100 Quotes About Witty

Witty quotes are a great way to make people laugh. They can be used as icebreakers for a party, as a conversation starter at a social gathering, or even as a pick-me-up on a bad day. These witty quotes about life will make you chuckle and show others that you’re really not as boring as you may feel.

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Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs. Oliver Goldsmith
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Yes. Reyn is our resident horse master. He has an excellent seat." I grinned. "I've noticed." Reyn's face tightened and Nell flushed, looking embarrassed. "It's an equestrian term."" Really? I thought you were talking about his ass. Cate Tiernan
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I’d heard you were dead.”" I heard you wear a red lace corset, ” I said matter-of-factly. “But I don’t believe every bit of nonsense that gets rumored about. Patrick Rothfuss
This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like...
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This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here. Hunter S. Thompson
Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh...
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Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions. Criss Jami
The problem with a life spent reading is you know...
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The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much. Josh Lanyon
Whenever I think of something but can't think of what...
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Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much. Criss Jami
If an apology is followed by an excuse or a...
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If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for. Amit Kalantri
Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth...
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Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals. Amit Kalantri
When you are angry try your best to go to...
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When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you are angry. Amit Kalantri
Histories make men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtle; natural...
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Histories make men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtle; natural philosophy, deep; moral, grave; logic and rhetoric, able to contend. Francis Bacon
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There was a time when skepticism was an act of rebellion. Since to a degree I both believe in evolution and have faith, I can only conclude that, as prophesied, to have faith will someday be an act of rebellion. Criss Jami
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Once you’ve read too many trashy best-sellers, you begin to look for something with substance, something that attempts to define the universe. Jessica Zafra
A person is wise if he listens to millions of...
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A person is wise if he listens to millions of advice and doesn't implement any of it. Michael Bassey Johnson
I've come to the point where I never feel the...
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I've come to the point where I never feel the need to stop and evaluate whether or not I am happy. I'm just 'being', and without question, by default, it works. Criss Jami
Fail soon so that you can succeed sooner.
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Fail soon so that you can succeed sooner. Amit Kalantri
Today it is cheaper to start a business than tomorrow.
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Today it is cheaper to start a business than tomorrow. Amit Kalantri
To a farmer dirt is not a waste, it is...
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To a farmer dirt is not a waste, it is wealth. Amit Kalantri
If the farmer is rich, then so is the nation.
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If the farmer is rich, then so is the nation. Amit Kalantri
A farmer is a magician who produces money from the...
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A farmer is a magician who produces money from the mud. Amit Kalantri
Networking isn't how many people you know, it's how many...
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Networking isn't how many people you know, it's how many people know you. Amit Kalantri
An entrepreneur with strong network makes money even when he...
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An entrepreneur with strong network makes money even when he is asleep. Amit Kalantri
LIFE - Death's Very Emissary
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LIFE - Death's Very Emissary Abhysheq Shukla
Everybody needs to be good-natured with a good heart, because...
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Everybody needs to be good-natured with a good heart, because in this way we can solve our own problems as well as those of others, and we can make our human life meaningful. Abhysheq Shukla
We do not recognize that we are addicted to some...
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We do not recognize that we are addicted to some negative psychological habit, some terribly self-destructive patterns of thinking... Abhysheq Shukla
We are living a fantasy life in our heads, and...
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We are living a fantasy life in our heads, and our real life is passing by, moment by moment. Life is only lived in moments: anything else is a fantasy, a lie, an illusion. Abhysheq Shukla
Karma is a balance sheet of life which debits and...
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Karma is a balance sheet of life which debits and credit all your deeds. Your Which is audited by our creator and actions are based on what we accumulated in it. Abhysheq Shukla
Karma is the balance sheet of life which debits and...
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Karma is the balance sheet of life which debits and credit all your deeds. Your Which is audited by our creator and actions are based on what we accumulated in it. Abhysheq Shukla
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We create karma by all kinds of selfish actions. The first thing we must understand is that we are psychologically asleep. It is very difficult for us to be conscious of ourselves. We are not very aware. We must come to recognize that we do not pay attention. Abhysheq Shukla
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Self-observation is simply the observation of an internal state and an external event. It is pure awareness, which gives one the ability to choose one's actions. Only by having the choice can one perform what is right. Abhysheq Shukla
Desires and Karma are the worst enemies living in the...
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Desires and Karma are the worst enemies living in the same soul together. It depends on us whom we choose and feed. Abhysheq Shukla
Love wins when reflections win over reflexes.
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Love wins when reflections win over reflexes. Abhysheq Shukla
In the end, you will realize most friendship is feigning,...
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In the end, you will realize most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly. Abhysheq Shukla
Every person has his secret; in reverie, unbeknown to others,...
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Every person has his secret; in reverie, unbeknown to others, he finds peace, freedom, sorrow and love. Abhysheq Shukla
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He wasn't aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn't smile he didn't look amiable Emma Goldrick
It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy....
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It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples. Jane Austen
Seeing the mud around a lotus is pessimism, seeing a...
