Quotes From "Resident Mad Scientist" By Howard Tayler

1
Captain, I'm fairly unique among artificial intelligences. I am FREE.I work for you because I want to. I fly your ship for you because I enjoy it. I am compelled to accept orders only by my conscience. This makes me an equal with the rest of your troops. They aren't hard-wired to obey you, yet they'll follow you to the ends of the Universe. Howard Tayler
Where's your sense of adventure? It died under mysterious circumstances....
2
Where's your sense of adventure? It died under mysterious circumstances. My sense of self-preservation found the body, but assures me it has an airtight alibi.- Captain Tagon & Captain Andreyasn Howard Tayler
When the enemy of my enemy is willing to use...
3
When the enemy of my enemy is willing to use plasma weapons inside a hotel, I think I can do better than stupid aphorisms, General.-Captain Kevyn Andreyasn Howard Tayler
4
Ennesby, get the Serial Peacemaker to the beach for dustoff."" Dustoff? You're going to run away from three guys?"" No, I'm going to kill or capture those three guys, and then run away from the Police. Howard Tayler
Technically, you don't pay me. And technically, most of what...
5
Technically, you don't pay me. And technically, most of what I do is "think."I...rrr. ummm. And when you get right down to it, I'm better at it than you are.- Ennesby & Captain Tagon Howard Tayler
Yes, but none of them can steal my ship. None...
6
Yes, but none of them can steal my ship. None of them are smart enough to know that it was the right thing to do at the time. Howard Tayler
7
Are you done briefing the company yet?"" We, um... Haven't gotten through the introductions yet."" Allow me: Time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, this is the mercenary company "Tagon's Toughs.""Company, this is the time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, who will have become your captain thirty-two hours from now, as of seven weeks ago. Now, quick. Let's go save the galaxy while they're confused. Howard Tayler
Ow. Stop that. It hurts my brain. Isn't your brain...
8
Ow. Stop that. It hurts my brain. Isn't your brain distributed through your entire body? See why I want you to stop with the doublethink?- Sergeant Schlock & Captain Tagon Howard Tayler
9
AAAAIIIE! You're the guy with the things, and the thing that does that thing, and then you did that one thing! Oh, and I think there's something about other things, and maybe you fix things?- Sergeant Schlock Howard Tayler
10
Being a mercenary, though... Hey, we just go wherever there's a mixture of money and trouble, and everyone in the galaxy is a potential customer. Even the people you're paid to shoot at? Well, yeah. There are customers we serve, and customers we service.- Captain Kevyn Andreyasn & General Tagon Howard Tayler
11
Air traffic control is going to have a steamy old fit on your dime, boy. They can get in line behind the police, the people whose cars we trashed, the Empire of Ob'enn, the Partnership Collective, and the Wormgate Corporation. Oh, and I think maybe some dark matter beasties from Andromeda.You "think maybe"?- General Tagon & Captain Andreyasn Howard Tayler
12
The way you blunder from one catastrophe to the next, it's a wonder the whole galaxy doesn't hate you. The galaxy is a big place, General. You provincial military types don't get far enough out to really see that.- General Tagon & Captain Kevyn Andreyasn Howard Tayler