Quotes From "Dearly Devoted Dexter" By Jeff Lindsay

There are still very few laws against thinking, although I am sure they're working hard on that in Washington. Jeff Lindsay

I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast? Jeff Lindsay

When faced with people who have very limited conversational skills and no apparent desire to cultivate any it's always easier to simply go along. Jeff Lindsay

Since I am not actually a real human being, my emotional responses are generally limited to what I have learned to fake. Jeff Lindsay

I had become a perfect fake human, saying the stupid and pointless things that humans say to each other all day long. Jeff Lindsay

It really is better to be lucky than to be good. Jeff Lindsay

Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch? Jeff Lindsay

It's always me, isn't it? I'm not really a very nice person, but for some reason it's always me that they come to with their problems. Jeff Lindsay

A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches Jeff Lindsay

Doakes had a first name! It was Albert - had anyone ever really called him that? Unthinkable. I had assumed his name was Sergeant. Jeff Lindsay

I mean, really: what kind of person could possibly dislike me? Jeff Lindsay

I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw. . Jeff Lindsay