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Seeing the mud around a lotus is pessimism, seeing a lotus in the mud is optimism. Amit Kalantri
Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia.
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Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia. Mervyn Peake
I wanted to play with death, like a child with...
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I wanted to play with death, like a child with a new toy, I wanted to push all the buttons and see what would happen. Holly Hood
If time is money and you wasted my time, then...
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If time is money and you wasted my time, then give me back my money! Ljupka Cvetanova
If you can't impress them with your argument, impress them...
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If you can't impress them with your argument, impress them with your actions. Amit Kalantri
Politeness is the first thing people lose once they get...
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Politeness is the first thing people lose once they get the power. Amit Kalantri
With discipline, you can lose weight, you can excel in...
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With discipline, you can lose weight, you can excel in work, you can win the war. Amit Kalantri
Anger gets you into trouble, ego keeps you in trouble.
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Anger gets you into trouble, ego keeps you in trouble. Amit Kalantri
Arrogant men with knowledge make more noise from their mouth...
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Arrogant men with knowledge make more noise from their mouth than making a sense from their mind. Amit Kalantri
Respect cannot be inherited, respect is the result of right...
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Respect cannot be inherited, respect is the result of right actions. Amit Kalantri
No tricks, no tools, but talent makes a task truly...
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No tricks, no tools, but talent makes a task truly top class. Amit Kalantri
State first, subject second, statesman last.
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State first, subject second, statesman last. Amit Kalantri
Creativity without discipline will struggle, creativity with discipline will succeed.
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Creativity without discipline will struggle, creativity with discipline will succeed. Amit Kalantri
Parents expect only two things from their children, obedience in...
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Parents expect only two things from their children, obedience in their childhood and respect in their adulthood. Amit Kalantri
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Father has a strengthening character like the sun and mother has a soothing temper like the moon. Amit Kalantri
Cowards say it can't be done, critics say it shouldn't...
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Cowards say it can't be done, critics say it shouldn't have been done, creator say well done. Amit Kalantri
During a conversation, listening is as powerful as loving.
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During a conversation, listening is as powerful as loving. Amit Kalantri
If thinking should precede acting, then acting must succeed thinking.
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If thinking should precede acting, then acting must succeed thinking. Amit Kalantri
Making a product is just an activity, making a profit...
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Making a product is just an activity, making a profit on a product is the achievement. Amit Kalantri
The job of feets is walking, but their hobby is...
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The job of feets is walking, but their hobby is dancing. Amit Kalantri
Hands can cook, hands can create, hands can kill. There...
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Hands can cook, hands can create, hands can kill. There is no better tool than our hands. Amit Kalantri
This is why you shouldn’t hire your friends. It’s all...
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This is why you shouldn’t hire your friends. It’s all nice and professional until the insubordination starts. She sighed. Rob Thomas
Keep your heads up! We are sinking!
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Keep your heads up! We are sinking! Ljupka Cvetanova
Oh yes! I have couple-goals too. I love to couple...
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Oh yes! I have couple-goals too. I love to couple myself with- Books, Coffee and Mountains. Jasleen Kaur Gumber
I have a headache. If only I had a crown...
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I have a headache. If only I had a crown to put on! Ljupka Cvetanova
....Charles laughingly observed, ' Gospel and the blues are really,...
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....Charles laughingly observed, ' Gospel and the blues are really, if you break it down, almost the same thing. It's just a question of whether you're talkin' about a woman or God. Craig Werner
Pure wisdom is the 'fruit of life' banal platitudes are...
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Pure wisdom is the 'fruit of life' banal platitudes are the 'bane of existence'. Criss Jami
Memories of the past are what drive us, whether to...
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Memories of the past are what drive us, whether to a life of beauty or a life of insanity is up to us. Abhysheq Shukla
In the end all the puzzles of your life will...
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In the end all the puzzles of your life will be solved , until then... laugh at the scepticism, live for the moment and remember everything happens for a reason. Abhysheq Shukla
Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up...
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Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage. Abhysheq Shukla
Every interaction is an opportunity to learn, Only if we...
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Every interaction is an opportunity to learn, Only if we are interested in improving rather than proving. Abhysheq Shukla
Life is a university, you will keep learning new things...
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Life is a university, you will keep learning new things all the time. The tombstone will be your degree. Make sure it's worth a fortune for those who admire you. Abhysheq Shukla
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with...
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Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, So ... Love the people who treat you right and pray for the ones who don't. Life is 10% what you make it 90% how you take it. Abhysheq Shukla
Life is about the moments you create, that you can...
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Life is about the moments you create, that you can keep it with you FOREVER. After everything is over, That is what we have or what we are left with. Abhysheq Shukla
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A person with good heart is always happy. However its a myth because most of the time his heart is full of wounds as it except only good thing from others still he love the people who treat it right & pray for the ones who don't Abhysheq Shukla
Life is about the moments you create, that you can...
