Quotes From "Carpe Jugulum" By Terry Pratchett

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Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them. Terry Pratchett
When people say things are a lot more complicated than...
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When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. Terry Pratchett
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You say that you people don’t burn folk and sacrifice people anymore, but that’s what true faith would mean, y’see? Sacrificin’ your own life, one day at a time, to the flame, declarin’ the truth of it, workin’ for it, breathin’ the soul of it. That’s religion. Anything else is just .. . is just bein’ nice. And a way of keepin’ in touch with the neighbors. Terry Pratchett
And sin, young man, is when you treat people like...
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And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things. Terry Pratchett
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…We were born vampires."" I thought you became —""– vampires by being bitten? Dear me, no. Oh, we can turn people into vampires, it’s an easy technique, but what would be the point? When you eat… now what is it you eat? Oh yes, chocolate… you don’t want to turn it into another Agnes Nitt, do you? Less chocolate to go around." He sighed. "Oh dear, superstition, superstition everywhere we turn. Terry Pratchett
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It’s most unfair. Once people find out you’re a vampire they act as if you’re some kind of monster. Terry Pratchett
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He grinned. It was the sort of grin that Agnes supposed was called infectious but, then, so was measles. Terry Pratchett
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The smug mask of virtue triumphant could be almost as horrible as the face of wickedness revealed. Terry Pratchett
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I mean, it's one thing saying you've got the best god, but sayin' it's the only real one is a bit of a cheek, in my opinion. I know where I can find at least two any day of the week. And they say everyone starts out bad and only gets good by believin' in Om, which is frankly damn nonsense. Terry Pratchett
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Do you understand what’s going on here?” Hodgesaargh took another slow look at the scene. “No, ” he said.“ In that case’s not my job to understand this sort of thing, ” said the falconer. “I wasn’t trained. Probably takes a lot of training, understanding this. That’s your job. And her job. Can you understand what’s going on when a bird’s been trained and’ll make a kill and still came back to the wrist?”“ Well, no–”“ There you are, then. So that’s all right. Cup of tea, was it? . Terry Pratchett