Quotes From "The Art Of Body Language: 8 Ways To Optimize Nonverbal Communication For Positive Impact" By Susan C. Young

Is chemistry a biological reaction which supports the propagation of our species? Or is it simply about being excited to find someone with mutually shared values, passions, interests, or experiences? Or is it because you have the same energy, vibrate at the same frequency, or share the same attitude? Regardless of how it happens, a robust and healthy chemistry is always a nice surprise and something to be celebrated. Susan C. Young

We prefer to be around others who bring out the best in us and make us feel good, don’t we? Customers want to do business with people who make them feel valued, appreciated, and happy. Susan C. Young

Bringing a great attitude with positive energy is one of the best strategies you can have for your personal and professional success. Matching our energy with another person’s will help us build rapport and relationships more easily. Susan C. Young

We are all wired with a natural propensity to learn, grow, and expand. Think of the positive things that make you happy, bring you joy, deepen your understanding, and make you feel wonderful. These things enlarge and grow with positive energy, don’t they? The opposite is true as well; negative things make us feel stressed, sad, angry, or overwhelmed. They leave us feeling depleted and contracted. . Susan C. Young

ASK YOURSELF: Who are the people you are drawn to who bring out the best in you? How do they make you feel? Is your positive energy doing the same thing for others? Susan C. Young

Upbeat people make us feel appreciated, important, and fantastic. These are the folks who expand and warm us with their positive energy. Susan C. Young

The Broaden-and-Build Theory in Positive Psychology suggests that positive emotions initiate upward spirals of positivity which contribute to our optimal well-being. It is no wonder positive people are more likely to make a positive impact! Susan C. Young

People who cast a negative energy can make us feel doubtful, devalued, and disrespected. In response, we contract and are left cold as our awesome energy evaporates in their shadow. Downward emotional spirals ensue. Susan C. Young

A light-hearted point to consider: Do you know the number one reason a man falls in love with a woman? Because of how she makes him feel about himself. Do you know the number one reason a man falls out of love with a woman? Because of how she makes him feel about himself! It is the same reason! When you inspire and motivate another person through your positive energy, they want you to stick around! . Susan C. Young

How we feel with someone–if they improve our mood or cause our heart to sink–can determine the health of the relationship. How do you feel around them? It's a simple measurement tool. Susan C. Young

Throughout your life you will meet thousands of people, but every once in a while, you feel instant chemistry with a person and connect immediately. It is like meeting an old friend or returning home again. Your relationship enjoys easy compatibility and commonality. Not only can you sometimes finish each other’s sentences, but regardless of how much time may pass, you can reunite and start up wherever you left off. . Susan C. Young

Instant chemistry feels great! It is a raw, organic emotion. The art and science of relationship chemistry is still a mystery to me, but it is always a delight when it happens. You certainly know when you feel it, and that sizzle begins many a new relationship. Susan C. Young

Ask anyone who has ever fallen in love at first sight and they will tell you–their mutual chemistry created an instant attraction. We have all known friends who went on a first date and knew instantly that they would spend the rest of their life with that person. Or, they knew instantly there was no chance because there was no chemistry at all. Susan C. Young

Unfortunately, while people may be considerate with their illness, they often lack the same consideration with their bad attitudes, not thinking twice about spewing their negative energy on everyone around them and making others sick in the process. Talk about making a bad impression, much less setting you up for an unfavorable outcome! Susan C. Young

It's a fact. We are magnets who attract whatever we are being. When we emit positive energy, thoughts, feelings, and vibrations, we attract more positives to us. When we emit negative energy, thoughts, feelings, and vibrations, we attract more negatives. Susan C. Young

The "Law of Attraction" simply states: “What you think about, you bring about.” Whatever you focus on will expand and attract more of the same. Whatever you are putting out there is usually what you are getting back. So, if you don’t like what you’re getting, you’ve got to change what you are giving. Susan C. Young

You magnetize what you are being. You give a smile .. . you get a smile back. If you point fingers with anger, you will get anger in return. If you are obsessing about scarcity, you will continue to live in lack. If you focus on nurturing friends, you will enjoy more enriching relationships. Susan C. Young

Without even realizing it, we magnetize people, opportunities, and outcomes. Many people continue to attract dysfunctional folks who bring trauma, drama, crisis, and negativity and then wonder why they are so miserable. Be cognizant of how you’re being because it is most certainly attracting what you’re receiving. Susan C. Young

