Quotes From "Keepers" By Laura Kreitzer

1
I’m not your boyfriend! ” I snapped, trying to gently move her hands away from my body.“ How can you say that?” Sara asked in horror.“ It’s shockingly effortless, ” I replied. “My vocal chords vibrate, and my mouth and tongue articulate. I can even do it without thinking.” I had to remind myself to stay calm, and sarcasm was the best way to do that.“ When are you going to give me a key to your house so I don’t have to knock like some guest?” Sara asked, coming at me again. I backed away. “How about never? Is never good for you?” Sara, undeterred, said, “You’re the reason I go to therapy on Fridays.”“The plot thickens! ” Gabby exclaimed for comedic relief. Laura Kreitzer
It’s complicated, ” I said in defense, hands going up...
2
It’s complicated, ” I said in defense, hands going up to show surrender.“ Talk slowly, ” Jenna retorted derisively.“ Okay, I deserved that, ” I admitted. Laura Kreitzer
3
Help me out, ” I pleaded. “You’ve left me alone to deal with this situation, and now we’re being dealt the consequences.” I swore I heard Tom growl. I actually pulled the phone from my ear to stare at it to make sure it hadn’t turned into a tiny lion. Laura Kreitzer
4
How ya doing?” Gabby’s face came into view, and she grinned down at me. She’d stopped doing her healing thing, and the pain rushed in.“ I’m just peachy, ” I quipped, throat scratchy. “Only hurts when I breathe or blink or exist, if I’m being honest. Laura Kreitzer
5
I had this guy’s file pulled this morning, along with the rest of your neighbors. His name is Desperado.”Pause. A few seconds passed. He was waiting for my reaction.“ Did you say Desperado?” I couldn’t stop the snort of laughter that bubbled to the surface. “Yeah, ” the Director confirmed. “He changed his name when he turned eighteen. It was Melvin.”I was still laughing. “’Cause Desperado is so much better than Melvin. Laura Kreitzer
6
Jules lips quivered, and I feared she was about to cry. Then she asked, “He bit off more than he could chew, didn’t he?” She made a motion as if she was biting into a tough piece of steak. Gabriella’s lips sealed shut as she tried to hide her grin, though she failed at it when Andrew asked, “Was he eating?” He turned desperately to Gabriella, confused. Jules wasn’t about to cry, she was trying not to laugh! She giggled then, the sound tinkling and odd in the outlandish setting. Andrew straightened and shook his head at Gabriella. “Did you see him eat? . Laura Kreitzer
7
Joseph, you’re out of clean towels.” Lucia poked her head into the living room, the rest of her hidden behind the wall. Her red hair dripped water onto my wooden floors.“ She’s in the buff.” Jenna guffawed. Gabriella rolled her eyes, beaming. I rose. “Go back to the bathroom. I’ll bring you a towel, ” I ordered Lucia. She disappeared down the hall.“ You have naked angels running around your house, ” Jenna continued through her laughter. Gabby laughed louder. Laura Kreitzer
8
Well, the only reason we’re friends is because you can rock a tweed suit, ” she informed, tone mock serious. “So if you want to keep me around, I expect more tweed. Laura Kreitzer
9
Shut the front door! ” Jenna exclaimed. Andrew disappeared into the foyer, and when he returned, his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. “The door is shut? Laura Kreitzer
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Awe! Leaving so soon?” Gabby said sweetly, holding the door open. “I was just about to pull out the gun for you to play single-player Russian Roulette. Laura Kreitzer
11
I unlocked the deadbolt and flung the door open, stepping back for Gabby to see exactly who it was. “Hello, Sara, ” I greeted. A bubble of laughter escaped Gabby before she could contain it. “Yes, hello ex-girlfriend Sara. And might I add: law-breaker? Who let you out of your cage? Don’t you know Joseph has a restraining order against you? Laura Kreitzer