1
But I stayed up thinking about how I've been lying to him, no less than I lie to myself in my pre-sleep ritual. And I lied to him again just as we were growing more intimate than ever and he asked me about my scar.Zack Love
2
He clearly suffers from some past traumas too, so hopefully he'll understand why I was untruthful to him about mine.Zack Love
3
Adding to my emotional dizziness on Sunday, I spoke with my sister, who kept noting how amazing Michael is, and what a brave and selfless man he is for having helped as he did.Zack Love
4
My past still haunts me when I sleep, although I saw that - much to my surprise- his does as well.Zack Love
5
But then, as I looked in the mirror, I became fixated on some hairs near my carotid artery that were still there. I pushed the blade deep against my neck to shave them off, and then blood squirted out.Zack Love
6
A few minutes later, my eyes began to feel a bit droopy, but I vaguely noticed that Anissa was whispering something.Zack Love
7
The lead-up to the moment was magical in every respect, but a part of me was, and still is, uneasy about the whole thing for many reasons.Zack Love
8
In addition to my new outlook on life, in some absurdly simple way, Anissa gave me several new reasons to live. Above all, I had to see her again and find out what, if anything, would happen between her and me.Zack Love
9
But I did feel the vertigo of death’s invitation, beckoning me towards the dark waters below. Only a newfound perspective and desire steadied my wavering soul. I came to realize, just in time, that suicide was far too easy — and obscenely cowardly — after someone I knew, not even half my age, had been through so much worse and still marched gloriously on.Zack Love
10
She was somehow this damaged creature I had fortuitously encountered along my path and now cared about as a result. Granted, I didn't cause her harm, as I did with Icarus, but I somehow began to feel responsible for her welfare.Zack Love