Quotes From "Life The Universe And Everything" By Douglas Adams

I have detected disturbances in the wash.'' The wash?'' The space-time wash.'' Are we talking about some sort of Vogon laundromat, or what are we talking about?'' Eddies in the space-time continuum.'' Ah...is he. Is he.'' What?'' Er, who is Eddy, then, exactly? Douglas Adams

Having solved all the major mathematical, physical, chemical, biological, sociological, philosophical, etymological, meteorological and psychological problems of the Universe except for his own, three times over, [Marvin] was severely stuck for something to do, and had taken up composing short dolorous ditties of no tone, or indeed tune. The latest one was a lullaby. Marvin droned, Now the world has gone to bed, Darkness won't engulf my head, I can see in infrared, He paused to gather the artistic and emotional strength to tackle the next verse. Now I lay me down to sleep, Try to count electric sheep, Sweet dream wishes you can keep,. Douglas Adams

But unless we determine to take action, ' said the old man querulously, as if struggling against something deeply insouciant in his nature, 'then we shall all be destroyed, we shall all die. Surely we care about that?' 'Not enough to want to get killed over it, ' said Ford. Douglas Adams

Arthur shook his head and sat down. He looked up.“ I thought you must be dead …” he said simply.“ So did I for a while, ” said Ford, “and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic. Douglas Adams

We already have the Wooden Pillar, the Steel Pillar and the Plastic Pillar. In a moment we will have the Golden Bail..'No, you won't.' We will, ' stated the robot simply. No, you won't. It makes my ship work.' In a moment, ' repeated the robot patiently, 'we will have the Golden Bail..'You will not, ' said Zaphod.And then we must go, ' said the robot, in all seriousness, 'to a party.' Oh, ' said Zaphod, startled, 'can I come?' No, ' said the robot, 'we are going to shoot you.' Oh, yeah?' said Zaphod, waggling his gun. Yes, ' said the robot, and they shot him. Zaphod was so surprised that they had to shoot him again before he fell down. (85-86). Douglas Adams

The lights were off so that his heads could avoid looking at each other because neither of them was currently a particular engaging sight, nor had they been since he had made the error of looking into his soul. It had indeed been an error. It had been late one night-- of course. It had been a difficult day-- of course. There had been soulful music playing on the ship's sound system-- of course. And he had, of course, been slightly drunk. In other words, all the usual conditions that bring on a bout of soul searching had applied, but it had, nevertheless, clearly been an error. . Douglas Adams

We can't win against obsession. They care, we don't. They win. Douglas Adams

Many words and expressions which only a matter of decades ago were considered so distastefully explicit that, were they merely to be breathed in public, the perpetrator would be shunned, barred from polite society, and in some extreme cases shot through the lungs, are now thought to be very healthy and proper, and their use in everyday speech and writing is seen as evidence of a well-adjusted, relaxed and totally un****ed-up personality . Douglas Adams

He was alone with his thoughts. They were extremely unpleasant thoughts and he would rather have had a chaperon. Douglas Adams

The longest and most destructive party ever held is now into its fourth generation and still no one shows any signs of leaving. Somebody did once look at his watch, but that was eleven years ago now, and there has been no follow up. Douglas Adams

Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in, as Arthur Dent could testify, having been lost in both time and space a good deal. At least being lost in space kept you busy. Douglas Adams

He would insult the Universe. That is, he would insult everybody in it. Individually, personally, one by one, and (this was the thing he really decided to grit his teeth over) in alphabetical order. Douglas Adams

Zaphod did not want to tangle with them and, deciding that just as discretion is the better part of valor, so was cowardice is the better part of discretion, he valiantly hid himself in a closet. Douglas Adams

Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth. Douglas Adams

And then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. Douglas Adams

Trillian did a little research in the ship's copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It had some advice to offer on drunkenness. "Go to it, " it said, "and good luck. Douglas Adams

Having solved all the major mathematical, physical, chemical, biological, sociological, philosophical, etymological, meteorological and psychological problems of the Universe except for his own, three times over, [Marvin] was severely stuck for something to do, and had taken up composing short dolorous ditties of no tone, or indeed tune. The latest one was a lullaby. Marvin d Douglas Adams

In fact, Lig never formally resigned his editorship–he merely left his office late one morning, and has never returned since. Though well over a century has now passed, many members of the Guide staff still retain the romantic notion that he has simply popped out for a sandwich and will yet return to put in a solid afternoon's work. Strictly speaking, all editors since Lig Lury Jr., have therefore been designated acting editors, and Lig's desk is still preserved the way he left it, with the addition of a small sign that says LIG LURY, JR., EDITOR, MISSING, PRESUMED FED. Douglas Adams

The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball. Douglas Adams

He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball. Douglas Adams