81 Adage Quotes And Sayings

In the world of relationships, there are a lot of common adages that people often say out loud or let loose in their minds. Sometimes they’re true and sometimes they’re not, but it’s often hard to tell. So this list is a collection of ‘adage type’ quotes about love, life, and other important things that you can use to make you feel better, smarter, or happier. Some of the quotes are funny and some are wise, but all will make you feel better about life in general.

1
To some believers, being on the pill or using a condom is a nonverbal way of telling God to go to hell. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
2
It goes without saying that even those of us who are going to hell will get eternal life–if that territory really exists outside religious books and the minds of believers, that is. Having said that, given the choice, instead of being grilled until hell freezes over, the average sane human being would, needless to say, rather spend forever idling in an extremely fertile garden, next to a lamb or a chicken or a parrot, which they do not secretly want to eat, and a lion or a tiger or a crocodile, which does not secretly want to eat them. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
3
Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong men; a child, old men; an ignorant man, knowledgeable men; and for a dwarf to control giants. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being rich or famous is the only profound thing that...
4
Being rich or famous is the only profound thing that some people have ever said. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone...
5
For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most sane human beings’ chances of being alive in a...
6
Most sane human beings’ chances of being alive in a thousand years’ time are a hundred times higher than their chances of being sincerely happy for at least ten consecutive days. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Not a few millions of parents strongly hope that their...
7
Not a few millions of parents strongly hope that their own children will step in by instantly becoming their own parents’ foster parents, if and when the parents reach their second childhood. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most sane human beings who are over the age of...
8
Most sane human beings who are over the age of six usually act or react not as per what they genuinely feel or really think but in accordance with the expectations of those around them. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
9
The most upsetting thing about Society’s attitude towards disabled people is that many millions of disabled people became disabled while trying to please Society, the very same bitch that secretly regards them as subhuman. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily...
10
Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by our mothers, or vice versa. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Patriotism is the narcissism of countries.
11
Patriotism is the narcissism of countries. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Greed is a contagious mental illness without which civilization as...
12
Greed is a contagious mental illness without which civilization as we know it would not have been possible. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
13
Many a survivor of a plane crash who is or was against cannibalism and had never eaten human flesh once found themselves in a situation where they had to either eat human flesh, or go the way of all flesh. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
14
Many if not most slaves would have each readily jumped, and many if not most slaves would each readily jump, at the opportunity to be a master, if such an opportunity presents or had presented itself. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
15
Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not all underdeveloped and developing countries look up to and aspire to someday be developed countries. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
16
To ask a man whether or not he has a girlfriend is to talk about his sex life. If you disagree with that, then how in the name of God do you differentiate between a man’s girlfriend and a girl that is a friend to the man? Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The last time everyone loved or at least liked everyone...
17
The last time everyone loved or at least liked everyone was when the world had a population of about 4. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
18
As we all know, as if forever exploiting or attempting to exploit each other were not enough, a group of sane human beings who have just reached the end of a war against a common enemy of theirs will sooner or later start or continue killing and/or fighting against each other. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
In reality most human beings are not, to most human...
19
In reality most human beings are not, to most human beings, more important than money. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
20
For their never-ending endeavours to obtain or retain wealth, countries desperately need companies, because they–unlike most human beings–have the means of production, and human beings, because they–unlike all companies–have the means of reproduction. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
21
Most sane human beings who have managed to attain and retain fame each uses it to dramatically increase their name’s chances of being remembered until Jesus comes back, since their heart cannot do what they consciously or unconsciously lust for, that is to say, for it to beat until Jesus returns. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The average adult has had sex innumerable times more than...
22
The average adult has had sex innumerable times more than they have formed an opinion of their own. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Although they probably know that some children were used and...
23
Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the chocolate industry’s use of minors. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There is nothing morally wrong with buying stolen goods, unless...
24
There is nothing morally wrong with buying stolen goods, unless you know that they were stolen. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
25
Millions of business people are each constantly forced to choose between their desire to not be a bad person and their desire to be a good business person, that is to say, to make as much money as they possibly can by maximizing their revenue while minimizing the cost of producing whatever it is that they sell. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
26
We, in the interest of the so-called progress, have been persuaded to leave the production and at times the cooking of our food to companies whose owners and employees make a living by exploiting our busyness or laziness and our innate hunger to continue living. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
27
Many millions of pregnancies–many if not most of which have each led to the birth of at least one child–were each used as nothing but a conspicuous means to a secret end called the evasion of abortion. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
28
The world economy would collapse if a significant number of people were to realize and then act on the realization that it is possible to enjoy many if not most of the things that they enjoy without first having to own them. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
29
Many a parent, sad to say, has used their child as an opportunity for them, the parent, to do, through their child, something or some of the things that they, the parent, did not do or did not do successfully. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
30
When selecting a one-night stand, a heterosexual woman who is materialistic is a trillion times more likely to choose a sexually unattractive poor man who seems rich over a sexually attractive rich man who seems poor. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more...
31
Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of us who will never be or have not yet been pushed or pulled into old age. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
As an unavoidable result of the inevitable loss of some...
32
As an unavoidable result of the inevitable loss of some physical and/or some mental abilities, many a man who has been alive for many years has become a boy again. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Millions of sane people would each be sexually attracted to...
33
Millions of sane people would each be sexually attracted to their own parent or child if they were not related to them. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life is a process during which one initially gets less...
34
Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they...
35
Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people hate people who are overconfident, only because their...
36
Some people hate people who are overconfident, only because their overconfidence reminds them of their underconfidence. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A premature death does not only rob one of the...