Cheri Davis is a fun, energetic, positive, and beautiful friend. We both share a vibrant and positive energy which is a rare and wonderful quality. No matter what is going on in the world, we have a magic ability to energize each other and make the day better simply by speaking. She once said to me, “Susan, our low is most people's high.” Indeed. We will not always match the energies of others, and when theirs is lower than ours, that can be a very good thing! . Susan C. Young

Emotion is energy in motion; therefore, different states of mind, perceptions, and feelings can all result in different electromagnetic frequencies. How can you elevate your enthusiasm and energize your life? Susan C. Young

What saps your energy and drains your strength? If it makes you feel bad on the inside, it will make those around you feel bad too! Don’t be the energy vampire whom people want to avoid. Susan C. Young

Fuel Your Ride with Positive Energy. Having desire, vision, and focus will help you turn your bus in the right direction, and positive energy is needed to take you where you want to go. Susan C. Young

Throw out and discard all negative energy that comes your way and find the positives in the situations. You may be having a bad day at work or a lot to do, but be thankful you have a job to go to while many others do not. Always fuel your life with positive energy if you want to be successful. Susan C. Young

Guard your energy by setting boundaries, just saying 'no, " and limiting your interactions with people who drain you. The measure–how do they make you feel? Susan C. Young

Access your joy within; feel and focus on it, allowing it to expand to fill your entire being. Susan C. Young

Use positive affirmations to shift your mindset and re-train your brain for positivity. Susan C. Young

Be in the Now Moment–don’t squander your energy on a past you can’t change or a future which has not yet happened. Susan C. Young

Ask yourself and become more aware–are you. .. - Speaking poorly of others in judgment, gossip, and intolerance?- Looking for, dwelling on, and obsessing over the negative?- Being grumpy, negative, and infecting others with your bad attitude or victim mentality? Susan C. Young

We live in a universe made up of energy. The energy that binds, as it whirls and swirls physical atoms, exists at varying levels of vibration and frequency. Susan C. Young

Science proves that what appears to be solid is simply moving at a slower rate. Whereas, what is moving, grooving, and flowing, has a higher rate of vibration. We as humans work the same way. Susan C. Young

Like everything else in our world, we too are energy. Each one of us is an energy being releasing our own distinctive energy signature that is perceptible to others by way of our choices, perceptions, behaviors, attitudes, and physical cues. Susan C. Young

You know when you feel good and you know when you feel bad. As a result, you are experiencing and displaying a wide range of energies, aren’t you? Some bring you up, while some bring you down. Start paying attention to your unique energy. Susan C. Young

At networking events, I am a heat-seeking missile for happy, vibrant people. With experience and practice, you can develop a sixth sense about whom to approach and of whom to be wary. I'm drawn to people with positive energy. I would rather be lifted up than pulled down. Wouldn’t you? Susan C. Young

Imagine how your positive attitude feels when you are enjoying a fabulous day–the sky is blue, the grass is green, the birds are singing–and all is right in your world. You are filled with boundless energy and joyful optimism. Life is great! And then .. . you cross the path of an energy vampire whose low vibe and toxic energy drains out every bit of yours–pulling you down. Susan C. Young

The difference between a positive attitude and a negative attitude can be measured by its level of energy, both inwardly and outwardly. Susan C. Young

Energy is contagious and infectious and whether it is the good kind or the bad kind–other people feel it. Susan C. Young

Palm Reading 101- Palm Up– Conveys openness, service, humility, and sympathy.- Palm Down–Demonstrates authority, superiority, and control.- Palm Vertical–Shows you are meeting on equal terms with a mutually respectful greeting.- Palm Wet, Cold, or Clammy–Ick! The "dead fish" is creepy. Make your hands warm and dry before reaching out to touch someone, please! It can also be conveyed as being nervous or over-excited.- Palm Perfect–This is my favorite. Better known as the "hand hug." While you are shaking hands with your right hand, place your left hand on top, wrapping both people in warmth and trust. This two-handed shake illustrates affection, caring, or concern, especially when you then reach up to grasp their arm or shoulder. . Susan C. Young

High fives and fist bumps have become the popular alternatives to traditional handshakes, especially among the younger generations. As a new social norm, they are used as a greeting, an approval, an acknowledgement, a celebration, and a gesture of understanding. High fives and fist bumps are also viewed as a healthier alternative to traditional handshakes because they don’t spread germs. Susan C. Young

