1
The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.Matshona Dhliwayo
2
An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet.Matshona Dhliwayo
3
Get high on love, not drugs.Matshona Dhliwayo
4
Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.Matshona Dhliwayo
5
Your wife is smarter than you; know this, and you will live happily ever after.Matshona Dhliwayo
6
Love came, it saw, and it conquered me.Matshona Dhliwayo
7
Falling in love with someone is intentional, even if it was their looks that tripped you.Matshona Dhliwayo
8
There is nothing wrong with being a puppet if love is the one pulling the strings.Matshona Dhliwayo
9
The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.Matshona Dhliwayo
10
If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.Matshona Dhliwayo
11
The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.Matshona Dhliwayo
12
Be calm on your wedding day; she won’t kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.Matshona Dhliwayo
13
Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.Matshona Dhliwayo
14
Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.Matshona Dhliwayo
15
A kiss is the only thing you can throw at someone without being held criminally responsible.Matshona Dhliwayo
16
Men like to borrow kisses because they know they will have to pay them back.Matshona Dhliwayo
17
If you blame gravity for falling in love, even God has the right to laugh at you.Matshona Dhliwayo
18
Diamonds are a girl's best friend until love introduces her to her soulmate.Matshona Dhliwayo
19
An angry wife can be more frightening than an army of disgruntled soldiers.Matshona Dhliwayo
20
Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.Matshona Dhliwayo
21
If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.Matshona Dhliwayo
22
A mother’s eyes are like God; impossible to get away from, they see everything.Matshona Dhliwayo
23
Ask your wife for forgiveness, even when you’re right.Matshona Dhliwayo
24
The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.Matshona Dhliwayo
25
She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.Matshona Dhliwayo
26
My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she’ll end up taking over.Matshona Dhliwayo
27
Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.Matshona Dhliwayo