Ada Calhoun
3
I want to say that at various points in your marriage, may it last forever, you will look at this person and feel only rage. Ada Calhoun
4
...there is so much beauty in the trying, and in the failing, and in the trying again. Ada Calhoun
5
The romantic fairy tales we grew up with -- where marriage is the happy ending rather than the opening scene -- are not useful for grown-ups. Ada Calhoun
6
(Personally, I have avoided many fights by going to bed angry and waking up to realize that I'd just been tired.) Ada Calhoun
7
By staying married, we give something to ourselves and to others: hope. Hope that in steadfastly loving someone, we ourselves, for all our faults, will be loved; that the broken world will be made whole. To hitch your rickety wagon to the flickering star of another fallible human being -- what an insane thing to do. What a burden, and what a gift. Ada Calhoun
8
...even good marriages sometimes involve flinging a remote control at the wall. Ada Calhoun
9
People who don't marry miss both the pelting hardships of marriage and its warm rewards. Ada Calhoun
10
As married people, we dwell on a spectrum between happy and unhappy, in love and out of love, and we move back and forth on that line decade by decade, year by year, week by week, even hour by hour. Ada Calhoun
11
Failure is part of being human, and it is definitely part of being married. Ada Calhoun
12
...that's part of what marriage means: sometimes hating this other person but staying together because you promised you would. Ada Calhoun
13
Dating is poetry. Marriage is a novel. There are times, maybe years, that are all exposition. Ada Calhoun
14
Forsaking all others means going deep with one person -- exhaustingly deep. Ada Calhoun
15
Wherever you go, there you are. You would just have different problems. Are the problems you have now so bad that any other problems would be better? Ada Calhoun
16
The boring parts don't last forever. In retrospect, they aren't even boring. Ada Calhoun
17
To love somebody is not just a strong feeling -- it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise, " writes psychologist Erich Fromm. "If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision? Ada Calhoun