1
Caleb dumped me on my birthday, Before I’d ordered an entrée, “ What a dick! ” some might say! But don’t you worry my little sheep, I am not sad and will not weep, For Caleb Jones is a cheat! He two-timed me with some ho, Whose name is Kacey ‘Slut’ Munroe! But I don’t care about my foe, For I have found a brand new guy, My Blue Eyed, Mr Berry Pie! And I know, he won’t make me cry, For I did fall under his spell, To him, I am his gorgeous Belle, So Caleb Jones can go to Hell! .Joanne McClean
2
One quick glance around the room and I realise that I have somehow stumbled into a wannabe serial killer convention. Every single person in the room looks as if they are concealing a weapon of some sort. My heart thuds rapidly in my chest as I sneak past an elderly man who grins lecherously at me, flashing his gold tooth. Oh dear God, I’m going to die! First, I get dumped — on my birthday no less — and now I’m going to get knifed in some seedy bar!.Joanne McClean