37
A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
38
If we were not impressed by job titles, suits, and jargon, we would demand that financial advisors show us their personal bank statements before they tell us what we could or should do with our own money. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Boredom is probably more frequent and more tormenting if you...
39
Boredom is probably more frequent and more tormenting if you do not have sight or hands. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
In some cases, you can tell how somebody is being...
40
In some cases, you can tell how somebody is being treated by their own boss from the way they are treating someone to whom they are a boss. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
41
Some people are each holding on to a lover of theirs who no longer loves them and/or who they no longer love, only because they do not want to have a reason or another reason to be jealous of the person who would eventually be their lover if they let go of them. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women...
42
Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women if they stopped bringing their vaginas along. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each...
43
A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their partner, even if that is not true. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
44
More often than not, an inspirational or motivational speaker is someone who makes money from telling us that we can do all of the things that we can do … and pretty much all of the things that we cannot do. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent...
45
Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most of us cling to life as if our existence...
46
Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Bigheadedness is usually a symptom of small-mindedness.
47
Bigheadedness is usually a symptom of small-mindedness. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
48
Some people will hate you for not loving them. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We are way less likely to love someone just because...
49
We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
50
The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily mean that he or she does not love you. And the fact that you are the only person who someone is sleeping with does not necessarily mean that he or she loves you. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing...
51
A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or has only one hand. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
52
Most human beings strongly believe that money is way less important than the life of a human being, but in reality five hundred, fifty, or even five dollars are way more important to the lives of most human beings than the lives of most human beings. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most human beings would have never been pained by the...
53
Most human beings would have never been pained by the death of a human being if they had never seen a human being or pretending to be pained by that. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
54
More often than not, expecting to lose weight without first losing the diet that made the weight loss necessary is like expecting a pig to be spotless after hosing it down while it was still rolling in mud. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an...
55
Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being bored is the price we pay for not being...
56
Being bored is the price we pay for not being insane. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We are loved way more by some of the people...
57
We are loved way more by some of the people who have not contacted us in the last twelve or so months than we are loved by some of those who contact us every twelve or so days … or hours. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We all have problems. Or rather, everyone has at least...
58
We all have problems. Or rather, everyone has at least one thing that they regard as a problem. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Many a death was precipitated by the food, the job,...
59
Many a death was precipitated by the food, the job, or the medication whose main function was to postpone it. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
When in court, the primary role of lawyers is not...
60
When in court, the primary role of lawyers is not to prove or disprove innocence; unbeknown to almost all lawyers and their clients, it is to save the court time. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The death of a billionaire is worth more to the...
61
The death of a billionaire is worth more to the media than the lives of a billion poor people. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
One of the main functions of a push-up bra is...
62
One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The kind of lies that someone tells us gives us...
63
The kind of lies that someone tells us gives us an idea of how stupid, knowledgeable, intelligent, or ignorant they are … or they think we are. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
An expensive coffin does not decrease the deceased’s chances of...
64
An expensive coffin does not decrease the deceased’s chances of going to hell. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Unless they are off duty, no matter how wide it...
65
Unless they are off duty, no matter how wide it is, and even when it is sincere, a smile seems fake if the job description of the person who is smiling includes smiling. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people have contracted HIV during their separate endeavours to...
66
Some people have contracted HIV during their separate endeavours to give someone or some people a curable STD. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You cannot be truly humble, unless you truly believe that...
67
You cannot be truly humble, unless you truly believe that life can and will go on without you. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Famine sometimes increases the number of people who are overweight.
68
Famine sometimes increases the number of people who are overweight. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some social ills are preserved by the common misbelief that...
69
Some social ills are preserved by the common misbelief that things such as ignorance, greed, and stupidity do not have the stamina required to reach old age. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A truly compassionate man gives a poor woman a portion...
70
A truly compassionate man gives a poor woman a portion of his meal before he eats, not after he has eaten. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some women’s greatest achievement is sleeping with a man who...
71
Some women’s greatest achievement is sleeping with a man who is rich, famous, and/or wanted by many women, whereas some women’s greatest achievement is refusing to sleep with such a man. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people masturbate to temporarily replace their partners when they...
72
Some people masturbate to temporarily replace their partners when they are absent, whereas some people do that to temporarily live in the present. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
With regard to things such as independence, mental capabilities, and...
73
With regard to things such as independence, mental capabilities, and sexuality, a very old man is nothing but a gigantic infant with white hair and wrinkles. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life sometimes reminds us that it is sometimes heartless by...
74
Life sometimes reminds us that it is sometimes heartless by giving something or someone we really need to someone who does not need or even want them or it. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people who have been working out regularly for months...
75
Some people who have been working out regularly for months or even years are still out of shape because the number of cheat days they have in a week exceeds six. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some of the people who hate me love some of...
76
Some of the people who hate me love some of the sentences that I have written, until they get to the name of the person to whom the sentences are attributed. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
77
A maid’s yard, house, wardrobe, fridge, etc. sometimes also serve as her master’s dustbin or dumpsite. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
78
If the food that one ate the night before were somehow able to be seen and identified through one’s clothes throughout the day, millions of employees would each fast ten or so days before their payday. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The human population would probably be way less than a...
79
The human population would probably be way less than a thousand, if ejaculation were not usually accompanied by an orgasm. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Many of the boys and men who are regarded as...
80
Many of the boys and men who are regarded as immature by some females are so deemed merely because they do not want to get married someday … or soon. Mokokoma Mokhonoana