Quotes From "Making Money" By Terry Pratchett

1
You're not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you?"" Only a man would think of that. It's our job, " said Moist. "If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will. Terry Pratchett
Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms:...
2
Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit. Terry Pratchett
.. . you worked for Harry King, they said, because...
3
.. . you worked for Harry King, they said, because a broken leg was bad for business, and Harry King was all about business. Terry Pratchett
4
Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes, ' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha! ' Ha ha, ' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah! , ' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha! ! Ahahahahahahhhhh! ! ! ! ! -'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed. Sorry about that, it's the air down here, ' he mumbled. Terry Pratchett
5
He sighed. It had come to this. He was a responsible authority, and people could use terms like "core values" at him with impunity. Terry Pratchett
6
The money… will talk?' said Mr Spools carefully.' Imps, ' said Moist. 'They're only a sort of intelligent spell. They don't even have to have a shape. We'll print them on the higher denominations. Terry Pratchett
7
Plans can break down. You cannot plan the future. Only presumptuous fools plan. The wise man steers. Terry Pratchett
8
Is that all, sir? Only we've got stuff to finish before our knocking-off time, you see, and if we stay late we have to make more money to pay our overtime, and if the lads is a bit tired we ends up earning the money faster'n we can make it, which leads to a bit of what I can only call a conundrum–"" You mean that if you do overtime you have to do more overtime to pay for it?" said Moist, still pondering how illogical logical thinking can be if a big enough committee is doing it." That's right, sir, " said Shady. "And down that road madness lies."" It's a very short road, " said Moist, nodding. Terry Pratchett
9
But what's worth more than gold?"" Practically everything. You, for example. Gold is heavy. Your weight in gold is not very much gold at all. Aren't you worth more than that? Terry Pratchett
10
I think it is just a matter of getting into the mind of the writer, ” Vetinari went on, looking at a letter covered with grubby fingerprints and what looked like the remains of someone’s breakfast. He added: “In some cases, I imagine, there is a lot of room. Terry Pratchett
11
They are tragic, ' said Vetinari, 'and we laugh at their tragedy as we laugh at our own. The painted grin leers out at us from the darkness, mocking our insane belief in order, logic, status, the reality of reality. The mask knows that we are born on the banana skin that leads only to the open manhole cover of doom, and all we can hope for are the cheers of the crowd. Terry Pratchett
12
Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot's mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine. Terry Pratchett
13
Insanity is catching. Terry Pratchett
14
The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip. Terry Pratchett