1
In my book an erection constitutes personal growth.Amunhotep El Bey
2
The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.Matshona Dhliwayo
3
An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet.Matshona Dhliwayo
4
Get high on love, not drugs.Matshona Dhliwayo
5
Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.Matshona Dhliwayo
6
Your wife is smarter than you; know this, and you will live happily ever after.Matshona Dhliwayo
7
Falling in love with someone is intentional, even if it was their looks that tripped you.Matshona Dhliwayo
8
There is nothing wrong with being a puppet if love is the one pulling the strings.Matshona Dhliwayo
9
The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.Matshona Dhliwayo
10
If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.Matshona Dhliwayo
11
Be calm on your wedding day; she won’t kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.Matshona Dhliwayo
12
Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.Matshona Dhliwayo
13
Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.Matshona Dhliwayo
14
A kiss is the only thing you can throw at someone without being held criminally responsible.Matshona Dhliwayo
15
Men like to borrow kisses because they know they will have to pay them back.Matshona Dhliwayo
16
If you blame gravity for falling in love, even God has the right to laugh at you.Matshona Dhliwayo
17
Diamonds are a girl's best friend until love introduces her to her soulmate.Matshona Dhliwayo
18
An angry wife can be more frightening than an army of disgruntled soldiers.Matshona Dhliwayo
19
Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.Matshona Dhliwayo
20
I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married.Matshona Dhliwayo
21
The fastest way to end an argument with your wife is to admit she’s right.Matshona Dhliwayo
22
Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all.Matshona Dhliwayo
23
If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.Matshona Dhliwayo
24
A mother’s eyes are like God; impossible to get away from, they see everything.Matshona Dhliwayo
25
Ask your wife for forgiveness, even when you’re right.Matshona Dhliwayo
26
She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.Matshona Dhliwayo
27
Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.Matshona Dhliwayo
28
A man who boasts he's the head of the home must never forget the woman is the knife at his throat.Matshona Dhliwayo
29
Wisdom of the Ages: "President's Day" One allowed the Federal Reserve and one got lead. One got a city and the other got dead.Matthew Heines
30
My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she’ll end up taking over.Matshona Dhliwayo
31
Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.Matshona Dhliwayo
32
If God had a wife He would be in just as much trouble as any man.Matshona Dhliwayo