Quotes From "Kingdom Of The Wicked" By Derek Landy

You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The lastpresent you gave me was a stick.”“ You wanted a weapon.”“ It was a stick.”“ It had a bow on it.”“ It was a stick.”“ I thought you liked the stick. You laughed. Derek Landy

Of course I want to kill you, " said Skulduggery. "I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to. Derek Landy

I had an uneventful few days, " it told her. "The most exciting thing was an hour-long lecture from the headmaster on taking our studies seriously. He said next year's exam will arrive sooner than we think."" No, they won't, " Valkyrie said, frowning. "They'll arrive next year, exactly when we expect them."" That's what I told him, " the reflection nodded. "I don't think he's comfortable with logic, because he didn't look happy. He sent me to the Career Guidance counsellor, who asked me what I wanted to do after college." Valkyrie stowed her black clothes. "What did you say?"" I told her I wanted to be a Career Guidance counsellor. She started crying, then accused me of mocking her. I told her if she wasn't happy in her job then she should look at other options, then pointed out that I was already doing her job better than she was. She gave me detention. . Derek Landy

Emergency Valve Regulators, " she repeated. "So you do know what your doing?" Not really, " he said yanking another wire. 'I made up that term to keep you happy. I'm just pulling all the red wires because they're the pretty ones. Derek Landy

Skulduggery.""Fletcher."Fletcher stuck out his hand. Skulduggery observed it for a moment." I'm sorry, what are we doing now?"" Shaking hands, " Fletcher said. "Like adults. I just want you to know that this past year has changed me. I've grown, as a person. I'm not the same Fletcher you used to know." You look a lot like him."" Well, yeah, but-"" And you have the same ridiculous hair."" Can we just shake hands?"" Of course we can, " Skulduggery said, and they shook. "Now what?"" I, uh.. I don't really know. What do adults usually do after they shake hands?"" Generally, the first thing they do is let go."" Oh, right, " Fletcher said, and Skulduggery took his hand back. "So, Skulduggery, how have you been? You're looking well. That's a really nice tie." It's blue."" And such a nice shade." Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie. "You promised me he wouldn't be annoying. Derek Landy

I should go in alone, " Valkyrie said, speaking loudly to be heard. "If we both go in, it'll look to official."" So I'll just stay out here?" Skulduggery asked. "But what'll I do? There's no one to talk to. It's boring."" You're standing on the roof of a train, " Valkyrie pointed out. "If you find this boring, you really need your head examined. Just wait here. I'll do what has to be done and I'll be find out." Fine, " he said, sounding grumpy. "Don't be long. Derek Landy

He could wear hats. He could wear an assortment of hats of different shapes and styles. Boater hats, cowboy hats, bowler hats. The list went on. Pork-pie hats, bucket hats, trillbies and panamas. Top hats, straw hats, trapper hats. Wide brim narrow brim, stingy brim. He could wear a fez. Fezzes were cool. Hadn't someone once said that fezzes were cool? He was pretty aur ether had. And they were. They were cool. Derek Landy

Grand Mage, ” Ghastly said, as he put the map away, “did you know the sparrow flies south for the winter?”“ What an odd thing to say, ” Ravel said, and as he turned, he snapped his palm against the air and Paloma slammed into the wall.”….“ What do you know, ” Ravel said, breathing a little faster, “Skulduggery’s silly little code actually works.”“ Grand Mage, ” Ghastly said, as he put the map away, “did you know the sparrow flies south for the winter?”“ What an odd thing to say, ” Ravel said, and as he turned, he snapped his palm against the air and Paloma slammed into the wall.”….“ What do you know, ” Ravel said, breathing a little faster, “Skulduggery’s silly little code actually works. Derek Landy

Ravel said. “And I order people around really well. This morning, Tipstaff came over with a cup of tea and I told him no, I don’t want tea I want coffee. That was great. I really asserted my authority.”“ Did he go and get you a coffee?”“ No, he said he’d already made a pot of tea so I took the tea because, you know he’d already made it, but my authority was still firmly asserted.” Ghastly nodded. “He’ll think twice about making tea again.”“ That he will, Ghastly my friend, that he will. What are we looking for, by the way?“ Seriously? I gave you the file half an hour ago.”“ Yes, you did.”“ And did you read it?”“ No, I did not. . Derek Landy