Quotes From "Bloodsucking Fiends" By Christopher Moore

He was a writer and words were his weapons.
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He was a writer and words were his weapons. Christopher Moore
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I've won Satan's lottery. Christopher Moore
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A woman’s magazine quiz: Question: You decide to do the dread deed and just as things are starting to get hot he comes, rolls over, and asks, “Was it good for you?” You:a. Say, “God, yes! That was the best seventeen seconds of my life”b. Say, “Sure, as good as it gets for me with a man.”c. Put a Certs in your navel and say, “That’s for you, Mr. Bunnyman. You can have it on your way back up, after the job is finished . Christopher Moore
Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)
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Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)" I thinks she's going to break my heart" On arrival of the girl" The flannel is fine honey, but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman! Christopher Moore
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No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-and-Sour Metro Bus, Honda Bolognese with Burning Clutch Sauce. Christopher Moore
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Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics? Christopher Moore
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Andrew Lloyd Webber's version of the Kool-Aid jingle is at once chilling and evocative. Donny Osmond is brilliant as James Jones. Christopher Moore
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She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess. Christopher Moore
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You sure about this writer thing son? Christopher Moore
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It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death. Christopher Moore
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Rivera rubbed his temples. "Satan told you to do it?" he said wearily." No."" Elvis?"" I told you, it's supernatural. Christopher Moore