Quotes From "Dating: I Think Weve Missed The Point" By Cole Ryan

1
Our God is vulnerable. He is. This might be striking to some. The prominent view of God is strong, mighty, courageous - not vulnerable. God?Vulnerable? God didn’t only hang naked on a wooden cross, and He didn’t only do that because He loved us - but He did it all first. He made the first move. He initiated the relationship. He didn’t wait for us to clean ourselves up." For while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." The foundation of our relationship with God is vulnerability. Cole Ryan
2
Why does Jesus love us? Do you ever think about that? Why does Jesus, content and whole and complete and satisfied, love us? I don’t see how this would benefit Jesus. He has nothing to gain from us; we have nothing to offer Him. There’s nothing in this for Jesus.His love for us must not be driven by what He can get - but what He can give. Jesus is aware that by loving us we might become like Him - content and whole and complete and satisfied. We must not miss this: Jesus does not love us in order to get something from us in return. Jesus loves us simply to give us all that He has to offer - Himself. Cole Ryan
3
You’re not discontent for wanting to be in a relationship, you’re just human. Cole Ryan
4
In the first book of the Bible it is written that: "The Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart.” In another translation it is written like this: "God was sorry that he had made the human race in the first place; it broke his heart.” "It grieved him to his heart."" It broke his heart." We grieved him to his heart. We broke his heart. God’s heart can be…broken? You cannot love without being vulnerable - because love involves the risk of the person you’re loving not loving you back, of rejecting you - and that hurts. That grieves you to your heart. God had created man, and He loved them - but they didn’t love Him back, and it broke His heart. Cole Ryan
5
I believe marriage was designed to do what only marriage can do - point us to Jesus by modeling his love for us. This, though, isn’t easy or even preferable. This means the sin in us, the pride and selfishness and anger and stubbornness and greed and lust in us, will be revealed through our partner. A spouse can help us grow in a way that no one else in this world can. Cole Ryan
6
We’re in an a bit of an awkward situation. When the institution of marriage first came about, people commonly got married at around the same age that they began to develop feelings for the opposite sex. This is no longer the case. 13, 14 - these are no longer appropriate ages to be getting married. Now, you do not get married until you’re out of college, at least. If you get married any earlier, you’re looked down upon. So, what we have is a gap. A gap between when we begin to be attracted to the opposite sex, and when we’re allowed to give into that attraction. A gap between now and then. A fairly large gap, I might add. About a 10 or 12 year gap. I believe that dating was designed to bridge that gap. Cole Ryan
7
The opposite of lust is intentional, purposeful. The opposite of lust is longing for a ‘particular’ person — because while lust is looking to get, the opposite of lust is looking to give. The opposite of lust is choosing a certain person. The same person. Everyday.For the rest of your life. Despite what they have to offer. Now that’s romantic. The opposite of lust is waking up every morning and saying, “out of everyone else in this world, I choose you.” I choose you. Today, and everyday. I choose you not because you’re perfect for me and you meet all of my qualifications and conditions and because you make me feel loved and cared for. No. I choose you, because I know you’re a lot like me, and you’re going to fall short and mess up and you’re not always going to feel like loving me — but you’re going to want someone to stick around with you despite all that. I choose you, because I know Jesus loves you, and He doesn’t love you because He is impressed by you and He gets a warm feeling in His heart when He’s around you and you complete Him. He loves you so that you might become more like Him.This is a love that isn't dependent on us. Cole Ryan
8
And for another person to come along side us on our journey - for two messy, broken people to come together and say “I know your faults, I know you’re going to do some things I hate, I know the person you are now is not the person you want to be. However, I know the person you could become and I want to help you get there.” That’s what it’s all about. Cole Ryan
9
Notice that “love thy neighbor” - a wildly popular piece of wisdom found in the Bible - is a command. Jesus is commanding us to love. Now, Jesus understood that emotions and feelings cannot be commanded; they cannot be controlled. He must be saying that love isn’t the way you feel about someone, it’s the way your treat someone. Love isn’t something that happens to you, it’s something that you make happen. It’s a choice. Cole Ryan
10
Active love doesn’t ask: 'What does this person have to offer me?' Rather: 'What do I have to offer this person? Cole Ryan
11
Let me paraphrase what Paul is saying here: Jesus married the Church - Christians, you and me, us. The Church is His literal bride. He laid His life down for the Church. And Paul writes that husbands should love their wives in the same way that Jesus loved The Church, and vice-versa. What a daunting task. But what is made clear in this passage is that marriage was designed to display the love that Jesus has for the Church, His bride. It’s the closest thing we can get to tasting the kind of love that He has for us - a sacrificing love, a serving love, a selfless love. Do you see what this means? Marriage isn’t really about us. It’s not. It’s about God. It’s about the Gospel. Cole Ryan