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Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!Bill Watterson
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I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.Bill Watterson
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Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.Bill Watterson
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Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?Bill Watterson
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Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn't want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you'd cheat! I knew you'd win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming "Aaaaaaaaaaaa", then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it's just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life! .Bill Watterson
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Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!Bill Watterson
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Nature indeed plants the seeds of religion--fear and ignorance kingcraft and priestcraft water and tend it.W.G. Pogson Smith
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I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.Bill Watterson