Considerations & Exceptions for Impressive Handshakes- Be mindful of a person’s age; be tender with arthritic hands. In that case, a loose and gentler handshake is a gesture of sensitivity and compassion.- Show interest; even if your right hand is full, offer your left hand. - Demonstrate respect when you are caught in an introduction while seated; try to stand. - Be instinctive about when to allow the length of your handshake to linger to express unity, connection, or sympathy. . Susan C. Young

All hugs are not created equal. Some people are naturally gifted in showering others with warmth and affection. They can hug with such a sincere intention it transcends a handshake. Their hugs feel genuine, non-threatening, and are emotionally consistent with the relationship they share with the "hugee. Susan C. Young

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Brian is a deeply compassionate man who was sad to learn that his work colleague, Tom, had lost his 17-year-old daughter to a drug overdose. When Tom returned to work weeks later, Brian approached him and said, “Man, I am so sorry. There are no words to express my condolences.“ Brian reached out to hug Tom. At first, he was rigid and on guard, but with Brian’s genuine embrace, he felt Tom release into his safety. Tom had been so incredibly strong for his wife and family that Brian’s powerful hug allowed him to surrender into another man’s strength. It was a memorable and powerful step towards healing. Sometimes a hug at the right time, even if spontaneous, can be the kindest thing you can do for another human being. . Susan C. Young

Hugging is quite an intimate contact. Considering the studies done on proxemics we looked at earlier; when you get within two feet of another person you are inside their intimate space. There are some people who truly do not want you in their 'bubble' unless you are close friends or they’ve given you permission. Assuming familiarity incorrectly can destroy rapport, make a bad impression, and risk everything you have done well up to then. . Susan C. Young

Look for all of the possible missteps in the following scenario. My friend Amy arrived at a consultation with her Hispanic business partner. The African American woman to whom they were delivering their presentation was a long-time friend of her partner’s. Her partner was greeted with a hug and Amy was greeted with a handshake. The meeting was a great success. As it came to a close, the two friends hugged. With enthusiastic affection, Amy went to hug the African American client. The woman took a step, turned her shoulder to block the hug, and looked at Amy with dismissive anger. It was almost a defensive move. Her partner, recognizing this, put her arm around Amy to soften the situation and make light of the inappropriate gesture. Everything turned out fine, but Amy was baffled by the barrier. She was confused by the woman’s reaction since their interaction had been cordial and positive. She wondered if she had been socially insensitive or culturally inappropriate. After much reflection, however, she realized that she had simply been too quick to assume familiarity. Thankfully, she earned and learned the lesson quickly to become more aware. Amy eventually earned the trust of her client and secured her valuable business. . Susan C. Young

Physical touch is one of my primary love languages. For those of us who share this love language, touching is an endearing gesture of affection, appreciation, and connection. It is not intended to be inappropriate in any way when we hug you upon meeting, pat your back, or squeeze your arm. For us, it is an enthusiastic demonstration of friendship. However, there are many people who do NOT like to be touched–men or women. In spite of our good intentions, touching can make others feel awkward, offended, and in the worst-case scenario, violated. It is crucial to be vigilant and socially aware enough that you can read people’s cues to know when to pull back and contain yourself. . Susan C. Young

Confession. Years ago, I was invited to a cocktail party for an Asian-American networking group. As I introduced myself to a Japanese businessman, I reached out and firmly shook his hand. Much to my embarrassment now, I automatically took my other hand and wrapped our hands in a “hand hug.” This is a common gesture of friendship in the South. As his wife approached, however, she appeared appalled and felt disrespected that I was touching her husband. Our cultural differences were marked. Despite this cultural mishap, I was able to redeem myself. We all moved past it and delighted in an interesting conversation. Physical touch is a touchy topic (pun intended), especially when various cultures are involved. Susan C. Young

Seek to make others feel comfortable by demonstrating respect for their individual needs as well as their cultural norms. Your consideration and heightened awareness will guide you well–and help you make a great first impression. Susan C. Young

Approachability. Being warm and inviting demonstrates comfort, care, and emotional safety all of which encourages engagement. Your openness says, “I’m happy to meet you and am glad you’re here. Susan C. Young

Handshakes, Hugs & Other Touching. Learning how to touch appropriately can elevate your presentation, demonstrate respect, and convey confidence. Susan C. Young

Orientation & Proximity. Be aware of the orientation between yourself and others so that you can be sensitive and responsive to their comfort zones. Susan C. Young