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Life is about the moments you create, that you can keep with you forever. After everything is over, That is what we have or what we are left with. Abhysheq Shukla
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If someone talks bad about us, we feel bad. If someone talks good about us we feel good. The question is , Have we given our remote to others for the way we feel? Live your life in your way! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Abhysheq Shukla
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For a happy life, it's best we should ignore &overlook things, people, incidents, affairs & matters. It is not necessary that we show a reaction to everything. Step back & ask yourself if the matter is really worth responding to. Abhysheq Shukla
If we try to see something positive in everything we...
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If we try to see something positive in everything we do, life won't necessarily become easier but it becomes more valuable. Abhysheq Shukla
A lot of pain that we are dealing with are...
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A lot of pain that we are dealing with are really only THOUGHTS. Abhysheq Shukla
The most important subject in the curriculum in the future...
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The most important subject in the curriculum in the future years will be how to love ourselves and be content. Abhysheq Shukla
Literacy rate tells us about the section of society who...
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Literacy rate tells us about the section of society who can read and write, but do we have a tool which can share the stats about out how many educated illiterates we have in our society. Abhysheq Shukla
Tenderhearted people are silent sufferers they just learn the art...
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Tenderhearted people are silent sufferers they just learn the art to fly with broken wings. Abhysheq Shukla
There's a story behind every
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There's a story behind every "I don't believe in love"" Period Abhysheq Shukla
Its not your fault for not being there. Its my...
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Its not your fault for not being there. Its my fault for thinking you would be Abhysheq Shukla
We live in a society where every business has a...
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We live in a society where every business has a huge scope. Even if you open a shop selling snakes people will buy it. Thinking they will direct them to their neighbors house. Abhysheq Shukla
Create your own path. Don't blindly follow the massess... because...
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Create your own path. Don't blindly follow the massess... because most of the time the "M" is silent. Abhysheq Shukla
Your friends can be double-edged knife thy can either nurture...
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Your friends can be double-edged knife thy can either nurture you or destroy you. Choose them Wisely...... Abhysheq Shukla
Growing older doesn't mean that you are more mature than...
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Growing older doesn't mean that you are more mature than everyone who is younger than you. Maturity is a lot of things, and age has nothing to do with it. Abhysheq Shukla
When in a frying pan, thank your stars. You will...
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When in a frying pan, thank your stars. You will reminisce about it moments later, when you fall in the fire. Prashant Yadav
Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just...
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Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear. Suzanne Collins
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A pause followed my greeting. Then “We’re watching you ” whispered the voice on the other end.“ Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys? ”Silence. Then dial tone. These younger demons. So easily discouraged. Josh Lanyon
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Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?' Minho asked..." Go ahead, " Newt replied. Minho nodded and faced the crowd. 'Be careful, ' he said dryly. 'Don't die.' Thomas would have laughed if he could, but he was too scared for it to come out.' Great. We're all bloody inspired, ' Newt answered. James Dashner
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Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other. Unknown
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-"He loved her... It was noble of him. It was beautiful."-" It was stupid. Lloyd Alexander
And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all...
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And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first! Susan Kay
So just let me deal with it, I can be...
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So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. I’m a great multitasker. Holly Hood
I hope that the kind reader recognises this as a...
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I hope that the kind reader recognises this as a despairing attempt at humour. Nancy Springer
Yes, I kidnapped that Lindberg baby.
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Yes, I kidnapped that Lindberg baby. Chuck Palahniuk
Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name?...
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Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly. Darynda Jones
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Sorry, Bex, " Jason said "You don't have the recognizable facial characteristics - such as a huge chin, or a large amount of real estate between the eyes - that would merit the bestowing of a criminal mastermind nickname such as Lockjaw or Walleye. Whereas Crazytop here..well, just look at her." "Atleast I can blow-dry my hair straight, " I pointed out. "Which is more than what I can say for your nose, Hawkface. Meg Cabot
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Says O'Sullivan to me, "Mr. Fay, I'll have a word wid yeh?" "Certainly, " says I; "what can I do for you?" "Sell me your sea- boots, Mr. Fay, " says O'Sullivan, polite as can be. "But what will you be wantin' of them?" says I. "'Twill be a great favour, " says O'Sullivan. "But it's my only pair, " says I; "and you have a pair of your own, " says I. "Mr. Fay, I'll be needin' me own in bad weather, " says O'Sullivan. "Besides, " says I, "you have no money." "I'll pay for them when we pay off in Seattle, " says O'Sullivan. "I'll not do it, " says I; "besides, you're not tellin' me what you'll be doin' with them." "But I will tell yeh, " says O'Sullivan; "I'm wantin' to throw 'em over the side." And with that I turns to walk away, but O'Sullivan says, very polite and seducin'-like, still a-stroppin' the razor, "Mr. Fay, " says he, "will you kindly step this way an' have your throat cut?" And with that I knew my life was in danger, and I have come to make report to you, sir, that the man is a violent lunatic. Jack London
She didn‟t look like the athletic type to me.” “Maybe...
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She didn‟t look like the athletic type to me.” “Maybe Nemov carried her. He looked like he could.” “He looked like he could carry his SUV. I don‟t know why he didn‟t. Josh Lanyon