Quotes From "My Booky Wook" By Russell Brand

1
Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment — you just chew it to give yourself something to do with your stupid idiot Western mouth. Half the world is starving, and the other’s going, ‘I don’t actually need any nutrition, but it would be good to masticate, just to keep my mind off things. Russell Brand
2
I hope it is not necessary for me to stress the platonic nature of our relationship- not platonic in the purest sense, there was no philosophical discourse, but we certainly didn't fuck, which is usually what people mean by platonic; which I bet would really piss Plato off, that for all his thinking and chatting his name has become an adjective for describing sexless trysts. Russell Brand
3
Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I never went in but I bet it was a robot church for androids, where the Bible was in binary and their Jesus had laser eyes and metal claws. Russell Brand
4
And while we're on the subject of ducks, which we plainly are, the story, 'The Ugly Duckling' ought be banned as the central character wasn't a duckling or he wouldn't have grown up into a swan. He was a cygnet. Russell Brand
5
I regret that I didn’t realize that actually they’ve got no power over you at school – it’s all just a trick to indoctrinate you into being a conditioned, tame, placid citizen. Rebel, children, I urge you, fight the turgid slick of conformity with which they seek to smother your glory. Russell Brand
I want to change the world, and do something valuable...
6
I want to change the world, and do something valuable and beautiful. I want people to remember me before I'm dead, and then more afterwards. Russell Brand
A personality for the incredibly beautiful can be a pointless...
7
A personality for the incredibly beautiful can be a pointless cargo... Russell Brand
8
What I've learnt - to my cost - on several occasions in my life, is that people will put up with all manner of bad behaviour so long as you're giving them what they want. They'll laugh and get into it and enjoy the anecdotes and the craziness and the mayhem as long as you're going your job well, but the minute you're not, you're fucked. They'll wipe their hands of you without a second glance. Russell Brand
9
People do this a lot. They don't seem to realise that the future is just like now, but in a little while, so they say they're going to do things in anticipation of some kind of seismic shift in their worldview that never actually materialises. But everything's not going to be made of leather, the world won't stink of sherbet. Tomorrow is not some mythical kingdom where you'll grow butterfly wings and be able to talk to animals - you'll basically feel pretty much the same way you do at the moment. . Russell Brand
10
When it comes to your career, you must always try and allow the positive aspects of your character to dictate what happens to you. Be led by your talent, not by your self-loathing; those other things you just have to manage. Russell Brand
11
Boggle with sex addicts is up there with go-kart racing with junkies. Russell Brand
12
Even as a junkie I stayed true [to vegetarianism] - 'I shall have heroin, but I shan't have a hamburger.' What a sexy little paradox. Russell Brand
13
The need to find out what will happen if I don't relent or moderate my actions has been a constant source of difficulty and discomfort in my life. Russell Brand
14
Be led by your talent, not by your self-loathing; those other things you just have to manage. Russell Brand