Quotes From "Married With Zombies" By Jesse Petersen

1
Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might come in handy during a zombie infestation. Jesse Petersen
2
Make requests, not demands. "Please" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets. Jesse Petersen
3
Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you. Jesse Petersen
4
I should have known that having "end of the world" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I highly recommend it. Jesse Petersen
5
Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble. Jesse Petersen
6
So you killed him with what now?"" I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..." And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy. Jesse Petersen
7
Admit when you're wrong. It doesn't fix a busted leg, of course, but it's a nice gesture none-the-less. Jesse Petersen
8
Share in your activities and interests. If you are going to kill zombies anyway, why not do it together? Jesse Petersen
9
Present a united front: YOU against the zombies. Jesse Petersen
10
Talk openly about important issues like money, sex, and religion. They can affect your life and happiness a great deal. Especially when it comes to cults. Jesse Petersen
11
Show physical affection. Nothing says "I love you" like bearing the entirety of your spouse's weight. Jesse Petersen
12
You are your partner are on the same side - it's the side of the living. Jesse Petersen
13
Men are from Mars. Zombies are from Hell. Jesse Petersen
14
Have you ever wanted to smash a car? Or break a television? Or maybe burn a big fire in the middle of a city square? If the answer is yes, then you'd have some fun during a zombie infestation. It's the little moments, you know? Jesse Petersen